Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Horrokiss

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Show me one Halloween event remotely as scary, puke worthy or toxic crotch lice inducingly awful as Greaser Matt making out with Hott Layla, and I’ll buy you a gold plated raisin.

But only a 14 karat gold plated raisin. No 24 karats all up in this shiz.

On my way back to LA from Vegas.

The craps table is a mean and heartless she-bitch.

# posted by douchebag1
7:13 am October, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

My mother molested this dude and he went all Snakes and Ladders. And by Snakes and Ladders I mean his arm, with indelible crayon tatt goo. And shit.

7:58 am October, 29 Bag Em Tag Em said...

How did the whole “Rosary Beads” thing start?

Is it a douche’s way of saying, “Trust me, baby…I wouldnt do horrible, horrible things to you…I’ve found God!”

Of course, they fall for it, and end up waking up sticky, broke and confused.

8:15 am October, 29 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Guns on “the guns” tattoo. a new level of stupidity.

8:28 am October, 29 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I would like to cosset Layla with a large rubber spatula and a loofa, whilst anointing her loins with a fresh mango chutney, all the while I grind against her hip bones with a semi-frantic rhythm.

9:03 am October, 29 UFO Destroyers said...

They deserve each other. He with the 4th grade tattoo art. And she with the jizz target stars on her collarbones.

.

And why does he have the pink bracelet and she have the yellow one? Is it a signifier for Mr. White for later in the evening?

9:08 am October, 29 Vin J Douchal said...

Is it wrong if I saw the words “craps tables” and became instantly aroused?

9:16 am October, 29 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Don’t do it, Greaser Matt! She means to drain your soul and other bodily fluids and leave a a dried out husk! Basically, run!

9:19 am October, 29 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I don’t think they are making out. It looks more like they are pressing their tightly pursed lips together like one paid to party hott and one pays to party douche at a staged photo op.

9:19 am October, 29 purpledrank said...

Hott Layla has a couple of years until the onset of Matron Arms, but those would be a couple of really fun years.

Donkey punchers.

9:26 am October, 29 Dr Magnifico said...

What’s with the pink wrist band? Does it mean he can get back into the gay nightclub?

10:47 am October, 29 The Dude said...

Gone with the Mighty Wind. phew!

11:24 am October, 29 Douche Wayne said...

Let’s hope she has one of those Alien tongues that has a mouth and fangs and is about to blast through the back of his skull.

11:41 am October, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Is this really a club or is it someone’s garage that has been partitioned by stackable shelving units

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http://www.lowes.com/pd_262531-1623-US056009_0__?productId=1075397&Ntt=shelving&pl=1&currentURL=%3FNtt%3Dshelving&facetInfo=

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so that mom wouldn’t know what’s going on?

.

And this “kiss” seems to be part of a dare on her part. As in her friends said “We dare you to kiss that douchebag and see if you don’t come back smelling like cigarettes and cheap body spray.” Kayla was so desperate for a shot of Goose she did it.

11:53 am October, 29 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Challenge accepted, DB1.

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http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qh1gCOLyIGA/TgBuS8LllDI/AAAAAAAABxk/uU0qlD5plUY/s1600/douchebag_01.jpg

Scrotes of the living dead.

11:54 am October, 29 Jacques Doucheteau said...

“What have you done to its eyes?!”

12:16 pm October, 29 Wheezer said...

Judging by the back arch and shape of her arms, my gut tells me Layla was once a gymnast.

.

Wow, I’d pee in her pommel horse and show her a floor routine.

1:01 pm October, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Jacques went to see the Baron again this year and captured the new display.

2:38 pm October, 29 Douchesdownunder said...

Madonna.

Fucking Madonna started the whole rosary beads thing.

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