Goose Runner

    Monday, October 14, 2013

    Whipple The Pinturd Gets Mommy's Credit Card, Buys Sophie and Vegana a Bottle of Goose

    11

    And the whole thing ended up in an Albuquerque truck stop with required testing for all.

    Yup, it’s your Humb Narrs, coffee in hand, on this Monday morning in the City of Angels. I Wish I could deliver this text in the morning radio voice of either the great Johnny Fever or that sappy Harry Chapin song.

    Unfortunately I can’t deliver text in any voice.

    As Derrida explained, we often conflate the written and the verbal forms of communication but they are entirely distinct spheres of knowledge.

    And by knowledge, I mean knowledge.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, September 26, 2013

    Herbie Saves Up For a Month, Then Runs With The Goose

    bitter goose face

    I gotta give it up to Herbie.

    Sometimes ya just gotta save up as much as you can from your day job as a manager at Rusty’s Linoleum and Floor Tiling and blow it all on a night of overpriced bottle service and temporary cohabit with hotties who will forget your name before they order their next Appletini.

    I feels ya, Herbie.

    I feels ya.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, August 22, 2013

    MackleDouche

    damn that's a cold ass donkey

    Damn, that’s a cold-ass Douchie.

    Also, apropos of nothing:

    Lotta people talkin’, but few of them know; big legged woman ain’t got no soul.

    Discuss.

    # posted by Bagnonymous
    Wednesday, June 19, 2013

    Roland The Douchey Thompson Gunner

    13

    Bottle of Bubbly: $1200

    Reserved booth at trendy Vegas Strip: $1500

    Groin itch to last a lifetime: Priceless

    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, May 28, 2013

    Ming the Christianless

    42

    Jesus bling, black pajamas, and Napoleon Complex make Ming a dull boy.

    Curvy Katie dolls herself up for a night out after nursing school. And then chooses very poorly.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, April 15, 2013

    Like Hand Gestures For Hot Chicks

    photo (10)

    Got a lotta posts in the post-hamper ready for a week of mock here at the ole’ HCwDB, your friend through good times and extended economic recessions.

    Like this one. Snarl Stu runs with the Goose with proverbial post-recession posthaste postulation.

    Posthumously.

    Markie Post.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, March 4, 2013

    A Whole Bunch of Stupid People Doing Nothing Interesting, So I just Peed on a Ferret

    457376_236019269840388_633122897_o

    Sometimes, when life throws you a skull shirt, it’s time to pee on a ferret.

    Although Lana’s golden legs are suckle hint of hopeful de-pee.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, November 1, 2012

    Reader Mail: Reader Tim Tagged Benzino

    Credit where credit is due:

    —————-

    DB1,

    If one thing is for sure it is the fact I can always tell when I see someone and instantly hate their guts without having ever interacted with them. This is a case of that… Meet “The Benzbag” one of the most diabolical douchebags in the game!

    I believe he has been on the site before, if you’ll note the image of the violation of that innocent pear with his sloth like hook hands should be familiar. This clown is the Ernst Stavro Blofeld of douchery! Another Las Vegas club wanker who bills himself as VIP host/personality despite the illusion of living the life of luxury. I think we’re dealing with a $30,000/year millionaire who is up to his eyeballs in debt to keep up appearances.

    You will see he associates with a who’s who of douche offenders, Craig Golias aka Peter Pumpinhead, Sunday movie semi regular/idiot wigger Riff Raff, Tatted freak/micro penis sufferer/young and reckless spokes douche Scott Sparks and I believe a picture of him with King Douchius.

    Along with that the rest of the atrocity reads like the “Anarchists Cookbook” for practicing douchery, carrying designer murses, having your eyebrows threaded, having your douchey ass facial hair pruned with a straight razor, pretending you’re an MMA fighter and an overload of assholery, douchery and general shit headed behavior.

    – Tim

    ————–

    Well tagged tim. This Vegasian poo is a strong contender at the 2012 Douchie Awards.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, October 31, 2012

    Benzino Mocks you with Mongor Like Stare

    Chloe’s belly pooch is made more charming by her shy insecurities over her nose. Rachel parties hard, man. She parties hard.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, October 30, 2012

    Benzino the Benzbag Greases Soho Sophia

    Benzino is a creepy hemorrhoidal taint that has been infecting hotts on the site in various forms for many a moon. Benzino made his inglorious debut back in March in The Unholy Pear Fondle.

    Now factor in this greasing of Soho Sophia and it is a bridge too far. This aggression will not stand, man.

    For the Benzino is quite the curious douchal legend in the making. Witness the taint-by-association with various other douchal legends:

    Benzino with Peter Pumpin’head

    Benzino with Riff Raff

    Benzino with The King and Various Vegas Woo Hotts

    Yowza. That’s a serious douche run. And with plenty of hott chicks to warrant full HCwDB mock.

    Is Benzino a late contender for the Yearly?

    # posted by douchebag1
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