Monday, January 28, 2013

Meaty the Sandcrab Makes a Wish, Becomes a Douchebag, Finds Kelly

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…and they lived happily after after.

Or at least until the magic Bacardi ran out, the parking tickets turned into a summons, and the groin rash turned a disturbing shade of purple.

All this, and more! In the long-lost unabridged Aesop’s Fable, “Meaty the Sandcrab And The Magic Lip Herp.”

# posted by douchebag1
2:34 pm January, 28 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Is he asleep? Deceased? This beach reminds me of Pattaya… but if you try sleep walking along Pattaya ten thousand urchins will lift everything you own including the fillings from your teeth. This beach has a disturbing lack of crime… or anything else for that matter… other than these two pieces of driftwood.

2:47 pm January, 28 Vin Douchal said...

He can’t believe there are actual boobies pressed against his being. He’ll probably get a nipple tattooed there later that day

3:24 pm January, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

When you’re the only two people on the beach you clearly missed the signs warning everyone access is closed due to dangerously high toxin levels.

.

No, wait. They put the signs up right after you waddled down to the surf and stuck your planter warts into the water. You just didn’t notice everyone packing up and heading for the parking lot like a scene out of the original “Jaws” when someone saw a finned shaped floatee in a spreading tide of red and started shrieking “Where’s Timmy? Timmy?! TIMMY!!!!!!!!” and a guy in sweet shades but way too-short shorts started yelling “GET OUTTA THA WATA!”

4:12 pm January, 28 Charles Douchewin said...

He’s standing right between the tire tracks. Damn if everything in this life isn’t about timing…

4:15 pm January, 28 Charles Douchewin said...

I think this is a promo shot for a Weekend at Bernie’s reboot.

4:33 pm January, 28 The Dude said...

How did she drag him out of the drainage pipe?

4:41 pm January, 28 Troy Tempest said...

her: look what I found! A great big dumb old douchebag!

him: groooo…

6:39 pm January, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

World’s worst Inukshuk.

.

http://www.inukshukgallery.com/inukshuk.html

1:53 am January, 29 Wheezer said...

This photo is a metaphor as she also holds him up financially.

6:47 am January, 29 DarkSock said...

No…he’s trying to remember the number to “911” because their nipple rings just locked together.

8:52 am January, 29 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Today I learned what an Inukshuk is. Thanks Rev.

9:34 am January, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

No Meaty, she is not food and will not be considered a hotdog on a stick if you try to fuck her standing up.

5:06 pm January, 29 Stephanie said...

Throw him back in the water,don’t give mouth to mouth. Like a fish,he is longer shiny,therefore dead.

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