Caption This Pic
The Third Annual Holistic Proctologist Convention got off to a rousing start in Cancun after Dr. Lieberstein’s keynote speech, “The Physiognomy of Pear,” inspired a rousing debate among the graduate students.
HCwDB of the Week: Fingers McShmucksalot and Pink Kelly's Power Thighs of Thunder Taut
Because while last week was filled with herpsters, herpsters, herpsters, herpsters, and even more herpsters, Power Thighs of Thunder Taut rule all.
And Fingers McS is all sorts of Lazy Sunday douchery.
Maybe I have a mental block about giving the Weekly to a Herpster HCwDB. If I did, then I’d have to acknowledge this greasy trend is real.
Instead I take strange comfort in the classic Vegas Choadmunch and Hot Chick. It soothes my soul in an increasingly destabilized universe.
Richard Grieco on the Adam Carolla Show
The Unholy Grieco was recently on the Adam Carolla show.
Your humble narrator was also once on the Adam Carolla show.
There is now one degree of separation between The Grieco Virus and the DB1. And all that stands between us is the Carolla. The battle continues.
Comment of the Week: Magnum Douche P.I.
MDPI sums up Goose Running and wins the coveted HCwDB of the Week:
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Bro in pic looks like he’s at his mother’s funeral. Cheer up buddy. You just paid $500 for bottle service at The Pink Pony and now get the company of Mercedees (note the unique way she spells it) for the next hour. She’ll enlighten you with her stories of how she would have gone to Cosmotology School if she hadn’t gotten knocked up by that no good unemployed loser Vinnie when she was 16, and again when she was 18, and again when she was 20.
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Friday Thoughts and Links
Remember when Peter Gibbons explained the simple truths about history?
How there were pieces of flair that the Nazis made the Jews wear that first established the vacuous consumer culture in which class is identified through the commodification of identity?
Heed the words of Peter Gibbons, Jerzey Tatthole. For you are Ric Flaired.
No idea what the hell I’m saying. But I’m still in NYC. Where Hot Chicks read the New York Times.
Here’s your links:
Your HCwDB DVD Pick of the Week: ” I don’t need this. I already got trouble with my kids, my wife, my business, my secretary, the bums… the runaways, the roaches, prickly heat, and a homo dog. This just ain’t my day. “
Aging men turning to Botox for job interviews. In as rough an economy as we’re in, it’s hard to know whether to mock this or feel deep anger for how badly Wall Street pounded us in the pooper.
It’s pretty hard to get me excited to see a movie these days, since so many are pure poocrap, but Branded just may be the best. movie. evar. Hope it lives up to the genius potential in that trailer.
Dewey Beach? More like Douchey beach! Ah a ha ha!… ha… heh… I need new writers.
Greatest ‘Stache of the 1980s.
Douchebags with Photoshop. Like a funhouse mirror. Without the fun. Or the house.
Sometimes, in my sugar snack cake and cheap alcohol infused fever dream vision quests, a moment of clarity comes to me in the form of a Vision of The Ethereal Heavenly Peace.
Douchecake. For weddings as festering with materialist rot as is the rest of society.
But you are not here for douchecake. Today, you gets not ones but twos of a Pearin’ treat:
Woodland Creature Nightmare Pear
And if that dytopian vision of futurity isn’t enough, here’s:
And by Fronds, I mean slobber slap flyswatting of the Godhand.
Go forth, fellow hunters. Another week is conclude’.
Captains Hats Imply an Ironic and Playful Sensibility
Captain Hats.
The Hot Chick equivalent of douche tatts.
Wait, maybe douche tatts are the hot chick equivalent of douche tatts. Wait, is that a tautology? Mash up Einstein’s dice quote in Hawking’s robotic voice, and you have a solution to that paradox.
Friday Haiku
It’s douche/bleethe gumbo!
But it’s missing something though…
Toss in a toaster!
~~~
“I love Jacuzzis!”
Thought John, unaware of Jan’s
Savage flatulence
Fetid bath water
Reeks of taco farts and shame
I hope he got laid
— Et Tu Douche?
A threesome sours
When poor anal hygiene fouls
The water and mood.
— Capt. James T. Douche
Bo Derrick on left
Not named after star. Oil rig
Is her deal. Leaves spills.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Hey! That’s no bathtub!
That’s Andre’s big-ass toilet!
Now give ‘er a flush!
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Dysentary is
Always more fun when shared with
Those real close to you.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
She has her leg up
Since the tub stopper was put
In her M****y Hole
— Doucheywallnuts
John forces a grin
Trying to hold anus tight
Corn bath for the Bleeths!
— Capt. James T. Douche
Anal Leakage meme
reverberates on this thread
Pass the Olestra
— SonnyChibaChoad
The smiles will soon
Fade away to psychosis
When bath salts kick in.
— Capt. James T. Douche
Time to call plumber
Sewage pipes backed up again
Draino can’t fix this
— Charles Nelson Douchely
Herpsters in the Wild
It’s like witnessing a rare Yangtze River Dolphin after breaking the crest of the morning tide in search of food.
And by rare, I mean common.
And by witnessing, I mean stupid-ass herpster shirts in presence of giggle former librarian hotts who know not for whom they cuddle, and whose douche glasses make the DB1 shed a single tear.
American Herpster
Flag crotch, irono ‘stache, and cheap beer punch Lady Liberty in the ladybits.
Herpster iPhone Self Portraits
Lest there be any doubt as to the douchebag connection within the Herpster Trend, let this iPhone self portrait slay all dissenting voices with a firm revelation of pixel evidence.
Herpster Thursday continues.
Let us witness.
And then let us never speak of this day again.
