Friday, September 7, 2012

Friday Haiku

Kandi Kane enjoys
Her new ‘bag stereo:
In Douche 2.0

This situation
Has ruined any hope of
Legalization

– Capt. James T. Douche

Even Jane Goodall
couldn’t wrap her mind around
this social construct.

– Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche

The Clit/Hemp combo
Is not enough to rouse twins
Out of drug stupor

– DoucheyWallnuts

She has stopped breathing
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Chronic Hole.

– The Reverend Chad Kroeger

Pot leaf on her cooch
bondage tape on her nipples
Bad choices ev’rywhere.

– Morbo

“After you bang me
Leave your hats on this here shelf.
These are from today.”

– DoucheyWallnuts

Everything they wear,
think, speak is branded. Faces
need branding iron.

– Wheezer

Hooker on the floor
Ping ping balls fired from biznatch
Might be injuries

– Vin Douchal

# posted by Bagnonymous
6:24 am September, 7 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

This is a Shipwreck

Of such epic proportions

Let’s weep for Mankind!

6:25 am September, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

There’s not enough weed

in the world to get me near

wherever this is.

6:26 am September, 7 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Wiggas have an orgy

The Mayan prophecy comes

To pass we are doomed!

6:27 am September, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Katy Perry hits

the skids HARD after Mayer

dumping. Rock bottom.

6:28 am September, 7 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Looks like black-taped boobs.

They should get rolls for faces –

The Real nasty bits!

6:28 am September, 7 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Remember kids just

Say no to dope which should not

Be hard to do now!

6:29 am September, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Is the one in the

middle the secret triplet?

Chills on back of neck.

6:31 am September, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Pre-op or post-op?

Doesn’t matter. My eyes can’t

unsee this horror.

6:33 am September, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Even they can have

a moment of clarity

by looks on faces.

6:34 am September, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

So what happens when

all three get gyroscopes put

in their monkey holes?

6:35 am September, 7 saulgoode42 said...

Ever since their split

Kristen Stewart’s had trouble

Replacing her douche

6:35 am September, 7 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Bastard children of

Marshall Mathers drop seed in

Meth addict love chute

6:37 am September, 7 saulgoode42 said...

Twin douchebags love weed

So much so, in fact, they got

This new joint roller

6:37 am September, 7 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Post shrimping buffet

The wiggas use her monkey

Hole for some bong hits

6:39 am September, 7 Douche Wayne said...

Not cool, Darksock, not cool.

I’m not playing.

6:40 am September, 7 Capt. James T. Douche said...

This situation

Has ruined any hope of

Legalization

6:42 am September, 7 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Hey! Look at my zool

Not these drug addled douchebags

Ignore smell of shrimp

6:43 am September, 7 Capt. James T. Douche said...

The twins strike again

Race relations are ruined

For next 50 years!

6:43 am September, 7 Douche Wayne said...

I can only hope

it’s medical reefer and

they’re on their deathbeds.

6:47 am September, 7 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Things like this makes folks

Climb to a tall ledge with a

High power rifle!

6:48 am September, 7 DoucheyWallnuts said...

For some strange reason

This scene gives me a renoB

I need therapy

6:48 am September, 7 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Mark your calendar

Today is the day hip hop

Officially died

6:50 am September, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Even Jane Goodall

couldn’t wrap her mind around

this social construct.

6:51 am September, 7 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Few of us in life

Will experience the taste

Of our brothers cum

6:54 am September, 7 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The ecstasy twins

Scored a bleeth for a threesome

Need more ecstasy

6:56 am September, 7 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The Captain’s Haiku

Made me vomit in my pants

Picture makes me weep

6:59 am September, 7 Capt. James T. Douche said...

So nauseated

I cant take it, sticking my

Finger down my throat

7:01 am September, 7 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Magical pasties

Hide her perky pink nipples

Can’t hide the douche twins

7:03 am September, 7 Douche Wayne said...

Looks like the scene in

Se7en where almost-dead guy

tied to bed for years.

7:03 am September, 7 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Each twin has a sore.

Aids Karposi’s by left eyes?

And she is a sore.

7:06 am September, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Lesson learned? Never

say “I’ll do anything to

be famous!” Regrets.

7:07 am September, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Acid reflux and

bile taste in mouth force meto

stop writing haikus.

7:10 am September, 7 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Somewhere her dad is

Standing on the side of a

Very tall building

7:11 am September, 7 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Let the douche twins

smoke each other,

I’ll take care of Kandi

7:13 am September, 7 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The Clit/Hemp combo

Is not enough to rouse twins

Out of drug stupor

7:33 am September, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She has stopped breathing

Since the gyroscope was put

In her Chronic Hole.

7:36 am September, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It puts the weed in

It’s pussy or it gets the

Hose. Water bong hose.

7:36 am September, 7 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Chronic or Hydro

4/20 or Johnny Blaze

I’d fuck her, I says

7:38 am September, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Generation z

Still loves the happy tunes of

Miss Patty Smith. Son

7:39 am September, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The Unsubs were found

Sneerfully chewing the last part

Of her Mons Pubis.

7:39 am September, 7 Capt. James T. Douche said...

After the twins came

In her, she has been rendered

Way unfuckable

7:40 am September, 7 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Crystal meth groupies

always find lowest common

demonimator

7:43 am September, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

After torturing

Selena Gomez. The twins work

Through lesser known meat.

7:44 am September, 7 Capt. James T. Douche said...

These two losers even

Fuck with those stupid hats on

I can’t stop puking!

7:45 am September, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

There is a line you

Can’t cross getting your “red wings.”

She’s the thin red line.

7:46 am September, 7 Douche Wayne said...

Judging from the smell

that weed is laced with failure

and bad decisions.

7:53 am September, 7 Morbo said...

Circus must be here

How else to explain freakshow?

Dollar gets ya crabs

7:57 am September, 7 Morbo said...

Pot leaf on her cooch

bondage tape on her nipples

Bad choices ev’rywhere.

8:00 am September, 7 Morbo said...

Eurobag twins have

key to her heart — and only

key to basement door

8:16 am September, 7 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

“Self Made” hat on ledge

apparently only sold

to the unemployed

8:19 am September, 7 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

even gyroscope

won’t go in her monkey hole

without condom on

8:23 am September, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Romney’s grandchildren

Throw in towel after Biden

Clinton speeches. Me too.

8:41 am September, 7 Scrotewank Jones and the furry furry Douchetrots said...

Let the scrotes fondle

Strung out Katy Perry who’d

Still get a suckle

8:46 am September, 7 Scrotewank Jones and the furry furry Douchetrots said...

Wiggas fondle thigh

After puffin dat phat blunt

Bitch be lookin fly

8:47 am September, 7 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“After you bang me

Leave your hats on this here shelf.

These are from today.”

9:03 am September, 7 Vin Douchal said...

Everyone glances

At puddle of greasy goo

Ducks floating on it

9:04 am September, 7 Vin Douchal said...

All look down in shame

Come down from meth, realize

“We’re waste of carbon”

9:06 am September, 7 Vin Douchal said...

Hooker on the floor

Ping ping balls fired from biznatch

Might be injuries

9:08 am September, 7 Vin Douchal said...

Electrodes on nips

Fire up generator

All zapped on contact

9:32 am September, 7 Colossus of Choads said...

watching Hannah’s Field

Goss bros. rethink life choices

puff puff give? no thanks

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQe4XVrJFGQ

11:46 am September, 7 Wheezer said...

A humidor for

Blunts? OK. Humidor for

a—–CONTROL YOURSELVES.

11:48 am September, 7 Wheezer said...

Legalize it? Well,

if she’s 18, I guess we

have to accept it.

11:54 am September, 7 Wheezer said...

Only her pasties

would be smiling here in The

Land of Misfit Scrotes.

11:56 am September, 7 Wheezer said...

These flaming choads share

their “gorgeouth” pink underwear;

skid marks included.

12:02 pm September, 7 Wheezer said...

Everything they wear,

think, speak is branded. Faces

need branding iron.

12:14 pm September, 7 Wheezer said...

“I did not inhale.”

Slick Willie speaks truth this time;

used cigar instead.

12:17 pm September, 7 Wheezer said...

“A-T-L…..’zat where

we live, brah?” “Don’t know, bro; I

flunked Geometry.”

12:35 pm September, 7 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Six hours later

This still gives me a renoB

Need therapy. Stat.

1:08 pm September, 7 Morbo said...

She gets 90/hour

These guys scraped up five bucks in

nickels and won’t leave

1:13 pm September, 7 Morbo said...

“Make a wish,” ‘Bags said.

Kandi ponders … World peace? Food?

Nah. More drugs, sex, STAT!

1:16 pm September, 7 Morbo said...

Bondage tape on nips

hurts like a bitch when removed

or so I’ve been told

4:51 pm September, 7 Little Willie said...

Who let the retard twins out of their cages? Hopefully they remembered to tranq them up so they don’t get too excited or break something. Flat chested Kandi is a little on the rough side. So young to have the too many miles look already. The marijuana decal on her bikini bottom right over her privates hopefully conceals a tight shaven pussy rather than a small underdeveloped, hormone shrunken penis typical of rough looking flat chested trannies.

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