Thursday, April 8, 2010
Pleasy Punchmyfacekowitz
I’ve known many a Long Island ‘bag who like to bother amateur figure skater cutie older sisters like Tonya here.
But never have I met a Long Island ‘bag with a more appropriate name than Pleasy Punchmyfacekowitz.
It’s Scotch-Romanian.
First (doing Snoopy happy dance)!
He had to have asked for a photo because I would like to believe there is no way she would be with that DOUCHE!!
First coat I’ve ever seen made out of Strawberry Fruit Leather. And that’s the tallest hat I’ve seen on anyone who wasn’t either a Catholic Cardinal or one of the Queen’s Guards.
.
.
See how I said “Fruit” and “Queen” in the same post without making overtly gay references?
There is no hope for this dude. His life peaks at 19 when he has the best shit of his life and eats it out of that furry hood.
Just because someone is white and douchey means they’re Scotch-Romanian?
.
Wow. Just wow.
The thing about this dude is…he ain’t makin’ no face, that IS his face.
It’s Scotch-Romanian.?
No, son…that’s poo.
It’s hard to get a pleather jacket on a piece of poo. I’ve tried.
She’s perky and has tiny tits. That always equals world-class blowjobs.
It’s funny how the hall of hott is right next to where you type.
*fwap!*
Every four years, figure skating shows up in the Olympics and I start seriously lusting for these strangely petite young women. Damn, I’d like to break her in half–or at least try.
.
Also, about once a day (it varies), I drop my pants, sit on the toilet, and take a massive dump. This is what that dump would look like if I put a gigantic sideways hat and Ed Hardy tee on it.
Punchy chewed nervously at the inside of his cheek, trying to ignfore the looks from the crowd as his massive blue testicle burst through the fly of his levis, sending the fake copper buttons flying in different directions with a series of audible “poinps!”
^”ingnore”
Boss,
Where’s the “review” feature ferchrisesake?
^”ignore”
Damn.
As Todd’s lips slowly healed from his drunken attempt to fellate an idling bus’s tailpipe Tina proudly displays her new ear-mounted ankle stirrups.
After the stroke , Pleasy’s mother started dressing him and it was all downhill from there.
Tina is fun at parties. She can raise both her arms and put them all the way through her hoop earrings. And it takes her half a Smirnoff Ice to get wasted enough to think that this guy resembles a good idea.
He sliced that jacket material from Plinky’s Mom’s pulsating bovine cervix with a reciprocating saw.
Cow…Just Cow.
Maybe Tina has a fetish for making mouth-farts on girl sternums as well as a thing for those boobies that look like stretched tube socks with an orange in the toe, and those are sternum-suckle boobie stirrups while she nestles her face and goes BRAPPFTT-BRAPPTPTP!!!.
.
Or not.
Tonya’s got a decent pear going, but she’s a decent candidate for myfreeimplants.com.
Notta hott.
But he’s a dick.
Yeah, I got an avatar bitches!
Pleasy tried his best to conceal the fact that he was Eraserhead’s son.
Tonya’s blue bracelet says BLUESTRONG on it, in support of finding a cure for Pleasy’s chronic massive-blue-ball syndrome.
Giovanni Ribisi looks terrible.
I bet Tonya works the halftime show at the local NBA games. While they play some burlesque soundtrack on the PA, she takes off one earring, and then the other, and proceeds to squeeze and contort her body through each earring, head to toe.
.
…All the while, various fans’ stadium wedding proposals are broadcast on her giant 180-degree-viewing-angle forehead.
His coat is made of Snuffleupagus leather and eyelashes. This asshole killed Snuffie. I hate him even more.
Yankmee Chinstrap in the back is testing the scab around his castrato operation.
@ Bagnonymous
That is a formidable brow…
…
Her forehead is so huge WalMart painted 24 new handicapped parking spaces across it
After attracting this tool, Sonya decided that using Amerigo’s cock rings for earings was a bad idea.
Her forehead is so huge that the makers of The Houston 620 used it as a fluffer area
@ Vin Douchal
…and then a bunch of lazy, fat-ass non-handicapped people parked in them.
.
There I go again, making fun of WalMart shoppers. Wow, just wow.
Small tits, big ass – what’s not to like?
Hat tilt brought to you by Jiffy Pop.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_tfyhzV8tJq8/SvNbGlwjRMI/AAAAAAAANtA/ktdjNiqKFqs/s320/Jiffy+pop.JPG
Some background info.
There’s a HUGE mirror behind them all, on a while wall.
This is a Dance, probably Ballet, studio.
Judging from the physique of Sonja here, I’d guess she takes classes there, and this is some kind of post-event party.
And if she IS a dancer (and she certainly looks like it) there are a few things we can surmise as I have learned over the years:
1. Sonja’s not too bright. Dancers are rarely geniuses. Some are, most are low-normal range (90 – 100).
2. She probably smokes like a house afire.
3. she probably has all kinds of weird eating disorders.
4. Her feet are fucking ugleeee.
5. She’s super highstrung (all the dancers I’ve ever known were mental cases)
6. She probably has some non-debilitating form of ADHD.
7. She may well be dating doucheface here – most dancers I’ve known have TERRIBLE taste in men.
8. She probably has kegels that can crush walnuts, which makes all the rest of her neuroses irrelevant.
Desperately Seeking Boobjob.
i will have to agree with Troy Tempest on this one… her body is banging and the control she can exert over those ever so important little muscles probably makes this douche-nozzle punchface feel like the luckiest guy on earth… until she moves on to an even bigger scrotewank that drives a bmw instead of a camaro. either way, definitely a candidate for the next weekly!!
I’m confused. I know Ed Hardy didn’t start selling clothes until 2002. So why is the dude wearing the giant, sideways trucker hat and the fur lined leather parka a-la Ad-Rock/Mike D circa 1989?
This must be photoshopped.
She could kegel a rubber ball and 20 cents worth of pennies into a lamp cord.
Oh the horrible taint! That is disgusting. Just the look on his face makes me want to firebomb his house and set his Ed Farty t-Shirt collection on fire. The coat and the Abe Lincoln hat are also major offenses.
.
As for the hott, she may not be a 10, but I’d walk over a bed of hot coals for the chance to triple her lutz.
Cuban?
No, Dutch-Irish…
The puffy fay 3/4 hat twist to the right is a sure sign of impotence and inadequate dong length.
Finnish-Smirkov (Smirkovia being a lesser known area of Russia).
Small boobs are good for figure skating as they don’t get in the way of ice maneuvers.
If she’s a dancer, she is definitely a member of the C-Team at the Beaver Sleever, located off the Crotch Summit exit of Highway 81.
Pleasy will never do better than the feeling he got when he bought that hat, instantaneously knowing that, in pairing it with his menstrual-chunk-colored pleather jacket, he would attract retired gymnasts like her who’s bulimia as a 14-year-old took away her ability to ever produce vaginal blood resembling the color of what he is wearing.
Poor Pleasy…
Roundhouse kick to the temple. That is all.
kegels? shit?
that’s the kind of pussy that can pull itself inside out and do pushups….
Dearest Pleasy:
Everything about you makes me want to hurt you. Every. Single. Goddamned. Thing.
Word to da douche!
He and his chin strap douche buddy on the right are probably just off their shift at Jiffy Lube or Discount Tire. They barely had time to put their “goin’ out” clothes on before they showed up to annoy Tonya.
you could win over Tonya by pulling over in a $5,000 car as opposed to Pleasy’s $1,000 car, but that wouldn’t be ethical. NOT ethical at all.
A young Rodney Dangerfield…and yes, his coat looks like it was made out of a Fruit Rollup.
As mediocre as she is, she’s still way too much hott for him. That coat of his is made out of FAIL.
LOL. That was the funniest douche moniker in quite a while, DB1, bravo!