HCwDB at the Guggenheim
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Monday, November 10, 2014
The Grumpus Turns Away in Shame
And, lo, the Grumpus Societal Id contemplates the hottie/douche cohabit as Rashi once studied the butterfly. And then, after due consideration, the Grumpus turns away. In sadness and in shame. She is leaving. She is leaving. But the salacious crud still remains.
Whence our collective gaze doth consider, true enlightenment may or may not follow. It is certainly not assured.
But we must remember that enlightenment is not the goal when poochy cup slap betwixt greasy poo choad and suckle taught lilac takes place.
The process is the enumeration. Or so sayeth the wise ones that once twitched like prime Jerry Lewis in spasmodic temples of yore. One must look. And then one must turn away. To consider. To meditate. To ruminate. To regurgitate. And to watch DVR’d episodes of Deadliest Catch while eating Funyuns and scratching inappropriately.
So do not judge as Grumpus refuses to gaze like carnivorous gazelle. For without averting her eyes, the stench of laundry detergent and semi-employment at the Casino buffet on the midnight to six AM shift would forever remain un-comprehended. And theretofore, unknown.
Thursday, October 31, 201312 Years a Douchebag
Sometimes we as a society need to confront the ugly truth about America’s douchey past.
By facing the horrible realities of our buried legacy of country music, patriotic leg warmers, and kitten shirts.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013"Love and Body Spray"
I hereby deem thee an artistic amalgam of all that is smelly in greater Long Island, and hereby bequeath this image to my show at the Guggenheim in 2023.
Friday, February 15, 2013Friday Haiku
Why did Mickey Mouse
Divorce Minnie Mouse? Because she
Was f*cking Goofy.
Ugh. Let’s try another:
The two most hated
Kinds of deviants on earth:
Furries and Douchebags
Senile old man drives
his Delta Eighty-Eight on
sidewalk, problem solved.
— UFO Destroyers
She won’t do Pluto
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Mickey Hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Ridiculous hat
huge, oversized, clowny shoes
Mice look stupid, too.
— Douche Wayne
Slip blonde a Mickey
Benzino misses the point
His “mini” thwarted
— Et Tu Douche?
Vermin and Varmints
Roam the streets of Las Vegas
Where is Carl Spackler?
— DoucheyWallnuts
Friday, December 21, 2012HCwDB at the Guggenheim in 2023
As many of you know, HCwDB’s crucial role in transforming understandings of art by reclaiming the image through a self-reflexive, post-postmodern rubric will eventually be acknowledged by the academic and literary canon. This will culminate with a triumphant art show at the Guggenheim Museum in 2023.
As a result, I am preparing my yearly collections well in advance of this milestone in post-classical digital art.
By naming each piece of reclaimed imagery as art, I am codifying the destabilization of the signifier in the age of digital reclamation.
Of mechanical reproduction.
Of poo.
Along with July’s “The Halo of Avalon,” my notable artistic works from 2012 include:
“Friendly Gathering on a Humid Afternoon Plus Four Prong” (a work co-created with Hermit)
“Jack Smellington and His Korner Kameleons” (co-created with DarkSock)
And of course, one of the most significant works of my career, “Uberbro Meltdown and Pear”
Someday the academy will concede my genius. Until then, I’ll go on scratching myself.
Thursday, October 4, 2012Trash Culture as Pop-Art: "Shminky and the Boob"
It’s s sort of the HCwDB equivalent of a Jeff Koons sculpture.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012One Word Tuesday
Friday Haiku
Kandi Kane enjoys
Her new ‘bag stereo:
In Douche 2.0
This situation
Has ruined any hope of
Legalization
— Capt. James T. Douche
Even Jane Goodall
couldn’t wrap her mind around
this social construct.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
The Clit/Hemp combo
Is not enough to rouse twins
Out of drug stupor
— DoucheyWallnuts
She has stopped breathing
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Chronic Hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Pot leaf on her cooch
bondage tape on her nipples
Bad choices ev’rywhere.
— Morbo
“After you bang me
Leave your hats on this here shelf.
These are from today.”
— DoucheyWallnuts
Everything they wear,
think, speak is branded. Faces
need branding iron.
— Wheezer
Hooker on the floor
Ping ping balls fired from biznatch
Might be injuries
— Vin Douchal
Tuesday, August 7, 2012One Word Tuesday
"The Halo of Avalon"
I proclaim this one of my greatest artworks of 2012, and title thee, “The Halo of Avalon.”
My innovative work breaking down the hierarchy of taste culture by using found footage to offer a neo-expressionist critique of medium will continue to revolutionize conceptual critical perspectives on boobies and poo.
I leave the specifities of critical inquiry into the aesthete of the pic to the comments threads. But know that it is, in both formal properties and conceptual thematics, a ground breaking work, and one I will proudly include at my Guggenheim show in 2023.
