Friday, March 8, 2013
Friday Haiku
“Oh dear…” thought GrampBag,
“I’m afraid it has fallen
And it can’t get up”
Denim mini skirt
Tank top in Viagra blue.
Jump starts Jasper’s heart.
— Douche Wayne
“Hey baby! Wanna
Come back to my place and ride
The hip replacement.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Grandpa was charged with
Assault with a dead weapon
When Cops saw picture
— DoucheyWallnuts
The next morning, they
mixed up his dentures and her
diaphragm. Awkward!
— Douche Wayne
“This isn’t the man
Who shot Liberty Vallance.”
He smells burning toast.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Gramps celebrates Loud !
Learned he won Nigerian
Lottery !! He’s Rich !!
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Grandpa busts a move
Whilst he busts an artery
And busts his last nut
— DoucheyWallnuts
Denim mini skirt
Tank top in Viagra blue.
Jump starts Jasper’s heart.
Her perky breasts and
his saggy balls will not make
great bedfellows. Son.
Sandy shows surprise.
She said she would take his wood
He gave her the cane!
That’s not yellow dye!
He just pissed himself senseless
When Sandy rubbed him.
@ FDD
Its weird you called her “Sandy” because she actually looks like a girl I know named Sandy. Well played, sir.
Grandpa is horny
Any closer and he may get
Case of the “Clapper”.
His friends call him “He
Just Drinks Metamucil and
Bangs Bitches” Grandson.
He needs Cialis
Since the gyroscope was put
In his Monkey Hole.
“When nine hundred years
old you reach, look as good you
will not” said Yoda.
Grandpappy wristband
Could never resist the girls
At the Phish concert.
It put the saggy
Balls in the basket or it
Gets the hose. Old hose.
Well, at least he died
doing something he loved. Which
was grinding teen girls.
“Hey baby! Wanna
Come back to my place and ride
The hip replacement.
^*morning coffee shoots through nose*
Old dude’s thinking..”I
Wonder where Grandma hid the
Cock pump this time. Bitch.”
Back in my day
The back door meant the Outhouse
Not banging young ass
She said, “Just Tweet Me!”
She’s Medicare paid.
He gets renob memories.
We get a tax hose
“Doesn’t anybody
Put up railings anymore.”
He leans and falls in.
“I’ve got an extra
helmet for my Hoveround.”
Sandy hopped right on.
Grandpa screams as he
Shoots last load into diaper
Whilst he craps himself
When they told him to
“ride the train” he thought they meant
Union Pacific.
While he pokes her rear
She prepares to fellate the
Unseen Brent Largehands.
When they told him to
“slap dat ass” he thought they meant
get a mule moving.
Gramps feeds withered schwantz
Into Sandy’s Big Brown Eye
She thinks she sharted
While Gramp’s Bar Night’s swell,
It could be so much more fun.
Damn constipation!!
When they told him to
“bust a nut” he thought they meant
open a pecan.
As gramps climaxes
His dentures fall to the floor
Unbeknownst to Bleeth
When they told him to
“back it up” he thought they meant
reverse his Buick.
Next day he asks tax
Lawyer if there are any new
Young skank deductions.
Grandpa was charged with
Assault with a dead weapon
When Cops saw picture
“This isn’t the man
Who shot Liberty Vallance.”
He smells burning toast.
The next morning, they
mixed up his dentures and her
diaphragm. Awkward!
The last time Gramps went
Back door was at Speakeasy
In 1920s
The last time he saw
a shaved pussy was the Cat
Show of ’23.
Aren’t you a bit old
To be doggy bagging girls?
“Yes. Yes I am, Son”
Jill’s butt is unique
In that it ages douchebags
Tony is nineteen
Gramps cuts loose his dance.
PaceMaker Boogie draws laughs.
He’ll draw oxygen..
Jill later exclaimed,
“His tool felt like a Shar Pei.”
“Maybe a dead one?”
The new ad campaign
For Depends features Grandpa
Macking and crapping
Gramps celebrates Loud !
Learned he won Nigerian
Lottery !! He’s Rich !!
Grandpa busts a move
Whilst he busts an artery
And busts his last nut
The last time Grandpa
Took his tool out of the shed
JFK was Pres
As Gramps gets renoB
He struggles to remember
What to do with it
Gramps tests his pickup:
“I got The Biggest Prostate” !!
Jill gets set to honk.
Gramps fully realized
This was NO Viagra case
This called for Duct Tape !!
High on Ecstasy
Stacey lets Gramps pull up to
Her bumper; pump her
Gramps was stoked for this !
Downed Geritol on the rocks.
And had his noon nap.
Deer DB1,
I may be old, but
I ain’t dead.
Love, Gramps