Oldbag

    Tuesday, November 19, 2013

    Old Guy Greg

    OldSlayer

    Old Guy Greg is half way there.

    Old Guy Greg is livin’ on a prayer.

    No, literally.

    He worked at the studio when they recorded that song. As the old guy.

    And to think, just last year Awkward Hott Kelly and the Barely Legal Sisters actually worked at the Legal Seafood in Chestnut Hill.

    Ironic, given the then-illegality of their haddock.

    You thought I was gonna say clams.

    Haddock.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, October 10, 2013

    When Tattbags Grow Old

    The ultimate babe magnet

    Suddenly the old man in the canoe looks very tired.

    Wait, what?

    I was referring to a tattoo of an old man in a canoe.

    What were you thinking?

    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, September 24, 2013

    Huey Loser and the News Gets Lucky

    MayorMcNews

    It’s like some generic lyrical pablum of 1950s-era retread doo-wop suddenly crystallized into literal form, put on some Drakkar Noir, and roofied Vanessa The Hottest Bartender on the South Side of Chicago.

    I want a new drug.

    One that’ll make me forget this clown ever existed.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, July 25, 2013

    Mister Tony Shows Off His Orange Package to the Real Housewives of Suburban Malaise

    photo (9)

    Yeah. This guy sucks.

    Lets move on.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, July 24, 2013

    Mister Tony Goes Pink with Taut Kelly

    photo (13)

    If you guessed there’d be more Mister Tony pics this week, you win!!

    Everybody’s a winner!!

    Have a kewpie doll!!

    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, July 22, 2013

    Mister Tony Goes Full Hippie

    photo (6)

    Never go full hippie.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, April 29, 2013

    Oldbag Tex Wildflower Lives on Borrowed Time

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    Tex Wildflower may have watched the railroads come in and take out the true spirit of the prairie, but he ain’t goin’ out without at least one more suckle fondle.

    And for that, we tip the bridge of our stetson and pour out a glass of some of that tasty Sioux City sarsaparilla in Tex’s honor.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, April 23, 2013

    Old Dudes with Cameras Oggle a Mocha Hott

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    In a related story, Kenny Rogers.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Friday, March 8, 2013

    Friday Haiku

    It's fallen and it can't get up...

    “Oh dear…” thought GrampBag,

    “I’m afraid it has fallen

    And it can’t get up”

    Denim mini skirt

    Tank top in Viagra blue.

    Jump starts Jasper’s heart.

    — Douche Wayne

    “Hey baby! Wanna

    Come back to my place and ride

    The hip replacement.

    — The Reverend Chad Kroeger

    Grandpa was charged with

    Assault with a dead weapon

    When Cops saw picture

    — DoucheyWallnuts

    The next morning, they

    mixed up his dentures and her

    diaphragm. Awkward!

    — Douche Wayne

    “This isn’t the man

    Who shot Liberty Vallance.”

    He smells burning toast.

    — The Reverend Chad Kroeger

    Gramps celebrates Loud !

    Learned he won Nigerian

    Lottery !! He’s Rich !!

    — Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt

    Grandpa busts a move

    Whilst he busts an artery

    And busts his last nut

    — DoucheyWallnuts

    # posted by Bagnonymous
    Friday, January 25, 2013

    Denim The Menace Brings the GILF

    Leathery Goodness

    Denim The Menace may be an Olde Bag, but dammit he’s got good tastes in experienced ladies.

    Some women age like fine wines. Sure, there are some that say certain ladies age like milk. Or bananas. But not these sultry cougars.

    During Year One of my Post-Divorce era, the ‘Sock has hooked up with several wonderful females. In particular, one was 15 years his junior and a total candidate for Victoria Secret’s catalogs. Okay, maybe Frederick’s of Hollywood. But still, young, taut, blonde and down for whatever. And while that fling was fun/stressful…the follow-up palate cleanser with a sultry cougar two decades older than my young playmate blew girly-girl out of the water. And by “water” I mean my lumpy king-size. And by “my lumpy king-size”…well, in this case I am actually talking ’bout my shite mattress that needs replacing.

    Should I be mocking silly-ass Denim, his sad soul-patch, and his male osteoporosis? Sure. But I am drawn instead to praise older lovers such as his fine two companions. They know who they are, and they know what they want. Go forth, Denim; pop your Viagra and do your best. And call a doctor if it lasts for more than four hours. Then call your buddies.

    And stay tuned after Friday Socks & Links for Pear.  All Weekend.

    Man your ‘bation stations!

    # posted by Bagnonymous
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