poo
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Saturday, June 6, 2020
Gator-Poo 2020
Just sayin’.
Talk about a balanced ticket.
And by balanced ticket, I mean lots of roids and excessive bronzer that resembles offensive forms of historical vaudeville.
Friday, October 23, 2015The Evolution of Hottie/Douchey Cohabit
Hark! Halt!
Put down that greasy/lumpy cig smoking choadtollery cohabit with Sultry Poor Credit Charlotte and listen!
Like Willy Loman, attention must be paid!
Douche with Hott Paradox is now, finally, evolutionarily and Darwinianly explained!
Yes, it all now makes sense.
Even this unholy collection of toxic sparrow spittle.
Brazilian Emo Hulk understands. It knew it this entire time.
The answer was simple. The rippling lobsterian torsos of fate are nothing more than the mechanism of deception by which hott is fooled.
I suppose after eight years of this site in its prime, we already knew that. But what the heck. It is good to be reminded once again.
Thursday, February 6, 2014Well Now I Just Feel Dirty
Cannot… unsee…
Must… get… clean…
Lysol!
Stat!
Wednesday, January 22, 2014Vinny Del Peen Says, "Stay Warm, East Coast!"
I have no idea if Kathy Del Mar is a man, woman, or some combination therein. But I do know that Vinny Del Peen sucks and with a lower level of submissions to HCwDB these days, these are the HCwDBs we go to war with, to paraphrase Rumsfeld.
My insecure sexuality is rattled. Need more Israeli Semitic Booble Suckle Gal Gadot to reassure me.
Friday, December 14, 2012HCwDB Smells Like Poo – 2012 ButtNugget o' the Year
DarkSock here, sniffing the Poo for You. So you don’t have to.
I’m offering up the cascading cornapoopia dribbling down the hirsute cursed legs of the foul beast we shall relegate to the anals of history as Twenty-Aught-Twelve. We wander zombie-like in this Land of the Lost, and these Sleeze-Stacks are the ones who made the loudest “sputta-chutt-chutt” machine-gun staccato whilst escaping the event horizon of the brown-eyed swirl of the societal balloon knot we call DoucheLand:
Runny-Up # 3 – The Squirrel and the Vomit
Ab Reveals? More like Crab Reveals. 10 points to House of Slytherin for Xena of the SkullCrusher Thighs on the left there. *I’d like my c*ckk ring back, dear. It’s not meant to be an earring.*
Runny-Up #2 – The BandHoles:
More like Band On The Runs. Ugh. Taking the term “Shitty Cover Band” far too literally. Next…
Runny-Up #1 – Captain and The Tetanus:
While we are compelled to gawk at the spectacle that is Captain Chesty McRibMeat and daydream about sailing ’round her Golden Globes (to quote Jacques Douchetou, “Those cans are so round she lactates marbles”), alas this runny-up goes to The Tetanus. Because he puts the “ANUS” it “Tetanus”.
Smells like Poo 2012 – Crotchos
Yeah. That’s what I thought. You’d forgotten about this skid-mark on the porcelain bowl of our collective consciousness, didn’t you? Lest there be any doubt or debate…look at this. LOOK AT IT:
The world ends not with a bang…but with a *poot*.
Fart,
D.S.
Friday, February 10, 2012Aquabag Mugging Jeannie Represents Explosive Diarrhea In the Face of Society
Apologies for the graphic title, but this pic deserves a graphic title.
Man, my soul hurts. This has been a depressing week in the fight over douchebaggery in presence of hott. Feels like our post Jersey Shore reality is giving way to a resurgence in things like nuclear douchegoggles and hottie headlocks.
Time for a Mr. Pibb over ice for consolation and quiet meditation.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012A Whole Lotta Shite
Someone please flush.
Thursday, August 11, 2011Wilhelm’s Tie Proves the Spicolli Theorem
No shirt.
No shoes.
Nooooo diiiiiice.
So sayeth the immortal words of Jeff Spicolli to Brad Hamilton at the All American Burger, where Brad worked, like, six months ago.
And so let it be written on the subway walls and tenement halls as a warning to all that goeth into clubs to mack on confused foreign exchange students with no hint of boob reveal and bad tattoos.
Shirtless + Tie = the stupidhead.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011Poppa Squatter
Sometimes the waiting period for entrance into our hallowed Closet of Poo is waived (wiped), and immediate flush is granted.
This is one of those times.
Thursday, May 26, 2011Caption This
“Tonya would be forever grateful to her cousins for the donations of their entire livers and kidneys. However, Vin and Joey were beginning to feel a little jaundiced about the whole affair.”
^Okay, Baghunters; I didn’t exactly set the bar too high. Bring it, guys…
