Spy on Vegas: The Muted Mutation
So where did all those rank stench pics that fueled the HCwDB run (2006-2014) actually come from?
A question I used to get a lot. The short answer: submissions. I was (and am) far too lazy to do any real work on the internets. So I relied on the kindness of douche mocking strangers to fill my site with mock fuel.
However, in a loaf pinch, there was one main go-to source if a pic of toxic cohabit was needed on short notice. The always hot-or-twatriffic Spy on Vegas.
That weekly smorgasboard of professionally photographed flop sweat and overpriced bottle service fueled many a rant on this humble corner of pop culture detritus oh so many moons ago.
Sadly for Douche Mock, happy for real life, a recent visit to Spy on Vegas shows how much things have changed. When Douches became sentient, sometime around late 2011 (my working theory is that Cyberdyne installed social media filtration behavior modification nanobots in their Axe hair-gel), douche face, ‘bag hand gesture, and all remaining simian asswafflery receded to the memories of a simpler, more mock-worthy era.
Today, modern Day ‘bags have learned to blend when camera is present. For example: Smile politely. Dress only in black. Make no hand gestures. Display only minimal peacockery to signal the females of the species that their alpha dog status remains hugamabob and grindular.
In checking my old stomping grounds, the Vegas Wonkery is still present.
But far more muted than in its hair spike heyday.
And so it goes in the age of post-postbaggery.
Club Planet.com was a good mining spot for Douche/Hott pairings and ass pears, also.
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And by good mining spot I mean, fwap
Calvous Tongueman attempts to stretch to Mary without aggravating his arteritis
We need more Mary
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. More Mary , I sez
More Mary , I sez
Groooooooooooooooooooooooo.
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I don’t worry about this semetic degeneracy anymore. That’s for Buzzfeed.
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I be raising Aryan breeders, chickens, dogs, and domestic deer on the farm. Keep your T high and your powder dry, The race war is coming.
Same douche flavor, new douche package! The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Side note: When basic math skills become a security clearance we’re definitely in trouble as a society. Weeeeee!
I guess we’ve moved on from tribal arm sleeve tats to the Holstein,/a> look being in vogue.
Mary has some nice pendulous boobs there.
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Pendulous, I sez.
tats r ghey.
roids r ghey.
big watches r ghey.
that female is nawt a hawt.
this site has gone ghey
it no longer shows hawtiez
just sum wannabeez
there wuz a time, gents
when d-bags and hawtiez ruled
now? slugs by contrast
Hi, coo!
vin diesel’s ghey cuz
hangs out with trannie bitchez
but he’s still a poof
she’s wearing a wig
he needs a wig something fierce
they both smell like poo
hormone supplements
baldie gobbles like candy
so does the trannie
stupid watch, cheap shades
plastic drink, bad shades, cheap wig
both look real stupid
Muscular Men Make the Worst Boyfriends, According to Science
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Well, duh
After 11 bloody years, bros now in their thirties still believe in bottle service
Plus ça change.
Also, is Tiesto douche catnip (douchenip) now?
I was perusing through some of the old pic mining sites as well looking for new material (clubplanet.com hasn’t uploaded any pics since 2014) but had a really difficult time finding recent images of douchenozzles in their native habitat, nuzzling for coitus amongst the throngs of bikini-clad giggling hotts.
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SpyonVegas is still uploading pics from paid photographers at DJ pool parties, but they all look like this.
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I mean WTF? I guess dude on the right is sort of douchey, what with the backwards baseball cap and six-pound watch. But the smile lines, soft dad-bod, and wedding ring betray him as Chuck: former millwright turned independent contractor with two kids that saved up enough money over the busy construction season to afford a Vegas vacation with his wife Amy, his most reliable sub contractors and their girlfriends.
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Yeah, if you look hard enough (hard I sez), you’ll find plenty of pool-side quality pear, but where did all the douchebags go? Lil Jon was at Wet Republic recently, and though there were plenty of boobalicious hottie photographs, there were no douchechoad sightings caught on camera. If anything is going to bring the douchescrotes out in droves, it’s Lil Jon playing a pool party a Wet Republic! But no, just this guy. And this guy.
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Where did they all go? Are the douchebags all hiding in shame, did they cast off their douchey ways and get jobs in real estate? Are they…dead?
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Did we….win?
Maybe he wants to be a Holstein cow when he grows up.
3time-honored