Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Mr. Spittoon Mackles Audrey
Because greasal pollution of the nation’s suckle taut hott supply is a toxic stench that even Bill Gates poopwater can’t revive through carbonic filtration.
HCwDB lives?…
Well, not so much these days.
But your humb narrs is carrying on as best he can into new permutations. And you’re always welcome to hop in our concptual DeLorean and join the heroic neck-fused DarkSock for more mock back in 2005.
Mr Spittoon: “Hey babe, that’s a nice Mom-kini you’re wearin’ there.”
Audrey: “Oh, I bet you say that to all the girls!”
Mr Spittoon: “You got that right, Doll Face.”
Audrey: “My husband wouldn’t notice if I walked into a room naked…”
Mr Spittoon: “Why don’t we go up ta my room and try that…”
Also, Mr Spittoon has some nice ManTits goin’ there. Man Tits, I says.
@DW,
I believe they are referred to as M( . )( . )b’s.
John Hatman, in the background, looks on in disgust.
Audrey is a tall luscious with what looks like a great arse.
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What’s with the Hasidic dreadlock thing M( . )( . )b’s got going on?
Definitely not M( ‘ )( ‘ )bs. M( , )( , )bs.
G’Day…..is that a crawdad hanging off his dome? And yes, I agree, NICE man boobs brah.
Now here’s some groovy shit. They don’t make theme songs like this one no more, and there ain’t no more a prince of a cat than Sammy.
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I was there when they recorded this in late ’74 at a studio in LA where Sammy was recording some other tunes even though they didn’t release it til a couple a years later. Them Dutch went nuts over it and it was a number 1 hit over there in Dutch Land. Fuckin’ Dutch…
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qRa9uhiAPBs
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He also recorded the theme from some show Chico and the Man but wittout all a the ha-cha-cha stuff that them Latin singers add to songs, and shit.
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xdT_jYJ-mxA
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Sammy loved to sing theme songs from TV shows whilst he was bangin dames. One time he was bangin some blonde skirt backstage in his dressing room whilst taping a Dean Martin special singin and sinin the tune from The Addams Family so loud Altovese heard him in the Green Room and made a bee line.
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I’m yellin ‘Cheese it, Sammy,” but he was so into the whole snappin part a the Addams tune he didn’t hear nothin, especially Altovese stormin though the door and catching him In Flagrante Delicto. Something Latin, I says.
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Meanwhiles he’s on top a this broad with his medallion hangin in her face, poundin away wit Altovese making buttons watchin the whole thing…Oofa.
He’s got a Glenn Danzig kinda-vibe going on.
She’s got a ‘Fuck the kids waiting in the minivan, I’m-in-Vegas’ kinda vibe.
And sad, mottled torso flesh.
But prolly a deeeelight in bed.
Let’s go to Vermont, he said. Take the kids for a shopping trip to Burlington, he said. I’ll be skiing the glades, he said. Got caught smoking crack with two dirty little greasy haired naked Vermont hippies by their father, they said.
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Fuck him.
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Go Pro at Gitmo.
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4
That’s a catfish “Payos” Rabbi Spittleman is wearing. He’s from the Temple Beth Chodna where the Sabbath service is at the ReHab pool at sundown on Fridays. The Cantor is DJ Mohel.
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Las Vegas Blvd. workers hand a flyer that says “Synagogue, Swim, Talmud and The Paradox of Mother’s Confusion”
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Right now the Rabbi is showing a parishioner where the hole in the sheet will be in his room later. If you know what I mean
WELLS…The winner of last week’s Fraiku is poet laureate C. Douchewin. The results, of which you’m all awaited doubtless with ‘bated breasts, was delayed on account of my fight wit’ WordPress because I’d painstakingly assemble the winners, hit “update”, then get “are you SURE you want to do this?” which is apparently WordPress-speak for “HA HA NIGGA WE JUSS E-RASED YO SHEE-YUT…BAAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA”
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*ahem* anyway…so you MAY wish to check out the Easter Egg in Mr. Douchewin’s prize-winning response, which features a Cuban sex grenade that justifies any and all attempts to reboot relations with Cuba…..
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http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/04/fraiku-3/
I missed a Haiku? Fuck me. But I met this dude abroad.
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https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BmysglqIYAAZG2q.jpg
Hey Rev, I think I gave that dude a dollar at a freeway exit. He had a sign that said “Will wash your windshield for $1” then he pissed on my car
Nigel Pepper Cock once had an orgy with Plinky’s mom, Elizabeth Warren, Perez Hilton and a dozen Dunkin Donuts
Nigel Pepper Cock once dunked a basketball with his Pepper Cock
Nigel Pepper Cock was the first guy to do facials in porn, on himself
Nigel Pepper Cock does squats thrusts in a asparagus patches
Nigel Pepper Cock is the stunt cock in every one of Jacques Doucheteau’s gay links
Nigel Pepper Cock’s cock once saved him in a head on collision when the air bag didn’t deflate in his Chevy Vega
Nigel Pepper Cock can hit in the “80 MPH” batting cage with his cock
Nigel Pepper Cock never has belly button fluff.
Nigel Pepper Cock never stands alone.
I’m stuck in a tiny f@$kin’ camper while it rains all day and alls I got to say is this.
OK and this!
Nigel Pepper Cock is a stand-up guy.
So the local Las Vegas Health Club is advertising: “If you’ve got the desire, we’ve got the TOOLS!”
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I’ll bet they do.
When the tailor asks if he hangs left or right Nigel Pepper Cock answers “Yes”
Nigel Pepper Cock’s boner qualifies for the height requirement for all the Disneyland rides
Nigel Pepper Cock eats popcorn like an elephant, with his cocck
Nigel Pepper Cock uses a Volkswagon Beetle for an athletic cup
Nigel Pepper Cock can lift the front end of a sport utility vehicle with the powerful rigidity of his mighty penis.
Nigel Pepper Cock’s penis once performed for an audience of Baptist ministers and union forklift operators in Dothan, Georgia. It sang songs from the hit musical “Oklahoma” while breaking concrete blocks through spasmodic twitching.
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Nigel wasn’t there.
Although legally blind, Nigel Pepper Cock’s penis can solve complicated math equations and crossword puzzles using a sophisticated form of radar and basic masturbation.
In late March 2012 Nigel Pepper Cock thrust his rigid penis into the unwilling cervix of Oprah Winfrey and coughed. The resulting explosion left debris in a twelve- hundred square foot area and led to small craft warnings along the coast.
^ just like the good ole days. “A Game” mock in progress
Nigel Pepper Cock’s cock would be an accurate estimate of the level of snow round here.
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Tundras
Nigel Pepper Cock was a highly ranked military advisor to the Kissinger Corporation while he was ass raping an International Harvester.
Nigel Pepper Cock is getting a tattoo of the Magna Carta on his wang.
Nigel Pepper Cock doesn’t hitch hike with his thumb.
Nigel Pepper Cock is magnetic north.
Nigel Pepper Cock gives a “cocks up” to Bruce Jenner coming out about his gender transition. He’s a fag. A finnochio, I says.
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Skin Stretchers
Largeman Cockk back on April 07, 2005. Son.s…s.
drukn
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http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/04/fraiku-5/
*burp*
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I mean…
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Largeman Cockk back on April 07, 2005. Son.s…s.
drukn
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http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/04/fraiku-5/
Nigel Pepper Cock is Hulk Hogan before steroids.
Nigel Pepper Cock tried to use the name Nigel Pepper renoB until I threatened him with a lawsuit.
Nigel PepperCock uses shed snake skins as condoms. Which regrettably are ineffective.
Nigel Pepper Cock, with the help of a medium sized stool, is quite the vibraphonist.
Nigel Pepper Cock eschews sun screen.
Nigel Pepper Cock is banned from all air guitar contests in the greater Valdosta GA area due to unfair advantage.
Nigel Pepper Cock hang drys his towels.
Nigel Pepper Cock won the intramural fencing championships whilst at university.
Rev Chad laughs at Nigel Pepper Cock
Due to his proficiency at pushing buttons Nigel Pepper Cock was once employed as an Elevator operator at the local office tower that was until that hag from accounting on the 13th floor complained.
Nigel Pepper Cock also eschews woolens when the temps get colder.
Nigel Pepper Cock has no need for a watch. Give him some sun and comfortable spot to lay on his back and he can tell you the exact time within in a millisecond.
Nigel Pepper Cock once conducted the Weirton WV Symphony Orchestra.
Old ladies love asking Nigel Pepper Cock for directions. He always points them in the right direction.
@Et Tu
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I was jamming like an old rock star at Jay Peak. Drunkstyle.
@Rev,
Jay Peak is always a good time, especially when there’s ton o snow and by snow I mean snow.
Nigel Pepper Cock bats clean up for his bar league Wiffle®Ball team.
What’s with the archives month/year missing now? That made it easy to see what ‘Sock is up to. Is it just my computer?
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Habanero Cock
The Archives are gone Vin. I can’t work under these conditions. My littler daughter saw me looking at dem pretty skanks.
That King Abdullah is rumoured to have a giant cock and balls.
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http://www.magxone.com/uploads/2011/12/Queen-Rania-Anna-Magazine-2.jpg
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Sons of Anarchy
Butt more importantly…The Dude wins the internet from last week’s shoddily managed Fraiku and gets yoga pants booty as just rewards:
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http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/04/fraiku-5/
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easter eggs.
Thank you for all your hard work, Admins (respek). What the fuck is going on in the worlds? I’m getting all paranoid and shit. Sons. This wee is fucking awesooook0——————————————————————————————————-ô18
It’s OK, Rev…head on down to Silicone Valley for this week’s Fraiku:
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http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/04/fraiku-7/
And now another legendary bag has his own show:
http://www.nbc.com/the-slap
Woould hate to be this kid…
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http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/teenager-giant-penis-shaped-like-5150529#rlabs=10
Hey Rev
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Would you eat this?
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http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/vagina-yogurt-woman-uses-bacteria-5146255#rlabs=11
Sons…Dickie Fingers won teh Interwebz this last go-round and alls he got was a link to a hard-bodied young lass sweating in a bikini with her booty reflected in a dirrty mirror. But don’t take my word for it:
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http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/04/fraiku-7/