Friday, February 15, 2013
Friday Haiku
Why did Mickey Mouse
Divorce Minnie Mouse? Because she
Was f*cking Goofy.
Ugh. Let’s try another:
The two most hated
Kinds of deviants on earth:
Furries and Douchebags
Senile old man drives
his Delta Eighty-Eight on
sidewalk, problem solved.
— UFO Destroyers
She won’t do Pluto
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Mickey Hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Ridiculous hat
huge, oversized, clowny shoes
Mice look stupid, too.
— Douche Wayne
Slip blonde a Mickey
Benzino misses the point
His “mini” thwarted
— Et Tu Douche?
Vermin and Varmints
Roam the streets of Las Vegas
Where is Carl Spackler?
— DoucheyWallnuts
There should be a flick
Titled: Being Benzito
“Malkovich” was taken
Not every child star
on the Mickey Mouse Club grew
up to be famous.
Senile old man drives
his Delta Eighty-Eight on
sidewalk, problem solved.
Icons get turned to
Douche/Bleeth by Benzino, Walts
Head sheds icy tears.
Sorcerer’s spell cast
Shortly, Benzino will turn
Into a broomstick
Benzino Shopping for
“Swallowers Apprentice” and
Gets mugged by gay mouse.
Mickey getting caught
Buying MDMA and
Rohypnol from Benz
She won’t do Pluto
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Mickey Hole.
Robe by Ed Hardy
Douche virus is contagious
Mickey learns too late
Vegas Street Hustlers
Fleece tourists with photo con
Costs Mickey ten bucks
Garish dress. Plastic
surgeon’s eyes. Still less douchey
Than Benzino’s Bleeth
Ridiculous hat
huge, oversized, clowny shoes
Mice look stupid, too.
New animated
Douche feature, worst crap ever
“Steamboat Benzino”
“Yo, I’m like a kid
at heart, yo. Next week I be
chillin’ with the Smurfs.”
It puts the duck in
The Basket or it gets the
Hose. The Donald Hose.
One of these couples
Symbolize money culture
Hint, its not the mice
When Mickey isn’t
Looking Benz moves in, Minnie
Now needs Valtrex bad!
Mickey interviews
Benzino for job in the
“Hall of Pestilence.”
Disney bought Star Wars,
so no kids want pic with mice;
hit streets for their cheese.
New characters for
next Star Wars; Benzino Fett
and Jabba the Slut.
Slip blonde a Mickey
Benzino misses the point
His “mini” thwarted
Title of picture
“Four Rodents I Wouldn’t Fuck”
Need bigger Mouse Trap
Vermin and Varmints
Roam the streets of Las Vegas
Where is Carl Spackler?
Need large chunk of cheese
And an over-sized mouse trap
To clean up this town
The real couple is
Benzino and Mickey Mouse
The girls are just beards
Benzino’s happy
Like Eddie Money in a
Travel Agency
I think D. Wallnuts
meant to reference Caddyshack
It is Carl “Spackler”
Benzino’s happy
Like Reverend Chad at a
Sophomore Mixer.
Benzino’s happy
Like Creature driving aliens
Back to the border.
Benzino’s happy
Like Vin Douchal finding a
Cock between her legs.
Benzino’s happy
Like Dark Sock at amateur
Speed boat regatta.
Benzino’s happy
Like Douchey Wallnuts in a
High end Drapery.
No, Benzino, there’s
no club remix of the song,
“I’m a Happy Mouse.”
Benzino’s happy
Like Et Tu Douche at an ex-
Stripper Convention..
.
Fuck I just heard a tranfromer blow losing power in 4,3,
Benzino makes mark
on Hollywood Walk of Fame
Santorum ass drip
Ferris is correct…damn auto correct for some reason…who the fuc is spangler and why would auto correct use that?
^ Star Spangler Banner?
Walt Disney’s frozen
Head Explodes when douchebag
De-flowers Minnie
Minnie is a whore
Mickey is a pussy and
Benzino a douche
Steamboat Willie Says
Vinyl pants cause scrotal stench
Axe Spray cannot hide
Opened Disney vault
reveals a racist persian
stereotype newt.
Smaller than a mouse
Ahem, in more way than one
And nice clown shoes, bra’
Wizard Mickey paints
circles on bleeth’s boobs to make
them jump and sweep floor.
Mickey and Minnie
Drunk, ready to get inked up
Benz ruins their lives
In Morocco you
dress in wizard robes, or you
look like the west puked.
They’ve become best friends
Since Benzino stuck his small
wang in his mouse hole.
Benzino’s happy
Since the gyroscope was put
in her monkeyhole.
mickey is angry
cannot give the one finger
to the bleeth and douche
You won’t be smiling
When the asteroid enters
Your monkeyhole, son
It’s obfuscation
When your own eyes are deceived
In seeing the rats.
Asteroid puts the
whole world in to perspective.
Not for Benzino.
Headless body of
Uncle Walt not amused,
Seeks Zombie revenge
This very image
Is from my nightmare last night
Daisy rescued me
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