Happy Halloween from HCwDB!!
EDIT: Apparently upset at this revival mocking of Closet of Poo enshrinee The Poopaloompa, someone named Luna posted in the comments thread to offer a defensive justapoopafication:
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The funny thing about this “douche bag” is that he is one of the kindest people alive today, but none of you take the time to know this. He probably helped get those women into shape, you know, because he is a personal trainer as well as a very successful musician. What have any of you done to better your lives, you know, besides making a website dedicated to putting down other people you know absolutely nothing about. The real douche bag reward belongs to every single one of you on account of being jealous twats.
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Let us all marvel at the benevolence of this guy. For let he who is without ab crunch cast the first hottie training session.
As Yahweh is my witness:
The moment I saw this pic and my eyes locked on the scraggleroach betwixt the two ladies of yum, the FIRST word that popped into my head was:
BARRETT.
Normally I’m a very good natured, happy go lucky kinda guy. Such a visceral reaction of supreme hostility is an essentially unknown phenomenon to me. I’m a bit rattled, actually……….
…………someone hold me………………….
Sistah looking like she gonna barf!
The funny thing about this “douche bag” is that he is one of the kindest people alive today, but none of you take the time to know this. He probably helped get those women into shape, you know, because he is a personal trainer as well as a very successful musician. What have any of you done to better your lives, you know, besides making a website dedicated to putting down other people you know absolutely nothing about. The real douche bag reward belongs to every single one of you on account of being jealous twats.
GAAAAAAH!!
Make it stop!!!!!!!!!
Could “Luna” be Poopaloompa’s pseudonym?
I can’t imagine anyone else within 1M light years actually defending this plastic creature.
Hey Luna, baby doll. I don’t know. That’s pre plastic surgery Tara Reid on Poompa Personal Trainer’s right. She’s looking pretty hot there. As opposed to now. Who do you think recommended all that plastic surgery to her…that’s right toots….none other than that greaseball you’re sticking up for.
All of my facts have been double checked! (Divided by 0). Son,
Sorry, our right Poompas left. I was held back in preschool. Twice.
He might be a great guy but he looks like a dipshit.
He might be a great guy who looks like he was dipped in shit, but . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ah, what was I saying?
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And why’s my high school math teacher in the picture.
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I think Luna’s question is, does that look say magnanimous?
Poopaloompa’s the first name, last name?
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Poopaloompa Cuntwhistle
Poopaloompa Grizzlechomp
Poopaloompa Moustakas
Neil Poopaloompa Harris
Meta World Poopaloompa
Why is it that when I look at Poompaloompa I feel like I’m gazing at medical waste?
Am I the only one “reading between the lines” of “Luna’s” post here:
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“The funny thing about this “douche bag” is that he is one of the kindest people alive today, but none of you take the time to know this.”
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I met him at a skanky club a couple of weeks ago and he game me my first hit of meth. For free! Well, that is if you don’t count me having to swallow all two inches of him
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“He probably helped get those women into shape, you know, because he is a personal trainer as well as a very successful musician.”
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He only has top quality meth on him at all times. I haven’t eaten in a week and I feel fine. I’ve even lost 20 lbs because of it! That were fat jump off whobags that would hang around backstage trying to get him to notice them. Well they did and no longer have to live in the trailer park.
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“What have any of you done to better your lives, you know, besides making a website dedicated to putting down other people you know absolutely nothing about.”
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He’s like, so totally awesome because of his oompaloompaness that none of you can compare. He knows THREE WHOLE CORDS and can lift like 100 lbs above his head in one try. So take that losers.
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EDIT: on a personal note I’m going to play the raging asshole card right now.
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Oh Luna you poor misguided moron. I could learn to do whatever it is that you do in a month or less but I could give you a lifetime and you still couldn’t get through one day of my job. I mold and shape young minds in the ways of quantum mechanics (look it up, I’ll wait) and other esoteric subjects. If you can do that, lemme know and we’ll talk. In the meantime, STFU.
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“The real douche bag reward belongs to every single one of you on account of being jealous twats.”
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But he’s so cool. He told me that I’m the prettiest and we’ll be together forever so you’re all jelly. And stuff. So there.
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EDIT: I like twats. Just not the kind that you or him are.
Those chick’s bodies are the result of genetics, mild bulimia, and methamphetamine addiction, not a “personal trainer.”
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Labeling someone as a “personal trainer” does not help the argument against his douche status. So-called “personal trainers” exploit the existential angst and emotional weakness prevalent in western culture.
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What, they can’t climb on a fucking Nordic track without some asshole stroking them with insincere compliments and paid-for encouragement?
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After the birth of her second child the wife of a close friend, (we’ll call her Patty) gained some weight and was suffering from post-partum depression. Her husband, it seems, had become distant, emotionally disconnected and would only fuck her from the rear, rendering her feeling “not so pretty.” In an effort to lose weight and gain self-esteem “Patty” started seeing a personal trainer.
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Unlike her husband, the trainer was gentle, supportive and very attentive. After several weeks and some mutual flirting, he banged her in the back seat of her Hyundai Sonata. This physical relationship escalated and very quickly blossomed into a torrid affair complete with rough sex and beach towels. One time, during a particularly robust session of lovemaking on the gym floor “Patty” sharply bumped her hand on the Nautilus machine.
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The injury seemed innocuous, but was painful, and soon her hand became bruised and quite swollen. Healing was very slow, and in fact the swelling and discoloration seemed to be increasing, prompting her to visit a doctor. The diagnosis was severe strep infection which resulted in the eventual amputation of her right hand.
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After crushing medical bills and her confession to the affair, “Patty’s” husband left her for a Hungarian pole dancer who performed on stage with military-grade pepper spray and one of those red white and blue ABA basketballs.
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Patty, once a successful upper middle-class soccer mom is now the only one-handed Taco Bell™ shift manager in the Midwest.
Youse guys have the best stories…
Nikki Sixx glory holed an orange and well this is where we are at present day.
Dragon Ball Z called, they want their look back.
^Fucccin salty tears Hermit.
^The pole dancer shoots jive-coloured balls out of her baby bazooka with pepper spray????.
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I just bought 46 copies of DB1’s book for less than a dollar on Amazon. One cent? You gonna be needing more cabbage for the Bat Mitzvah. Son.
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My shitty She-Jews spend so much fucking money on the fucking horsey riding, and the fucking dancing, and fucking the swimming. All fucking competitive and shit. Not enough that they get four weeks of skiing with me. I’m working till I die, Sons. Mensch. They never use the bikes and boards I get them. Fukkers. I’m not the fuccking Rothschilds over here. Fuck!
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Who am I that I should have let this happen. Is this not a mitzvah in itself, this doing of the spoiling of the kinder?
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If chametz falls in the forest, is it Golem kosher? I had sore balls a few weeks ago. Thought it might have been ball cancer but it was just rough old goyim mistress chafe.
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Sanders
“Paperbacks starting at $0.01”
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But if you have a first printing hard cover coffee table edition it’s worth much more.
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And true, even if DB1 sold a single copy at that price he’s made .01 more than I’ll ever make selling a book.
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#Stoned lives matter.
I got my hardcover copy of HCWDB sitting on my shelf of essential reading, along with:
AMERICA – THE BOOK
EARTH – THE BOOK
I AM AMERICA, AND SO CAN YOU
IMPRESSIONIST MASTERS
MEASURING THE UNIVERSE
GOD, A BIOGRAPHY
I think DB1 is wealthy beyond his mothers wildest expectations after he chose the road less travelled from dental school.
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I am only wealthy in weed and ski cash. I got the old Escalade set up as a plow for my lane now. Fucking dead Jerry Garcia. The jews control my finances and media choices. Get it?
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In the morrow, the socialist narcissist spawn of a Napoleon -complexed dead leader will begin his rule of tyranny against the older white folk of my corner of rural Canada. So close to the US. So short of the $500,000 I need to get a working permit in Vermont to flee the everyday and sell mountain toffee.
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Fuck you Trudeau you little fagboy! A
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And fuck you all. Sons. And shit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1UujH1v6WU
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#Stonedlivesmatter
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Respect. Stoooooooooooooooooooooooooooned. Fuck I grow the wildest shit with Lenny’s clones. We have a little industrial thing ready to go with the the new Pres and shit. You dudes need my weed so you can see the TRUTH!
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RIP-Doc Bunsen
(He was a tortured soul, Son!)
But he dealt with it.
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Accidental Haiku^^^^^^^WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STONED.!!
And FUCK YOU LUNA YOU FUCKING CUNT!
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LEAVE THE FIFTEEN OF US STILL ALIVE PREPARE FOR WAR. AS THE SCRIPTURE TOLD. WE MUST CLEAN THE HOUSE OF CHAMETZ AND DRINK WITH THE KINDER. GOLEM FUCKERS. FUCKING COCKSUCKDR FUCKER ARE GOING BERZERK IN MY HEAD, TRYING TO BREAK OUT OF THIS SHELL OF FACADE I PUT ON IN THE EVEFYDAY. DOOMES. DRUNK. DIED.
Stoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooend on Nature’s Flora (repect) and post Viagra flushing.
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The end is nigh my friends. Obama’s third term will open the Seventh Seal (repsect). Stoooned. Fingers not working as ususal. All these new late night TV guys suck big orange balls.
Rev, my hometown of Jerkwater, IN is a sanctuary city, (I think) so you’re welcome here when you and your Jews need to flee SSIC. (Socialist State in Canada)
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#stonedlivesmatter #free the Rev #fuckalgoresinternet #fuckyouall
I trained one of my barn cats to shit on my neighbours lawn.
Reverend,
If you REALLY wanna piss off your neighbour, train your cat to pee on his door.
Hey, does N E 1 knoa how I can change my avatar? It’s not nearly stupid and douchey enough.
Geez, a guy goes on a 4-5 day masturbatory bender and see what he misses?!? Masturbatory Frenzy, I says.
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And if by, “helped these women get into shape,” he means “plied with cocaine and laxatives,” I wholeheartedly agree! Plied, I says.
Meh. I’ve taken on other endeavors.
Like Fidel Castro, this site is too evil to die.
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Until the United States fully adopts the metric system I intend to fully disassociate myself from all aspects of the Federal Government. I will flatly refuse to pay all federal taxes, fees or highway tolls and will mail all correspondence without the benefit of postage stamps. I will cease my morning recital of the “Pledge of Allegiance” and will no longer participate in any patriotic holidays, with the exception of Rosh Hashanah.
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Consider this a fair warning Washington, you have four weeks.
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While on the subject, did you ever notice that if sideline reporter Pam Oliver had a neck beard she would be indistinguishable from LeBron James?
I foreseen in my enchanted grove the visions that they become true. Liberal agenda to hobble the able, and tutor the dim, so we all may meet in the middle. Stunted as a species, the white Christian male is under assault from all factions. The arabs will overtake us because THE JEWS were suppose to have smate or smitted the philistines a scant less than 6000 years ago. My bros the Crusaders (respect) fucked up too.
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“From each according to his ability and to each according to his need” Fucking leeches. that’s fucking bullshit yo. The trek to Vermont lends discover to a loophole in the fast track economic immigrant shit they got. If you sneak in, you get in free if you never get caught by the popo.
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Age and despondent ways lead me heavy into the drink and the drug again. Fucking jobs suck. So does school with my shrinking brain and prostate, fuck
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Obama and Trudeau
Up in a tree, SUCKING EACXH OTHERS FAT METROSEXUAK COCCKS
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FUCKING SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIORS AND FUCKERS HERE ARE FAST TRACKING TRANNY SURGERIES. CAROUSEL WILL GET ME SOOn. Millenials will turn me into Soylent Green, like a Dark Sock shit, and eat me on plain saltines like so many teenage gash. We all wonder about the most important questions. Not of our own mortality, but for the children who will be forced to eat their parents anus meat crackers.
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Been wondering about things. New world order distracting the dim while the able are hobbled by taxes for being better than some. Rewarded to pursue his self-interest, the mans rights owned by the State. And sometimes I peer off in my own little world and think, who is John Galt. Stoooooooooooooooooned on the new weed, just like the old weed.
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I shared Jacques story among all of my 79 facebook friend.
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anus meat crackers, Son.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1517093858616137&set=gm.10153248086210866&type=3&theater
“So short of the $500,000 I need to get a working permit in Vermont to flee the everyday and sell mountain toffee.”
@Rev
If $500,000 is all you need then I’m in for about $75 give or take a couple dollars. What I’m thinking is I’ll start a GoFundMe campaign on the interwebz, name it “Free Rev Chad” or some shit like that. Once that is taken care of I’ll meet you at the border and we can head down to Mad River Glen to get our ski/snowboard on, smoke weed in the woods on the side of the trails and drink wine out of an old leather wine pouch. From there we can then head further south to the Wobbly Barn at Killington. Lots of naughty snow bunnies, from Connecticut and NY clinging to their fading youth, looking to be had and by had I mean semi-aggressive doggy in the mud room of their husbands/ex-husbands kick ass A-Frame. I think you’d like it plus Vermont has really good Maple Syrup not sure if you’re familiar with that but it’s good stuff so is the Sharp Cheddar.
^ Anyone else wants to join in you’re more then welcome
Anus Meat Crackers and Chewers of Porch Beef:
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The nearly departed Doc Bunsen won teh interwebs of my belated last week’s Fraiku with his postus o’ da mostus…for which I present him with the mighty Easter Egg Pear which he gave me, what he’s already seen…dem’s da breaks…
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http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/05/fraiku-doc-bunsen-commemorative-edition/
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/05/fraiku-november-reign-edition/
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Does anybody get to 2005 from here, or am I just “bicycling”???
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http://rubberburner.dodonetwork.net/
Et Tu,
Been to Vermont a number of times. Agreed – there’s good things about the place. Can’t say I can handle it too well during the winter, though. Burlington in November thru March seems more a place for woolly mammoths and wolves 6′ at the shoulder than for homo sapiens.
Oh, and if I ever hear someone say again “yup, I have a spread with the nearest neighbor over 5 miles away, and there’s a combine in my barn!”, I’ll eat dynamite.
DarkSock, your posts here are my keys to the portal.
People say I remind them of this guy.
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Here’s one that will warm up The Rev.
OK, now this hit’s just gotten too rela
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http://www.cnn.com/2015/11/10/living/clip-on-man-bun-irpt/index.html
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EDIT BY DARKSOKK:
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/linkin.jpg
I’m not going to conform today. Free due to the good white Christian men before us fighting the filthy Japs and Huns. I’m going to go outside and blow off a few shells at some deer and play war games stoned with the kids. Respect to the vets.
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The Third Greatest Generation.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAx_vDlgyXk
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ll89_jHpEWs
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And chill Sons. A Spirit told me everything is going to get better. Smoke some weed, have a few dozen drinks, and it all hazes over and shit. Glad you still alive Doc B. I thought you went away with BCS and Pumpy. Peace and light!
A bearded hipster…
Poontang on the handlebars…
Curry’s “bicycling”??!!?11!!?>=??
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Alert Readers: please explain….caption this in Haiku form, way back in May 12, 2005….
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http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/05/fraiku-poo-4-u/
Also, this:
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Bad lip reading, Republican Debate:
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https://youtu.be/ufGlBv8Z3NU
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Bad lip reading, Democratic Debate:
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https://youtu.be/V_yxGsWHx9o
^ I have a parrot that doesn’t drink.
“You made the recipe…then you invented Dirt Love”
May I be the first on this thread to call ISIS cunts.
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I’m going to buy an Eagles of Death Metal album to support them.
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They really, REALLY suck.
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But it’s about sending a message.
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But they really really suck.
ISIS Olestra;
Shit bomb goes off in burka.
Smells about the same.
ISIS – a nasty
Boil on the ass of Man
Go away, shitheads
Wonder if the frogs will really undouche themselves and act like men after what happened.
Here’s hoping they do:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4K1q9Ntcr5g
p.s. ISIS is NOT a CIA invention. Nor is it Iranian.
It is supplied funding, manpower, training and logistics by…
The
House
Of
Saud.
You heard it here first.
I’m not very good at that there arithmetic.
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But my my calculations, if>Refugees=Mooslems: then by the law of inverse angles Mooslems=Terrorists> and therefore Refugees=terrorists. The law of concavity and the theorem of existentialism leads to the conclusion of Malthus that refugees will call my daughters whores and perhaps rape them. The only solution to the problem is to posit another question to the Mooslems. “IS IT SAFE”. The answer to this question will be coerced by waterboarding and this:
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We need the French. Without the French, we wouldn’t have the word for douche.
OMG………The Dude is correct.
Without France, the very essence of mockage is fatally undermined!
For the sake of the future of humanity, we must help the Frogs recapture the spirit of The Marsellaise, Charles Martel & brethren.
In return for our help, though, the Frogs owe us all females of this quality:
https://actressportal.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/melissa-theuriau-presenter-tv-beauty-2006.jpg
I’d be happy with a french dolphin.
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https://www.facebook.com/GatlinBrothers/videos/10153171635541835/
http://cbsnews.com.co/christian-anti-masturbations-mascot-arrested/
Bomb ISIS back to
stone age. Oh wait, they never
even got past it.
Fucking europenis getting softer as old Father Time (fuck you) rolls on. Filthy Muslims buying Dollar Store passports as Germany prepares for the Third Reich (Caliphate Edition). I was reminded of the past, and the Eurobags and this:
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“Like the festering drippings of summer sausage from Angela Merkel’s soiled panties while she is called again to Brussels to save the PIGS at a luncheon of ouzo-swilling octopus-eating pantywastes. Or the soul-numbing techno beat pounding at a corner pub of Chinese leather and chain wearing zombies reeking of limberger and duck confit in Marseilles.”
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When do the Douchies start, and shit, Son?
In other news, here’s a collection of liberryan hotts:
http://thechive.com/2015/11/15/sometimes-four-eyes-are-better-than-two-40-photos-4/
Rev, is this you?
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https://www.rt.com/news/322570-canada-mask-kill-muslims/
^^^^^^^^^^^^No DW. I have learned through the grapevine, however, that there are 500 Mooslems from over there coming within 2 km of the grove in three months. They will be staying at the under-utilized residence wing of an air-traffic
control school. What could go wrong?
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I fully support my white-guilt feigning, elitist leader who must know best because he poses for selfies and used to be a community organizer. I am taking all measures to disarm, leave my doors open, and accept my new friends. And by disarm, I mean a moat of bamboo-spiked pits tipped with blowfish venom.
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http://www.therebel.media/paris_needs_a_slap_in_the_face
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Some of you may appreciate this, Anglos.
^ You look good in a cowboy hat Rev.
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Holy shit, you guys are still here?
Holy shit, I’m still here, too.
Ahhh, there we go. It’s all coming back to me now.
And I see I’m back just in time for the Uprising/WWIII/Shitpocalypse. Well, it’s about Goddamned time. I’ve been over here rubbing a closet full of AR-15s with bacon grease and learning how to say “Suck my gonorrhea, Achmed” in perfect Syrian. ‘Cause those bearded goatfuckers are the biggest douchebags of them all.
Waaaay back in May 12, 2005, Jacques D won teh interwebz. It was a hard choice. But he won the Easter Egg of TurdThong Pear.
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http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/05/fraiku-poo-4-u/
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Who is this Medusa Oblongata? Rings a bell….
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Pfah? Doc?
Take the WayBack machine, to this poolbaggery from May 13, 2005.
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There are no words.
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So write some…in Haiku form:
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http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2005/05/friday-haiku-366/
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M.O. – you gots to go back to go forward. Just….go with it.
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I shall be out next week, visiting the little socks across the country in Sac, so the next update may be belated. Unless I can figger out how to do it on me phone, as I sit stranded in an airport.
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Son.
Fear Medusa !
And this
Medusa is Sarah Connor?
^ No. Sarah Conner is Medusa.
^Come to think about it Chuck, I’ve never seen them in the same room together.
<a href=http://41.media.tumblr.com/8f666fd5b6d6c2192487ccace25f92e1/tumblr_ny68u0pIME1qkeluno1_540.jpg
http://41.media.tumblr.com/8f666fd5b6d6c2192487ccace25f92e1/tumblr_ny68u0pIME1qkeluno1_540.jpg
Wow. You’re all still here. Cool. And so is the Poompaloompa.
But you’ve also never seen me and Donkey Douche in the same room together, so….
It was in fact DD’s greasy memory that brought me back here. I had the misfortune of tooling around Downers Grove not long ago, and every time I do, the little Beavis and Butt-head in the back of my brain go “Huh huh. Donkey Douche”. This time I began to wonder if you all were still kicking about in the ether and here you are. Old mockers never die, they just ferment.
I know this guy. His name’s Charles, and he’s the singer for a band called Seraphim Shock. Yeah, he’s in incredible shape, and yeah, he looks pretty silly, but it’s all for Rock n Roll. I play in a band and have done shows with Seraphim Shock, and he really is a nice guy. I’m just a lanky idiot and he wouldn’t have any reason to be cool to me, but he was, and I didn’t get “douchebag” off him at all beyond his gaudy makeup and hair.
http://blinddragonmetalart.tumblr.com/image/139425126495
2distasteful