Miami
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Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Spray-Z Is a Giant Ball of She-Leech
And if you have to ask what a Giant Ball of She-Leech is, I point you no further then the Turtle Leeches of Mexico.
Okay, so I got a late start on updating the site today. I was out all night doing crazzzzy things. Like what? Like… uhm… okay. This.
Cuz I’m crazy like that.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014Drunk Al Goes "Garrrrr!" on Quartasian Mina
“Garrrrr!”
When “I like your boobies!” is too difficult to pronounce.
Thursday, October 3, 2013Che Douchevara
One of the central components of ‘Bag Culture is the cooption of the authentic in service of the market economy.
Postmodern images shorn of the originary context and employed in service of ironic bottle-service distancing leads only to primordial cries of “Woo!” that reject the very premise of language as a tool of liberation.
And so we see Che.
Revolutionary Che.
In the dance club.
And so it goes in the neo-neo-Marxian dance floor circus. Po-tee-weet.
Monday, May 6, 2013Silver Harold's Night Out
Champagne and blow may be one way to bring in the Party Woo Hotts of Miami Beach.
But champagne and blow don’t got nuthin’ on Silver Harold’s eyebrow dye.
Thursday, February 14, 2013Howlin' Woof
Stupid necklaces at the beach, kids.
It may not be puka shell.
But it smells just as stenchuously like the Coney Island Whitefish that wash ashore Miami Beach after high tide on a Thursday.
Giggle Gina’s heaving bosoms are crushed beneath the cultural taint.
Monday, January 28, 2013Meaty the Sandcrab Makes a Wish, Becomes a Douchebag, Finds Kelly
…and they lived happily after after.
Or at least until the magic Bacardi ran out, the parking tickets turned into a summons, and the groin rash turned a disturbing shade of purple.
All this, and more! In the long-lost unabridged Aesop’s Fable, “Meaty the Sandcrab And The Magic Lip Herp.”
Monday, November 26, 2012Benzino and Rich Girl Rachel are Not Impressed by the HCwDB of the Week
Time to pump it out.
Thursday, November 15, 2012Mongor Not Like Brussell Sprouts
Mongor.
Emotionally dead to the world since 2006.
Sophie Pillowbottom. All that is righteous in Guadalcanal.
Thursday, October 4, 2012Toxic Soup
A water sample sent to the CDC on 10/02/2012 reported back the following:
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Water — 38%
DNA — 11%
Puke — 9%
Poo — 8%
Saliva — 7%
Reproductive body fluids – 6%
Body fluids with the herp – 6%
Body hair — 5%
Jack Daniels – 3%
Cheap-ass Beer — 2.5%
Bits of hair grease –2.1%
Assorted sundry butt flecks — 0.9%
A rubber frog – 0.7%
The last shred of Cathy’s dignity — 0.1%
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Thursday, September 20, 2012Yankee McSpankee wants Andrea to Yankee his McWankee
That’s nothing, wait’ll he shows her his A-Rod.
Aaaaand, Yankee jokes for the loss.
