Friday, December 14, 2012

HCwDB Smells Like Poo – 2012 ButtNugget o' the Year

DarkSock here, sniffing the Poo for You. So you don’t have to.

I’m offering up the cascading cornapoopia dribbling down the hirsute cursed legs of the foul beast we shall relegate to the anals of history as Twenty-Aught-Twelve.  We wander zombie-like in this Land of the Lost, and these Sleeze-Stacks are the ones who made the loudest “sputta-chutt-chutt” machine-gun staccato  whilst escaping the event horizon of the brown-eyed swirl of the societal balloon knot we call DoucheLand:

Runny-Up # 3The Squirrel and the Vomit

ab reveal equals crab reveal

Ab Reveals? More like Crab Reveals. 10 points to House of Slytherin for Xena of the SkullCrusher Thighs on the left there. *I’d like my c*ckk ring back, dear.  It’s not meant to be an earring.*

Runny-Up #2The BandHoles:

band on the runs

More like Band On The Runs. Ugh. Taking the term “Shitty Cover Band” far too literally. Next…

Runny-Up #1Captain and The Tetanus:

sailing the seas of those golden globes

While we are compelled to gawk at the spectacle that is Captain Chesty McRibMeat and daydream about  sailing ’round her Golden Globes (to quote Jacques Douchetou, “Those cans are so round she lactates marbles”), alas this runny-up goes to The Tetanus. Because he puts the “ANUS” it “Tetanus”.

Smells like Poo 2012Crotchos

Crotchos

Yeah. That’s what I thought. You’d forgotten about this skid-mark on the porcelain bowl of our collective consciousness, didn’t you? Lest there be any doubt or debate…look at this. LOOK AT IT:

*poot*

The world ends not with a bang…but with a *poot*.

Fart,

D.S.

# posted by Bagnonymous
3:00 pm December, 14 The Dude said...

Titanus ftw.

3:27 pm December, 14 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I haven’t seen this much Poo since I contracted dysentery in the Korean War after eating Bad Slope Bing. Bad Slope Bing, I says.

.

And if this dateline was Canada I would worry that The Rev was in custody.

http://tampa.cbslocal.com/2012/12/14/police-man-tries-to-drown-wife-in-dog-bowl-after-fight-over-frozen-pizza/

3:34 pm December, 14 Charles Douchewin said...

Crotchos.

.

Crotchos.

.

A thousand times, Crotchos.

.

Because if after almost a year, I can’t get this image out of my head – I’m takin’ you all down with me.

4:20 pm December, 14 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

Crotchos, yes Crotchos.

.

For the sole reason of…

EVERYONE got laid that night,

but him.

.

True story.

ASvB

4:51 pm December, 14 Et Tu Douche? said...

Disgusting, disgusting I says. The Captain is a pussy look at his sorry ass mug, I bet she took him good the seasoned little harlot that she is.

.

@Rev

Are we wagering this weekend? let me know.

5:17 pm December, 14 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

This is just what I look for in an outdoor bar: the high probability of swarthy ball sweat dripping into my San Miguel.

5:20 pm December, 14 The Dude said...

Sir Charles Douchewin, you have some freakish stuff in that noggin of yours! Yikes. Some funny stuff does emerge, however!

6:09 pm December, 14 Vin Douchal said...

These photos made my CPU smell like hard boiled egg farts

6:38 pm December, 14 Billy The Scrote said...

CROTCHOS IS DOUCHE OF THE MILLENIUM.

7:22 pm December, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Crotchos makes me crave Greek pizza. We cr

7:36 pm December, 14 RevChadloaded gettin ready to smokw weec said...

@Et Tu

.

We’re on, you pick a straight up game. I kind of raped you with a surprise win last week. Speaking of rape I’d like to bang those blondes today and play some Incubus for the dead kids in Newtown, Sweet fuck can’t we profile these people Paget Brewster-style to stop this shit.

.

Pardon Me? Son. Straight from the Akron Event Center,

.

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=incubus+99+video+pardon+me+vevo&docid=4799931730886859&mid=60BE86158A412D9D5EE360BE86158A412D9D5EE3&view=detail&FORM=VIRE5

7:48 pm December, 14 RevChadloaded gettin ready to smokw weec said...

Dark sock’s Banana rocket puts me in a Primus mood. Also this is a shout out to Primo Wallnuts as a new paisan. Son.

.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/5474270/the_prodigy_smack_my_b_tch_up_uncencored_video/

8:50 pm December, 14 Jacques Doucheteau said...

“Lactates marbles.” I forgot about that, and am forced to laugh at my own joke like it was someone else’s, while still knowing it was mine. Gawd, I’m such a pathetic dick.

.

Crotchos.

.

I don’t need to see that again. I didn’t need to see it in the first place. No one needs to see that…ever. And yet there are eight, I count EIGHT, people with cameras out in the frontal shot (not including whoever took the axial photos) documenting this diarrhetic hemorrhage fountain of sac slapping shame “display his wares” like some sort of twisted freak who finds a half-decapitated mouse in the bathroom trap and dangles it in front of their unsuspecting mother and proudly proclaims “look what I caught, Ma!”

.

Yeesh!

5:01 am December, 15 hermit said...

I feel like I should wipe after reading this.

6:07 am December, 15 Douchble Helix said...

I’m suggesting that Crotchos was not in the US.

.

Well, it’s something.

7:17 am December, 15 Wheezer said...

That fuccen Tommy Pak/Kisseus Vomitorious sure gets around, doesn’t it?

9:03 am December, 15 I R A Darth Aggie said...

My eyes! My eyes! Crotchos what have you done?

10:36 am December, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Rev

I’ll take the Stillers straight up v Cowboys, I owe you $20CDN so double or nothing?

1:08 pm December, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Yes Et Tu. Hope Stillers crush em. NFC East is to tight for comfort. Son.

1:28 pm December, 15 Sir Vance of Douchemock said...

Thanks for the perma-scar, Crotchos.

3:50 pm December, 15 Guid is Good said...

You’re looking at the Greek economy right there. Only two people can save it – Crotchos and Angela Merkel in a g-string. The choice is yours.

7:40 pm December, 15 The Dude said...

Merkel, and I hope she doesn’t shave.

9:43 pm December, 17 Stephanie said...

Crotchos,the end of the world is Friday,I heard,and you’re the first to go.

8:28 am December, 18 Ol' Dirty Douchebag said...

Crotchos…groin of fate.

12:43 am December, 19 Little Willie said...

Gay male stripper hangs out in the mens room between gigs and has a fetish for wiping other male asses, giving head and taking it up the backside.Most of the time smelly feces like him get flushed down the toilet or fester on the bus terminal restroom floor after a clogged toilet overflow.

12:03 pm December, 22 hermit said...

Wow

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