poo

    Wednesday, May 25, 2011

    A Benny Shaved…

    …is a Benny spurned.

    In a world where we’ve won the good fight, anyway. Sadly, in this world, Benny Bones Betty, Beverly and Brenda.

    Damn you, Benny; may you find out that you’re the only one in this group that’s shaved.

    # posted by Bagnonymous
    Tuesday, May 17, 2011

    Toolio Has Tried It Twice (Creature Feature)


    Guest-host Creature offers the following ‘bag take-down:

    Toolio has tried it twice.

    Male bonding, that is. Sweet slice of Siam Suki does not approve, though she loaned Mr. T her pillowy pink blouse for the second event. Despite the fact that it fits, she draws the line at Toolie’s wearing of her thong taco truss for any future adventures.

    # posted by Bagnonymous
    Tuesday, April 12, 2011

    Michelle’s Earwax Problem

    Michelle’s rationale: Cheaper than a Qtip, and it buys you free drinks.

    Not sure I’m buying it, Michelle.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, March 22, 2011

    Squat Dumping on a Snail

    That reminds me. Did I remember to squat dump a shiny turd uponst a confused snail this morning in the outer gardens by the alpaca processing plant?

    I always forget to do that before I leave the grounds.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, September 15, 2010

    Honorary Douchebeer of the Month: Bud Light Lime

    While we’re giving out Monthlies, it’s time to hand out this well deserved honorarium to the douchiest alcoholic beverage to target fourteen year olds since the Zima non-craze of the early 90s.

    And I’m including the odious Smirnoff Ice.

    Bud Light Lime. For when putting a lime in your beer is too much effort.

    Back when HCwDB was only months old, in late 2006, the ad agency team that ran one of the Bud Light campaigns, big fans of the site (and legitimate ‘bag hunters who may still mock among us), were the first group to try to option HCwDB. They wanted to produce a series of ad campaigns for Bud Light with HCwDB as their framework for the campaign. But the Bud executives nixed the deal. They thought the site was too “angry” and that the word “douchebag” could never be said on T.V.

    Here’s to you, Beer Executive Geniuses.

    Your pandering to the lowest common denominator offends none, and entertains very little. But your beer is always whale piss.

    # posted by douchebag1