Putz
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Monday, February 3, 2014
Melvin and Kate Were Bored by The Superbowl
On the douchey side, Melvin’s stupidface rivals the Manning Face.
On the hott side, Kate is all sorts of sweet whimsy wasting her affections on a total tool.
In other news, the death of Philip Seymour Hoffman is relentlessly depressing and pointless, while the revival of the Woody Allen nonsense suggests a nation with too much time on our hands.
F@ck it, Dude. Lets go bowling.
Thursday, January 30, 2014Lester Bothers His Sister's Best Friend Kimberly
Lester was not invited to his sister’s pre-med study pizza party.
But Lester done rolled up his sleeves.
And Lester gon’ leave his mark.
And by mark, I mean awkward falsetto queries of “what’s your major?” followed by a steadfast refusal to fix the blinds no matter how many times Kimberly points at them.
Monday, January 27, 2014Doug Gets Crazy With Paola In Brazil
Is this the one where Doug winds up with a missing kidney or the one where Prince Harry fondles a Nazi real doll?
I always get my urban legends confused.
Wednesday, December 18, 2013James Franco Plays a Douchebag in a Movie, Lobbies for an Academy Award
The circle of self-reflexive performance art douchebaggery is almost complete.
Hollywood lightweight James Franco is doing his best to lobby for an Academy Award nomination for playing longtime HCwDB nemesis Riff Raff in a movie directed by that kid who wrote Kids.
A movie so beholden to douche mock, it even featured cameos by the douche twins from Atlanta whose name on the site I have blocked from my conscience.
I ranted on this once already, so I will spare you my anti-bromides a second time.
Howver, ironic douchebaggery as performance based on ironic douchebaggery as lifestyle continues to perform the paradoxical stais of life in our funhouse hall of mirrors post-spectacle intertextual media landscape.
Or, to put it even more succinctly, Menomena.
Thursday, December 12, 2013Flashback: The Jerz in 2006
Ah yes.
2006.
When hottie/douchey cohabit was in its purest state of cluelessness and HCwDB was just ramping up.
I recall the days of tracksuits and hair crust fondly. Like a pimple on my nethers.
Monday, December 9, 2013Donkey Douche: Still Tryin' to Scratch that itch
DarkSock here, whilst The Boss is skeet-skeeting acrost us in the friendly skies above, noting that famed douche lightning rod Donkey D is trying to figure out how many fingers it will take to scratch this poison ivy rash he’s come across. Or hopes to, later.
Your comments, as always, are appreciated. Son.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013The Suburban Hustler
70 Degree Hat Tilt is all Kevin needs the ladies to know about how cray cray he is.
Sexy Minka’s plunging neckline plays lutes in a harmonic key.
Meanwhile, your humble narrator flicks lint on the floor and grumbles about the familial responsibilities of a combo Thanksgiving/Hannukah. It’s like exponential dysfunction. Served with cranberry sauce.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013Conservative Bob Cuts Loose on a Tuesday
Because we all need to indulge our fetishes sooner or later.
Thursday, November 21, 2013JB Sings Limp Bizkit Covers at Karaoke Tuesday
Chiquita Vanessa, a quality selection of quality suckle bobble, is unamused by JB’s choice of life-preserver wearing antics.
Monday, November 18, 2013Riddle Me This!…
What has red hair, looks like the 1980s coughed up a hair metal ball, and hangs with Elvira’s less famous cousin, Dwarfvira?
Tune in next week!
Same butt time!…
Same butt channel!…
Butt.
Instead of bat.
You get it.
