HCwDB of the Year: Bracket 3
The 2009 Douchie Awards continue with the third bracket in the semifinals to determine the three finalist couples for HCwDB of the year. Here’s your finalists:
HCwDB of the Year Semi-Finalist #1 (Bracket 3): Sir Sucks-a-Lot and Taylor
This ridiculous clubby scrotal fungus first appeared on the site as Studs Urkel, and his run of a-list hottitude and ridiculous facial pubes continued here and here.
Sir SAL won the first Weekly of 2009, but barely lost in the Monthly to the Ghoulbag.
Yet his haunting club taint continued to fester.
And so, he’s in the Yearly.
And lets not forget Taylor Dayne Hott, whose unconventional mouth only adds to her sexiness.
But are they enough to knock off the legend…
that is…
Wait for it…
HCwDB of the Year Semi-Finalist #2 (Bracket 3): Smoot and Crystal
From early September, Smoot and Crystal are heavy favorites in Vegas, pulling strong odds to make it to the finals.
And by heavy favorites, I mean pumped up douche-tatts and scrote-face plus sexy brunette popsicle tongue hottitude.
Witness the epic run of HCwDB both with Crystal, and then with assorted floozy hotts:
Pic #2, pic #3 , pic #4, pic #5, pic #6, pic #7, pic #8, pic #9, pic #10 with King D and pic #11.
Epic.
It’s hard to argue with such consistent hyper-real spectacle on display — the personification of Baudrillard’s prediction (building of Guy Debord’s “Society of the Spectacle”) that we would all become, what Immanuel Kant termed, “nodal douche transmission points.”
At least I think that’s what Kant predicted.
Or maybe it was Richard Grieco.
HCwDB of the Year Semi-Finalist #3 (Bracket 3): Mack the Nozzle and Francine
The Nozz’s face taint won the monthly back in October and Francine’s smile still haunts our souls and enlivens our shpants.
While the Nozzle may or may not be a reality TV star on the worst TV network in recorded human history, VH1, we can’t consider anything appearing on VH1 to be remotely famous, so the Nozz remains eligible in the yearly.
And don’t forget this coupling’s run of pics 2, pic 3 and pic 4.
The Nozz even freelance douched it up
And Francine broke off to HC it up here, here and here.
They are legend.
Vegas has them at even odds to make the finals.
HCwDB of the Year Semi-Finalist #4 (Bracket 3): Poo
What’s this???
Poo has stormed the Monthly!!
Oh no he di’int.
Oh yes he did!
Poo has thrown his greased up alien face and muscle mom “H.C.” into the mix for the yearly after only winning a Weekly in March before I moved him to his very own “Closet of Poo.”
But Poo will not be denied.
If Poopaloompa is throwing down, then so is Poo.
Okay, the truth is your humble narrator, the DB1, can’t count to twelve and needed one more entry to fill out the third bracket. Nonetheless, Poo it is.
Select your final coupling for the HCwDB of the Year.
Vote now.
