Friday Haiku
The gals were all so
Excited by Vinnie’s crabs…
Until they caught them.
BP CEO
Poses on Gulf vacation
“This tastes so oily . . .”
— Douche Wayne
I can’t hate this guy
he’s old and just wants seafood
with a side of hott
wait, I changed my mind
did not see his six pound watch
tonight, dine IN HELL
— Douche Springsteen
Saggy balls and crabs
Fat wallet, Jersey accent
Golddigging Bleeths win
— Capt. James T. Douche
Short sold Enron stock
Living the dream in Tampa
Still fat, bald, ugly
— Vin Douchal
Macy Gray Can’t sing
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Ugly with money,
Fresh young Vagina they have,
Match made in Heaven.
— ASvB, aka Yoda
Fungwadius
Jordy Verrill thought he looked good for awhile, too.
Yeah, I’m hopelessly and relentlessly stuck in a pop-culture feedback loop from my early childhood that basically covers 1983-1987. Fruit Roll-Ups still pwn all next-generation dried snack fruits. That’s my fogeyism and I’m sticking to it.
Cheeto Man Lives!
And by lives, I mean stalking wayward Eurohotties like a mutant sentient carrot.
Old Man Phineus Cackles Like a Hyena
Lots of wrong going on in this picture.
Daddy issues do not go well with breakfast.
Caption This Pic
When the gang at 31 Flavors discovered a life size Herspter Ken doll, much greco-roman formula was expunged.
Yeah, I got nuthin’. Can you do better? Take your best shot in the comments thread.
Esoteric Wednesday
He Da Bes.
Somewhere in Echo Park, A Pabst Blue Ribbon Goes Unopened…
Herpsters.
Still out there.
Still upset that Deadmouse performed at the Grammys.
Germanic Inga spanks me upon the bottom with a cherry flavored ruler. Because I have been bad. And because I am Jewish.
Holocaust jokes. Not just for herpsters anymore.
When Wittgenstein Coughed Up a Furball
It was a cold November day in a classroom on the lower floor of Cambridge University.
1923.
Professor Ludwig Wittgenstein entered from the left.
He hunched over. The early Fall had brought with it an intemperate chill, and Wittgenstein’s arthritis has tasked his joints unceremoniously.
Wittgenstein paused.
Coughed.
Briefly picked up a piece of chalk.
Then put it down again.
Quietly, so soft that only a nearby graduate student could make out what he said, Wittgenstein remarked, “I smell future poo.”
That future is now.
The Scruffwad
Maybe HCwDB doesn’t have the cultural impact or resonance it once had. But I’m okay with that.
So long as I have a place on the interwebs to mock Scruffwad and his stupidhair while lusting after Jenny Milkshake Purity Suckle Fondle, then all is well in my little universe.
And I’m glad you’re still with me.
Leo 'Tard
Once, when I was ten, I set off a firecracker and blew up some ants on a leaf. Then I cried.
Now I know that I spared those ants having to live in a world with Leo ‘Tard. And so I feel assuaged.
