Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Squat Dumping on a Snail

That reminds me. Did I remember to squat dump a shiny turd uponst a confused snail this morning in the outer gardens by the alpaca processing plant?

I always forget to do that before I leave the grounds.

# posted by douchebag1
9:31 am March, 22 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I see nip.

9:33 am March, 22 Vin Douchal said...

Extintor! The 21st Century’s favorite cure for Chlamydia…..
.
Side effects may include dry mouth, puckered lips, yellow or orange skin , aimless, fish-eyed staring into the distance, purple sploshes on the upper breasts, and loss of muscle tone in the arms

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10:00 am March, 22 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Realizing that she is too far from the extintor to save her life, Jessica Simpson tries to bite off the first third of her tongue in the hopes that she can swallow it and choke to death before the EMT that graduated from Franklin & Mars Hall Shoe Shine and Animal Masturbation Academy tries to perform a tracheotomy on her cervix.

10:07 am March, 22 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I see nip, too. Sadly, it’s wearing an Ed Hardy hat, so that nip is rather bleethy.
.
Makes me tear up.

10:10 am March, 22 Anonymous said...

Nice tit tattoo…skank.

10:12 am March, 22 Wedgie said...

The battle of stupid hats, Ed Hardy vs. Franklin & Marshall.
Hardy wins, and we all lose.
.
.
Happily, boobies, nip peek, and small tattoo on breast that reads “grab this”.

10:15 am March, 22 Wedgie said...

PS: I likes ’em slutty, you guys are haters. They can’t all be nuns & librarians, you know.

10:16 am March, 22 Deltus said...

Such a shame, that what appears to be a perfectly serviceable set of tittays is ruined by being on bleeth skank meat like her. There was a time, I bet, before she was that far gone, when her boobs were mostly filled in, when she was prime hott steak with all the trimmings.
.
Not sure if I’m hungry or not now. She’s kinda turned my stomach, but I have a strong hankering for steak.

10:44 am March, 22 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

There is nothing wrong with Bleethy nip. Sometimes you want a burger instead of steak. Sometimes want to play in the mud. And sometimes you want to motorboat some Bleeth melons and not name your future grandchildren. This is why god invented penicillin, and this is why he put the word PENI in it.

10:55 am March, 22 The Dude said...

Nipster librarian?

10:57 am March, 22 The Dude said...

I’d meet her in the stacks.

I’d annotate her boobliography.

11:01 am March, 22 banana hammock said...

bleeth or no bleeth, nip is welcome… give it a squeeze nemo or put the fishy face away.

11:03 am March, 22 Lil' Fartknocker said...

Librarian? No way…she’s the chick at the end of the bar who you think is hot when you first see her…nice rack and the nip-slippage distracts from the tat, but then she laughs like a chain-smoking jackal and you begin to have doubts…you look up from the cleavage to have your doubts confirmed at the sight of that stupid hat.

BTW…she’s holding his right hand at a hover…I call “Paid to Pose.”

11:20 am March, 22 fatness said...

I had no idea Wal*Mart got into the PtP business.

11:24 am March, 22 Anonymous said...

You can tell by the stretch marks on her left arm near where it meets her shoulder that she’s a couple of late night pizzas away from bingo arms.

11:24 am March, 22 Bigphatnotadouche said...

The dude thinks he is going to get a $5.00 blow job but the skank has friends out back behind the bar that have other ideas.

11:34 am March, 22 Spell Attic said...

@Anon 11:24am, Bingo arms? How does this differ from matronly arms? I NEED TO KNOW!
.
She’s a tramp stamp personified and he’s the guy who buys the last bag of Funyuns @ the 7-11, 3 seconds before I get there. Bugles will not satisfy my hunger douchebag!

11:43 am March, 22 Spell Attic said...

@Anon, ohhhh. Bingo arms are waaay worse.

11:44 am March, 22 Et Tu Douche? said...

Wedgie @ 10:15AM FTW!!!

12:42 pm March, 22 Mr. White said...

Sorry, that’s not a tat. That’s an infected lymph node pushing its way to the surface. She’s soon going to have a third nipple, but it’ll be leaking something other than milk….

12:57 pm March, 22 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

That looks like the character for fish. It’s as unfortunate as it is apropos.

2:15 pm March, 22 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

She looks like she has venereal diseases that haven’t even been cataloged in the physicians desk reference yet.

2:24 pm March, 22 Southern Scrotic said...

He’s ready to circle around to receive his snowball from her.

3:13 pm March, 22 Troy Tempest said...

Her tatt says “SKANK” in Chinese.

7:02 pm March, 22 Medusa Oblongata said...

“laughs like a chain-smoking jackal”….”Bingo arms”…..I am doubling over here, people. Part of the time I’m laughing, the rest, I’m vomiting over this pic. Sweet baby Jeebus. I have seen many wrong things in my day, but this is by far the wrongest. I know, for every saint there’s a skank. But gawd DAYUM….there’s dressing the part, and then there’s radiating it from your bones. This one probably tried to suck the OB-GYN’s cock as soon as he pulled her from her mother’s cooch.

8:39 pm March, 22 DarkSock said...

i am soiled damn u alll

6:53 am March, 23 Deltus said...

@Medusa: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

6:53 am March, 23 Anonymous said...

@ Dark Sock – No sir, damn you. A fresh pack of underwear goes into my weekly shopping cart every week due to the repetative soilings you have caused.

12:17 pm March, 23 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Pumpy wannabe without a clue how it’s really done.
Skanky alreadybe without a club to whomp his paws.
Oh, and SEINFELD already did “The Nip” episode.

12:55 pm March, 23 Stephanie said...

Extintor? Excrement.

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