Friday Thoughts and Links

I shudder to think of what Tourniquet Pumpkin bought at Victoria’s Secret. That store should seriously stop clothes at a wimmin’s size 6 (if you’re married you probably know what that means. Over that size most chicks are, well, lookin’ like Tourniquet Pumpkin).

FUCCK, my eyes!

2:28 pm April, 4 Et Tu Douche? said...

Mmmmm………………..Squeaky Clean Pear.

Stereo Abs’ dad must be a wreck having twins running around looking that hot.

3:04 pm April, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I don’t always plank. But when I do, I’m sleeping on the couch.

3:43 pm April, 4 Vin Douchal said...

Darksock, Jr?

3:57 pm April, 4 Et Tu Douche? said...

^@Vin D, That was great I’m still chuckling. GO B’s!!!!

5:38 pm April, 4 DarkSock said...

@ Vin:

IT MUST EAT GRAIN

5:39 pm April, 4 DarkSock said...

Regarding the front page photo Vin D so graciously provided:

That Gene Shalit sure can pull some sternum pumpkins.

7:51 pm April, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The sullen sounds of rain bring hope that the winter of my dystemper comes closer to end. As we all see the divinity of springs eternal renewal. Our spirits in cosmic giddyness doth reign in with a monotonous langour of the boundless multiverse in our minds eye. To decree that the we break our fast on honeysdew and drink the milk of paradise. The G-d in all of us follows that street not taken and shit. Little girls grow boobies and the Mons (respect) begins to flower into summer’s fertility. Like electrons attaching to dangling bonds of free radicals does the Tebus future take hold. Son.

These guys wanted to come by and congratulate youse retards on keeping on, keeping on.

10:00 pm April, 4 DarkSock said...

*tap* *tap* Is this thing on?

8:41 am April, 5 hermit said...

Don’t mess with the XANAX<sup®, son. An unlimited, free, illicit supply had me breaking off chunks for kicks. I didn’t know that shit rearranges your brain cells. It leaves the system in 2-3 days, but leaves the residual living room furniture in the utility room and the futon somewhere on the back porch, like a fucked up computer virus. Quit cold turkey. Now, I can’t sleep, tremors, vile hallucinations and twitching diarrhea. Worse, the short term memory is shot to hell. What?

I do, remember the eighties.

8:42 am April, 5 hermit said...

shit

8:51 am April, 5 Dickie Fingers said...

Sock Jr. has a very bright future in front of him.

9:34 am April, 5 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Hermit

You don’t go off benzos cold, Son. That can kill you. My early days of HCwDB were when I found the site during aimless, pacing, sleepless, shaky, hallucinating, nausea filled nights. It’s called Benzodiazapine Withdrawal Syndrome Son. Soon you will develop tinnitus, vertigo, sensitivity to light and more. The seizures get really fun after a few weeks. The screaming at strangers is kinda fun too. Get back on something from a doctor or dealer and wean off slowly. But I’ll give you a list of things that help in the meantime to save you trouble.

1. High doses of Booze during the day.

2. High doses of NyQuil.

3. Weed to top up the NyQuil.

GABA, melatonin, St. John’s wart, green tea? None of that shit works. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

Your memory and nerves will come back after intensive

Vitamin B therapy after you recover.

Here’s something to help calm you down.

9:50 am April, 5 Dickie Fingers said...

That is some very sound advice, especially the Nyquil.

4:23 pm April, 6 Douchesdownunder said...

Sternum pumpkins…. you guys crack me up.

Mighty tasteee, though.

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