The Douchies: Douchiest Everything — White Chocolate
As Jean-Paul Sartre once said:
Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.
It would be unfair to attempt to privilege any one of the douchebag specificities of White Chocolate above the rest. Therefore we must award a 2006 Douchie to W.C.’s totality. His “everything.” To award a Douchie for the grill, or the Jesus bling, or perhaps the aqua satin Yankee cap, would be to deny Sartre’s totality of existential douchebaggery.
Sure we could talk about his bizarre facial pube configuration. His multiple outfits. His douchey sunglasses. His inordinately head scratching ability to pull hotties.
But to focus in on any of these specificities would detract from understanding W.C.’s douchiness in its totality. As Sartre understood, douchebaggery, as in life, can only be fully comprehended through the philosophical macro. And in so doing, we bestow a special 2006 Douchie for “Douchiest Everything” to the douche who has everything, White Chocolate.
Good on you, W.C.
