Library Hott

    Friday, September 18, 2015

    And then this happened…

    Glambag

    So what if the ghost of David Bowie masticated on the corporeal remains of a sunburned Axl Rose and pooped out two Gary Glitters and a Gary Busey?

    This is the what.

    This is that poop.

    Retro Glam Gwynneth deserves better.

    If for no other reason than the five year Sarah Lawrence reunion is coming up and there is no way she is showing up to that beer hall in Brooklyn with this bloated toothpaste tube of Aqua Stale. What would Ashley think?

    On a related note, if you miss my musings, you can check out a side project Facebook page I just started up, Cockroaches of New York. It’s just like the award winning Humans of New York. But with cockroaches.

    # posted by admin
    Thursday, January 2, 2014

    Herpster Frank is Not Really a Hustler

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    It is, how the kids say, ironical.

    Librarian Patricia is stern in her warnings to me not to extend my allotted time at the microfiche machine. I apologize, but her disciplinarian stance requires me to shine her boots using ony a nearby dishrag and a gallon of egg whites. I apologize profusely. But Patricia is not moved. And so I whimper softly in the 600.00-600.75 section. Which covers technology.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, December 19, 2013

    Herspter Logan Is Way In Over His Head

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    Oh Giggle Blonde Ashley.

    How sweet and innocent your anklet jangles.

    On pretty little feet that would make a 19th Century Japanese concubine weep for the many hours of bindings that could have been avoided if only if.

    I lightly powder your lower to mid thigh section with Stevia mixed with bacon juice, and then line up a hundred hungly wolves bribed only with Snuasages to howl in four part harmony as I help you with routine garden work until you grow uncomfortable and tell me your boyfriend will be home soon and reject my repeated offers to run to CostCo and buy you a crate full of Pepsi.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, November 14, 2013

    The Masked Hairchoad

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    Well this is a first.

    Of all the hottie/douchey club pics I’ve evaluated over all the years this site has existed, ne’er has I seen a choad blind himself with his lady’s hair.

    So ya got that going for ya, Chet.

    Now where’s my package of HoHos? The baby is asleep. Time to gorge on tasty chemical product.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, October 8, 2013

    The Scarfophagus Scores Way Out of His Pay Grade

    strangle all scarf douches

    Hamster Hott Jenny is that odd mix of sexy suckle chomp and slightly odd looking overbite. She resembles classic 1980s bitchy-hott Valley Girl ethos in all its most carnal manifestations. And for that, her cleavite is to be enshrined and applauded by a roomful of applauding ferrets.

    The Scarfophagus wears a thin scarf, and for that, deserves nothing but collective spittle poo poo diaper.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, September 21, 2010

    JaBooty

    JaBooty wanted to take time out of proving his hip-hop bonafides to Carly and Kimmy at the Back to School party at Wellesley College to address all of us.

    What did you want to say, JaBooty?

    JaBooty: Y’all keep talkin’ smack, yo! Ya know, I mays not have any of that fancy stuff like a “college degree,” or “income,” or a “job,” or a fully functioning cerebral cortex. But I got somethin’ ways betts!

    What’s that, JaBooty?

    JaBooty: I gots inner peace! And a Tootsie pop for lates when I get hungry walkin’ home. Stupid bus fare increase.

    Anything else you’d like to tell the readers of HCwDB, JaBooty?

    JaBooty: Y’all ain’t got nothin’ on me! I’m like King Kong! King Kong ain’t got nothin’ on me! I saw that in a movie once.

    Was it “Training Day”?

    JaBooty: Naw, it was some porno. Hey, you got any potato chips?

    Not right now.

    JaBooty: I likes potato chips.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, September 14, 2010

    Library Hott Break

    Because sometimes we need to take a break from all the ‘bag mocking/hot lusting in combo and just celebrate the mostly fictional and supremely illogical possibility of a woman like this having read a lot of books.

    # posted by douchebag1