Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Your Wednesday Bros and Hotts on a Boat

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“Bro!! Pass the Bud Light Lime!!” sad the cat with a wicked grin.

And the Jester said “Hoo Hoo!” and the Queen said “Haa Haa!”

And everybody got syphilis.

— Excerpt from Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Doucheyland

# posted by douchebag1
8:37 am October, 30 Charles Douchewin said...

That is the WORST kind of sideboob, and he knows it.

8:41 am October, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I see the bros. Can someone please point out the hotts? All I see is the 5th, 6th, and 8th runner up for Nebraska’s annual Miss Lake-Bleeth competition.

8:46 am October, 30 Douche Wayne said...

Kendra ponders whether to accept the group’s dare to “make the Jameson bottle disappear.”

8:57 am October, 30 purpledrank said...

Ya, we’re goin’ to Surf City, gonna have some fun, now

Two bleeths for every…

Two skanks for every douche…

9:26 am October, 30 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Captain Manboobs should have spent some of that tatt money on a gym membership.

.

.

.

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gynecomastia

9:38 am October, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Captain Manboobs and First-mate Johnny Muffin-top. There is reason there are 3 notts, but only one bro is getting any physical contact.

10:24 am October, 30 Vin Douchal said...

T’was a boat with dorks stern to bow

And a chick with udders of cow

But the blonde is a’ight

For a drunken fun night

Cuz pleasing a cocck she knows how

10:28 am October, 30 Vin Douchal said...

I tells ya that blonde ginch is solid

Adept at tossin’ a salad

But these sailors say , “Arr”

Prefer male pooper star

So their point may surely be valid

10:31 am October, 30 Vin Douchal said...

The pose from fat douche on the right

Tells us he had really fun night

With guys from the Navy

Wearing their man gravy

And these women, they give him a fright

10:36 am October, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Captain Manboobs may be Reverend Chad, homeslices.

10:59 am October, 30 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Soft and slightly chunky with the Jameson makes the base of my peni twitch with intrigue.

.

Experience hath demonstrated that women with a little heft and girth self-lubricate far more than scrawny stick girls. Every squirter I’ve had the joy of experiencing was a dame with a few extra pounds.

.

I don’t know if those side handles are full of piss and lube or what, but until you boys have had the joy of getting your balls doused in warm vag water, you haven’t lived life. To bathe in the excess of moisture that a few philanthropic-vagine have to offer, is totally worth the extra couple minutes spent in the laundry room after each sloshing coition.

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The last squirter I regularly lay with was many summers ago, before the dry and barren Mrs.Doucheteau made trips to the person hygene department for tubes of various lubes a monthly ritual. She was a sedentary gal, a little thick around the middle, with great big knockers and soft features that rippled slightly with every impassioned thrust. But when she came, there was no faking it. A scream, a shudder, and a tightening of the pelvic floor muscles were accompanied by a warm feeling flowing down my thighs and the sound of a squirt gun being emptied into a can of refried beans. Heaven.

.

I took to hanging my post-coital sheets on the clothes line in my front yard to dry in the blazing summer sun, flaunting to my neighbors the sight and smell of my couplings.

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So yeah, Jameson girl is most definitely a squirter. Like a barometer, the base of my peni confirms it.

11:01 am October, 30 Et Tu Douche? said...

Milfy McYellow Top, whos ex-husbands boat they’re on, gives me a semi-renob imagining the naughtiness she’s capable of now that she’s free and clear of loveless marriage.

11:04 am October, 30 Et Tu Douche? said...

@JD,

Well said and well done my man, big girls give that extra effort and I’m a fan of said effort.

11:34 am October, 30 Vin Douchal said...

“the sound of a squirt gun being emptied into a can of refried beans”

.

.

This

11:37 am October, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Jacques, I think you are getting peed on.

11:49 am October, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Where’s Dark Sock when you need him?

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12:59 pm October, 30 FredN. said...

Of COURSE the guy who owns the boat is out of shape.

He. Owns. A. Frickin. Boat.

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No need for the gym.

2:39 pm October, 30 Douchble Helix said...

Great job, JD!

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Also, them’s real chicks. The kind that like fucking. Nothin’ wrong with that.

5:58 pm October, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Spic Ocasek

5:59 pm October, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Err wrong thread.

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