Thursday, February 14, 2013

Howlin' Woof

HowlinWoot

Stupid necklaces at the beach, kids.

It may not be puka shell.

But it smells just as stenchuously like the Coney Island Whitefish that wash ashore Miami Beach after high tide on a Thursday.

Giggle Gina’s heaving bosoms are crushed beneath the cultural taint.

# posted by douchebag1
5:42 pm February, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This makes me as mad as a booze-free V Day dinner with kids at a short-staffed Jap restaurant full of french-speaking Pakis with a hot blonde nanny giving me the Bavarian Eye Of Mock and a table of teachers gaggling beside us while the children kept asking for their fucking ice cream and why there are people on a ship full of faeces. Fuck.

6:50 pm February, 14 The Dude said...

hmm. Culture Pillows FTW-ank.

7:04 pm February, 14 Guid is Good said...

Howlin’ Woof and Giggle Gina practice their money shot faces for their auditions out in the Valley later that afternoon.

7:19 pm February, 14 The Dude said...

Sober Kroeger needs a vay-kay!

7:20 pm February, 14 Charles Douchewin said...

Cartesian dualism, applied to Giggle Gina’s heaving bosoms like suntan oil, validates their innate innocence.

.

.

Off frame, a burly lifeguard pees on this guy’s legs to relieve the jellyfish stings, whilst Gina giggles admiringly at the lifeguard’s work.

7:32 pm February, 14 The Dude said...

Define burly. Is it chest hair on huge pecs? Or just really hairy unscaped man? erp, I think I have to throw up now. brb

7:32 pm February, 14 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I think there is a fine line between a hot chick and a tranny. Or maybe not…

.

Rev, what do you think of Maker’s Mark having to water down their booze so they can meet the demand? I for one am quite upset. Or maybe I will just drink more.

.

Indecisives

7:36 pm February, 14 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The assumption that mental phenomena are, in some respects, non-physical, or that the mind and body are not identical, is rendered non compos mentis by the fact that her body has no connection to any concept of “mind” whatsoever. That, and her sandy mons pubis gives me a renoB.

7:50 pm February, 14 DoucheyWallnuts said...

BTW, WTF is going on up there in Canada, eh?

.

http://deadspin.com/5984290/this-tv-news-anchor-just-keeps-doing-an-inadvertent-blowjob-pantomime

8:00 pm February, 14 Et Tu Douche? said...

Dear Rev,

Is it really true the Valentines is thee best night of the year to pick up lonely hotts? I personal prefer Halloween.

8:15 pm February, 14 The Dude said...

Valentine’s Day makes me want to pee in a horse.

9:19 pm February, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Douchey Wallnuts

.

The girls in Saskatoon are odd cause there are only three types of dudes willing to live there: listerine inebriated native thugs, Mennonite sharecroppers, and biotech nerds. The problem with all three is they can’t find or have tragically lost their schwantz. The lack of breathable dust-free air and lack of drapes are causes of oral festering and the need for deep oral massage by way of vibrating devices.

.

@Et Tu

.

i dont know about that but I do know that the day after is the most common day of the year for women to initiate affairs. Extramarital and otherwise. I would choose Halloween myself. Mrs. Kroeger may start a workplace affair with a distinguished gentleman soon cause they just renovated my office to back into hers. And by back into I mean glory hole for passing things to her less than three inches wide.

.

Statistical Fact

.

I was talking to a dude who needs his business assets valued today and was laughing for the first time since this sobriety started. He told me he couldn’t meet until next week cause his frail mother sneezed and developed a prolapsed colon. Fuck it was funny after all my prolapse nonsense back in the good old days which ended last week.

.

I am going for my tox screen and liver tests Tuesday morning and going to get a bottle of Maker’s no matter the alcohol content. I’ll be pretty stoned by time I buy it. Son.

10:29 pm February, 14 The Dude said...

Kroeger’s glory hole joke = me peeing towards a horse. Horsewards.

7:17 am February, 15 Bobel said...

Hate to break it to you, but that picture is from Shane Dawson’s “Douchebag” video where he makes fun of douchebags.

6:55 pm February, 16 Billy The Scrote said...

BOOOBS!!! RAHHH!!!!!

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