Herpster Thursday
Today will be dedicated entirely to mocking the disturbing trend of douche-wear as hybridized with the urban hipster irono-pud.
It has gone from fringe HCwDB trend to full-blown epidemic.
And by full-blown, I mean coital bathroom wrongness.
And by epidemic, I mean permanently shmear-tainting the once lovely associations I drew between Hot Chicks and librarian glasses.
So sad when fantasies die under the withering light of Brooklyn-Silverlake coastal genetic cross splicing Brundlefly mutation.
Fingers McShmucksalot Shows You His Fingers
There are ten of them.
Pink Kelly offers Power Thighs of Thunder Taut. Do not question the power of Power Thighs of Thunder Taut. They are the perfect combination of firm and soft. Strength and tenderness.
Those who have experienced Power Thighs of Thunder Taut know for which ode I sing.
Goose Runners and Bra Reveal
This is another pic of a standard issue club-scrape pudwack posing with a lady in a strange bra-revealing dress.
One pic is a specimen.
Two pics is a trend.
Like Herpster Glasses and Native American Headgear, is the neon-bra-reveal a new standard in Bleething of Hot Chick?
Caption This Pic
Determined to wow their fellow students at the Learning Annex’s extension class, “Experimental Theater and You,” Sunny and Albert’s performance of “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” ended only in tears, shoe polish stains, and a scorching case of thigh rash.
Trapped in a Skeezer Sandwich
Don’t look down, Kelly!
Those aren’t barstools poking you in the thigh!
Yeah, I got nothin’. Too early. Stupid coffee. Not strong enough. Yet so delicious.
Breaking: Marissa Miller Still Married to a Twatwaffle
Just as she was in January of 2011.
And May of 2009.
And February of 2008.
This coupling atrocity will always be breaking news. Until the inevitable Divorce or Bleething occurs.
Billy Bartleby Is Way Too Excited to Be Working Part Time as a D.J. In Sheboygan
Thought bubbles:
Billy: I hope Cheyenne is digging my sweet dyed faux. Hope she doesn’t think I’m losing my hair.
Cheyenne: WTF? Who dyes their hair and turns it into a faux when they’re going bald?
Suzanne: Are porcupines where they get porcelain from? If so, I’m totally throwing out my kitchen table.
Australian Ladies Grade the Ab Reveal
In Australia, Ladies grade you! For douchey ab reveal.
And on an unrelated note, Aussie Hotts rank just slightly below Semitic Librarian Suckle Thigh for hottest regional pooch gnaw.
