Friday, March 8, 2013

Friday Haiku

It's fallen and it can't get up...

“Oh dear…” thought GrampBag,

“I’m afraid it has fallen

And it can’t get up”

Denim mini skirt

Tank top in Viagra blue.

Jump starts Jasper’s heart.

— Douche Wayne

“Hey baby! Wanna

Come back to my place and ride

The hip replacement.

— The Reverend Chad Kroeger

Grandpa was charged with

Assault with a dead weapon

When Cops saw picture

— DoucheyWallnuts

The next morning, they

mixed up his dentures and her

diaphragm. Awkward!

— Douche Wayne

“This isn’t the man

Who shot Liberty Vallance.”

He smells burning toast.

— The Reverend Chad Kroeger

Gramps celebrates Loud !

Learned he won Nigerian

Lottery !! He’s Rich !!

— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt

Grandpa busts a move

Whilst he busts an artery

And busts his last nut

— DoucheyWallnuts

# posted by Bagnonymous
7:47 am March, 8 Douche Wayne said...

Denim mini skirt

Tank top in Viagra blue.

Jump starts Jasper’s heart.

7:54 am March, 8 Douche Wayne said...

Her perky breasts and

his saggy balls will not make

great bedfellows. Son.

7:57 am March, 8 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Sandy shows surprise.

She said she would take his wood

He gave her the cane!

8:00 am March, 8 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

That’s not yellow dye!

He just pissed himself senseless

When Sandy rubbed him.

8:02 am March, 8 Douche Wayne said...

@ FDD

Its weird you called her “Sandy” because she actually looks like a girl I know named Sandy. Well played, sir.

8:03 am March, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Grandpa is horny

Any closer and he may get

Case of the “Clapper”.

8:04 am March, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

His friends call him “He

Just Drinks Metamucil and

Bangs Bitches” Grandson.

8:05 am March, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

He needs Cialis

Since the gyroscope was put

In his Monkey Hole.

8:06 am March, 8 Douche Wayne said...

“When nine hundred years

old you reach, look as good you

will not” said Yoda.

8:07 am March, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Grandpappy wristband

Could never resist the girls

At the Phish concert.

8:10 am March, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It put the saggy

Balls in the basket or it

Gets the hose. Old hose.

8:11 am March, 8 Douche Wayne said...

Well, at least he died

doing something he loved. Which

was grinding teen girls.

8:11 am March, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

“Hey baby! Wanna

Come back to my place and ride

The hip replacement.

8:12 am March, 8 DoucheyWallnuts said...

^*morning coffee shoots through nose*

8:13 am March, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Old dude’s thinking..”I

Wonder where Grandma hid the

Cock pump this time. Bitch.”

8:13 am March, 8 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Back in my day

The back door meant the Outhouse

Not banging young ass

8:14 am March, 8 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

She said, “Just Tweet Me!”

She’s Medicare paid.

He gets renob memories.

We get a tax hose

8:14 am March, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

“Doesn’t anybody

Put up railings anymore.”

He leans and falls in.

8:15 am March, 8 Douche Wayne said...

“I’ve got an extra

helmet for my Hoveround.”

Sandy hopped right on.

8:16 am March, 8 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Grandpa screams as he

Shoots last load into diaper

Whilst he craps himself

8:16 am March, 8 Douche Wayne said...

When they told him to

“ride the train” he thought they meant

Union Pacific.

8:18 am March, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

While he pokes her rear

She prepares to fellate the

Unseen Brent Largehands.

8:19 am March, 8 Douche Wayne said...

When they told him to

“slap dat ass” he thought they meant

get a mule moving.

8:19 am March, 8 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Gramps feeds withered schwantz

Into Sandy’s Big Brown Eye

She thinks she sharted

8:19 am March, 8 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

While Gramp’s Bar Night’s swell,

It could be so much more fun.

Damn constipation!!

8:20 am March, 8 Douche Wayne said...

When they told him to

“bust a nut” he thought they meant

open a pecan.

8:21 am March, 8 DoucheyWallnuts said...

As gramps climaxes

His dentures fall to the floor

Unbeknownst to Bleeth

8:21 am March, 8 Douche Wayne said...

When they told him to

“back it up” he thought they meant

reverse his Buick.

8:22 am March, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Next day he asks tax

Lawyer if there are any new

Young skank deductions.

8:24 am March, 8 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Grandpa was charged with

Assault with a dead weapon

When Cops saw picture

8:25 am March, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

“This isn’t the man

Who shot Liberty Vallance.”

He smells burning toast.

8:26 am March, 8 Douche Wayne said...

The next morning, they

mixed up his dentures and her

diaphragm. Awkward!

8:27 am March, 8 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The last time Gramps went

Back door was at Speakeasy

In 1920s

8:31 am March, 8 Douche Wayne said...

The last time he saw

a shaved pussy was the Cat

Show of ’23.

8:35 am March, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Aren’t you a bit old

To be doggy bagging girls?

“Yes. Yes I am, Son”

8:49 am March, 8 saulgoode42 said...

Jill’s butt is unique

In that it ages douchebags

Tony is nineteen

9:01 am March, 8 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Gramps cuts loose his dance.

PaceMaker Boogie draws laughs.

He’ll draw oxygen..

9:04 am March, 8 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Jill later exclaimed,

“His tool felt like a Shar Pei.”

“Maybe a dead one?”

9:07 am March, 8 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The new ad campaign

For Depends features Grandpa

Macking and crapping

9:08 am March, 8 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Gramps celebrates Loud !

Learned he won Nigerian

Lottery !! He’s Rich !!

9:09 am March, 8 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Grandpa busts a move

Whilst he busts an artery

And busts his last nut

9:11 am March, 8 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The last time Grandpa

Took his tool out of the shed

JFK was Pres

9:12 am March, 8 DoucheyWallnuts said...

As Gramps gets renoB

He struggles to remember

What to do with it

9:18 am March, 8 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Gramps tests his pickup:

“I got The Biggest Prostate” !!

Jill gets set to honk.

9:25 am March, 8 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Gramps fully realized

This was NO Viagra case

This called for Duct Tape !!

9:59 am March, 8 DoucheyWallnuts said...

High on Ecstasy

Stacey lets Gramps pull up to

Her bumper; pump her

10:04 am March, 8 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Gramps was stoked for this !

Downed Geritol on the rocks.

And had his noon nap.

10:17 am March, 8 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Deer DB1,

I may be old, but

I ain’t dead.

Love, Gramps

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