Poolbaggery
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Friday, October 23, 2015
The Evolution of Hottie/Douchey Cohabit
Hark! Halt!
Put down that greasy/lumpy cig smoking choadtollery cohabit with Sultry Poor Credit Charlotte and listen!
Like Willy Loman, attention must be paid!
Douche with Hott Paradox is now, finally, evolutionarily and Darwinianly explained!
Yes, it all now makes sense.
Even this unholy collection of toxic sparrow spittle.
Brazilian Emo Hulk understands. It knew it this entire time.
The answer was simple. The rippling lobsterian torsos of fate are nothing more than the mechanism of deception by which hott is fooled.
I suppose after eight years of this site in its prime, we already knew that. But what the heck. It is good to be reminded once again.
Wednesday, January 28, 2015Mr. Spittoon Mackles Audrey
Because greasal pollution of the nation’s suckle taut hott supply is a toxic stench that even Bill Gates poopwater can’t revive through carbonic filtration.
HCwDB lives?…
Well, not so much these days.
But your humb narrs is carrying on as best he can into new permutations. And you’re always welcome to hop in our concptual DeLorean and join the heroic neck-fused DarkSock for more mock back in 2005.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013What's got two thumbs an' likes to taste the rainbow?
Dis Guy!!!
Ayyyy!
Douche? Nottadouche? Leonardo DiCaprio’s third cousin who’s missin’ a couple a chromosomes?
Discuss.
But Sweet Cindy has more curves than the new Forza racing game. Medical FACT.
And by all means, check out the plethora of crude limericks the previous post posited.
Plethora, I says.
Posited, I also says.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013Mulletosis discusses string theory with Paris…
…whilst simultaneously a random cheetah lounging on the savanna ponders making himself a douche-skin pair of chaps.
And thusly harmonic balance is sustained.
***UPDATE***
Just a friendly reminder that there will be no posting of gratuitous pear, no matter how much you beg for gratuitous pear. Of which here’s an example of what I shan’t be posting. Because we must maintain standards of scholarly discourse.
Tuesday, July 9, 20131988: The Year We Made Douchebag
1988. The number. Another douchebag. Sound of a trust fund asswipe.
— Public Enema
I see you, Coquettish Monica. Your self consciousness about your teeth and propensity to bump into coffee tables when you try to walk around them to go to the kitchen to get another Zima make you endearing, not awkward. I celebrate your wholeness of spirit and bobble fondle by following you through CostCo with binoculars and an ostrich feather, and my awkward sniffing of your Prius driver’s seat while you run into the bank to deposit a check is meant only as a sign of respect. And booble fondle humpty hump. Boobs.
Monday, May 13, 2013Your Monday Morning Meningitis-in-the-Pool Pic
After last week’s KV-infused threat to get more submissions, the ‘bag hunters and huntresses have responded, and the hamper is full with smelly sweatsock atrociousness commingling with the tastiest of bikni martini hotts.
Like Kelli and Mia here. Two bottles of Vegas party hott water.
And DJ Shortrounduous.
Who just hasn’t done well since the Goonies/Temple-of-Doom money was spent on hookers and blow.
Thursday, May 9, 2013A Sphincter Says, "Shriveled Nads?"
Oh, to reference the great comedies of the pre-internet times of innocence and joyousness.
Oh, and them rocky cliffs are douchier than a post-coital Richard Grieco at an Axe Bodyspray convention.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013Mellonhead Wong Offers Redundant Point
Okay, I’m probably being a little harsh making fun of Mellonhead Wong’s mellon head. After all, he’s not so douchey. Kinda okay. Borderline nottadouche and goinpeace.
But as Hashem offers us mere mortals the path to spiritual Halakhic enlightenment via Kim’s Belly Button Dangle Thingy (BBDT), I am not one to quibble.
Friday, April 5, 2013Friday Challenge: Whose Urine Sample Is It?
Can you determine who belongs to the fresh urine sample seen in the lower right corner of this mimeograph? Discuss in the comments section, as always.
She brings the “H” in “HCwDB.com”…
I’d pee in her pool. Just sayin’.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013Billy Beefstick and Tammy Torso say "hi"
And they wish to assure you that they’re made of meat.
Meat, I says.
