Thursday, October 31, 2013

    Happy Halloween!!

    BeAfraid

    Boo!!

    I refer, of course, to

    < ——

    An atrocity wrapped in a riddle, surrounded by a toxic coating of grease, slime, and inflated skin cells.

    Your humb narrs is drunk on rice mead and my daughter is a strawberry.

    Happy Halloween!!

    Thursday, October 31, 2013

    Pop Quiz: Cardboard Cutouts or Not Cardboard Cutouts

    photo 3 (1)

    Okay kids, time to play the game that’s sweeping the nation (and soon to be a reality show on Fox):

    Cardboard Cutouts? Or Not Cardboard Cutouts?

    Answer now!

    Bonus points for finding The Nipple of Shame

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, October 31, 2013

    12 Years a Douchebag

    photo 3 (3)

    Sometimes we as a society need to confront the ugly truth about America’s douchey past.

    By facing the horrible realities of our buried legacy of country music, patriotic leg warmers, and kitten shirts.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, October 30, 2013

    Sox!!!!!!!

    YoloPear

    Booya.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, October 30, 2013

    Mr. Broboto Fondles Stephanie

    photo 4 (4)

    Remember kids, fire extinguishers are only for tall people.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, October 30, 2013

    Breaking: Greasy Chefbag Guy Fieri Screams at his Hairdresser

    Longtime HCwDB (without the HC) clown Guy Fieri got into a screaming hissy fit/fight with his personal hairdresser.

    I guess the douchespikes didn’t turn out with proper spung.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, October 30, 2013

    Your Wednesday Bros and Hotts on a Boat

    396674_4161932563461_1991353998_n

    “Bro!! Pass the Bud Light Lime!!” sad the cat with a wicked grin.

    And the Jester said “Hoo Hoo!” and the Queen said “Haa Haa!”

    And everybody got syphilis.

    — Excerpt from Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Doucheyland

    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, October 29, 2013

    After the Horrokiss

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    Greaser Matt and Hott Layla’s sister, Hott Tonya, pose for posterity’s sake.

    And by posterity, I mean posterior.

    And by posterior, I mean the Baby Tebus pooping on Gandhi.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, October 29, 2013

    Horrokiss

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    Show me one Halloween event remotely as scary, puke worthy or toxic crotch lice inducingly awful as Greaser Matt making out with Hott Layla, and I’ll buy you a gold plated raisin.

    But only a 14 karat gold plated raisin. No 24 karats all up in this shiz.

    On my way back to LA from Vegas.

    The craps table is a mean and heartless she-bitch.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, October 28, 2013

    Vegas Is Filled with Douchefluff

    when the amish go douche

    Stop the presses. Wait, what? Who dat say what?

    I’m in Vegas.

    And everyone looks like these two.

    Amish faux punk doucheclowns and stripper hotts who smell like glitter, cheap hand sanitizer, and wet tobacco.

    ‘Tis true. Your humb narrs has chosen to return to the land of douche mecca that I first came to, so long ago, with notebook (and camera) in hand in the dark days of 2006. Back when I first began to document the emerging hottie/douchey plague.

    And now I return, seven years later, to see from whenst the scrotal/hott cohabit has mutated, grown, shrunk, or otherwise stank up the strip.

    HC1 and I dropped off the poop machine with the grandma and hit the road.

    Vegas, baby.

    I’m talking Swingers Vegas.

    Not Hard Rock Douche Mecca Vegas.

    The battle continues. HC1 and I will be mocking.

    From a safe distance, of course.

    EDIT: Good news from the front lines

    # posted by douchebag1
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