Friday, February 10, 2012

Aquabag Mugging Jeannie Represents Explosive Diarrhea In the Face of Society

Apologies for the graphic title, but this pic deserves a graphic title.

Man, my soul hurts. This has been a depressing week in the fight over douchebaggery in presence of hott. Feels like our post Jersey Shore reality is giving way to a resurgence in things like nuclear douchegoggles and hottie headlocks.

Time for a Mr. Pibb over ice for consolation and quiet meditation.

# posted by douchebag1
10:37 am February, 10 Wedgie said...

What time is it?

Rapetiime

10:38 am February, 10 Wedgie said...

PS: I am very bummed because I have those board shorts and now I have to burn ’em tonight. Thanks, Fuckstick.

11:01 am February, 10 Douche of Hazard said...

His watch is blocking out half of her face.

Check out that blood vessel in her arm, possibly a sign she’s about to puke.

11:05 am February, 10 Vin Douchal said...

He needs to slide those goggles up to block the sheen from his slick-assed forehead. Really, dude, it’s a problem

11:06 am February, 10 Fyodor Dostedouchesky said...

Boss, I think the Friday Haiku pic did me in for the week. God is dead. Have a good weekend

11:07 am February, 10 DarkSock said...

Dude needs new girlfriend

With much smaller skull so that

He can see his watch

11:09 am February, 10 creature said...

her face makes me think it would be a beautiful at Santa Anita…

…his face reminds me to wash out rubbish cans

11:12 am February, 10 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

It isnoce to see that Aquabag and his Mom are so close- Maybe even too close.

11:37 am February, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

Those shorts are hideous. I mean just flat out hideous. And what kind of event are they at where she’s in a nice dress and he’s wearing board shorts? The fucking Teen Choice Awards? Next.

11:44 am February, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I wonder if Nancy tapes or tucks her balls out of site.

11:46 am February, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

And board shorts don’t disgust people. People disgust people.

.

Bag Tucker

11:52 am February, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

I knew that would get a rise out of you Rev. Don’t hate cause Ive got brass ones. You’ve been a stay at home wife for too long, I’m out in the real world moving and shaken’, so yeah I’m gonna kick your ass mentally. Deal with it.

11:53 am February, 10 creature said...

with tha rev….hibiscus boardies are very old school (bought my 1st pair at 19 from Katin prior to my 1st trip to islands)….there’s never a shortage of flatland kooks trying to replicate what looks cool just offshore

…& once again ND demonstrates the only tastes she has is in here flapping maw….& that tastes of anus!

12:08 pm February, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

When the fuck did it become fashionable to wear the windshield of an El Camino on your face?

12:19 pm February, 10 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Where did this douche get his alomst-bewb-grab move from? This is what we tried in 7th and 8th grade. That’s and lots of grab ass.

.

nostalgic

12:23 pm February, 10 Wheezer said...

“Never back down” his shirt reads right above those cute flowers. I guess he enjoys backing up instead, especially when donning the wool and at cliff’s edge.

12:30 pm February, 10 Vin Douchal said...

We need ass pear. This is getting depressing

.

.

12:33 pm February, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

Jesus H., Rev and Creatch all I have to do is make fun of your old age and flower shorts and the name calling starts again? Is it really that easy to get your old goats. Fish. In. Barrel.

12:38 pm February, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

If doucheclops here removes his special visor his eyes shoot explosive corn and collared-green laced diarrhea!

12:43 pm February, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^The only thing “moving and shaking” on Nancy are her thighs on the trip to the fridge and her chins when she chews.

12:46 pm February, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Nancy has more Chins than the San Fran phonebook.

12:46 pm February, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Nancy so fat she sits around the house.

12:47 pm February, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Last guy to dump Nancy was her gynocologist. He was lactose intolerant.

12:52 pm February, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Once again my postulate regarding paper bracelets and drinking establishments is proven.

1:11 pm February, 10 Wedgie said...

@Vin:

I didn’t used to think that much of Fontana until you came along. I think you should run for mayor. Just promise to have the Barstool Girls working all the concession stands at the Speedway. Naked.

I’ll vote for you.

2:12 pm February, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

Was that so hard Rev? Missed ya buddy.

4:15 pm February, 10 creature said...

^DC nuff said

4:26 pm February, 10 Stephanie said...

This guy uses that women as a fashion accessory like his hideous watch. Maybe she’ll come to her senses soon.

5:22 pm February, 10 Nostradouchus said...

Boondock Saints fanbois are so 2008. Mr. Pibb is so 1993…..and only one of these is still cool.

9:36 pm February, 10 Blah said...

Evel Knievel can sure pull the hotts.

10:45 pm February, 10 Wedgie said...

Nancy, you wouldn’t know a nice pair of boardshorts if the swam up and bit you on your dick.

1:09 am February, 11 tall guy said...

I wear black boardies. Don’t mind Hibiscus prints and appreciate their history in surfing, surf wear & the surf scene. But I’ve never owned a pair. Way, way back in the day a factory on Pittwater Road, Dee Why named Platts produced board shorts which were very durable and quite stylish.

.

Ever been inside a surf shop these days? Jeebus! You’ll easily find a Rip Curl or Quicksilver retail outlet in the inner-city or at a nearby shopping mall. The only reason I ever go inside them is to ogle blond show pieces.

.

Back around the same time as the Platts factory (it’s a large retail enterprise selling flooring now) myself and several grommie school mates would venture down to Brookvale several times every week after school to also ogle and occasionally be granted an audience w/- Geoff McCoy, Terry Fitzgerald, Simon Anderson, Martin Worthington (responsible for the air brushed artwork on Terry Fitzgerald’s Hot Buttered Surfboards) Barry Bennett, and heaps more. Brookvale was the epicentre of Australian surf design and back then surfing as a business was merely a cottage industry compared to the multi-billion dollar business it now is.

.

In my opinion the expansive growth has not improved things. And Dreuche, I’m not a grumpy old man pining for the past. Most men my age – who are in fact grumpy old men – are too busy shovelling vast quantities of pizza, cheeseburgers, shakes’n’fries into their gobs to ever bother about getting down to the beach.

.

.

Vote #1 for brunette retail assistants.

8:15 am February, 11 tall guy said...

Also Dreuche, I reckon you’d look hott in an Hibiscus print mu-mu, wearing a shell necklace and sporting a ukulele. You might even pass as Polynesian. You got a frizzy afro ‘do?

10:56 am February, 11 creature said...

tall guy, I owned a 5’10” McCoy in the late ’70’s…possibly the best craft I ever rode, tho I was a skinny teen at the time…I’d sink that badboy now!

5:37 pm February, 11 The Dude said...

I’ll never think of explosive diarrhea in the same way. I don’t recall it looking this frightening. Way to Represent, Aquaman. The part of Jeannie that I can see makes a proportional percentage of my board shorts strain under the pressure of a different kind of explosion out of my schmeckle.

.

.

3 for 3!

.

Dr. Schemckle and Mr. Hyde – 4! This is getting too easy.

6:47 pm February, 11 tall guy said...

creature, McCoy is still involved w/- design. He’s made & lost plenty of money over the years. A schoolmate who lived in my street named Ernie (nicknamed after Ernie from My Three Sons) started working at a printers during summer break. An older guy from North Narrabeen, a fellow N. Narrabeen Surfing Fraternity friend of McCoy, worked w/- Ernie & took him down to McCoy’s shop to order an excellent 5’10”. I still remember that board. it was excellent!

8:29 pm February, 13 Bret Easton Douchis said...

Wonder what those hair products would do, once in contact with water? Don’t think it will work for him. I foresee the kind of colours you get with spilled gas at the boat dock.

.

I hate the beach. Moreso now than before.

.

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