Honorary Douchebeer of the Month: Bud Light Lime
While we’re giving out Monthlies, it’s time to hand out this well deserved honorarium to the douchiest alcoholic beverage to target fourteen year olds since the Zima non-craze of the early 90s.
And I’m including the odious Smirnoff Ice.
Bud Light Lime. For when putting a lime in your beer is too much effort.
Back when HCwDB was only months old, in late 2006, the ad agency team that ran one of the Bud Light campaigns, big fans of the site (and legitimate ‘bag hunters who may still mock among us), were the first group to try to option HCwDB. They wanted to produce a series of ad campaigns for Bud Light with HCwDB as their framework for the campaign. But the Bud executives nixed the deal. They thought the site was too “angry” and that the word “douchebag” could never be said on T.V.
Here’s to you, Beer Executive Geniuses.
Your pandering to the lowest common denominator offends none, and entertains very little. But your beer is always whale piss.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Si3orznbnpQ …..case closed.
Would rather drink PBRNA than this stuff.
Angry? ANGRY ? ANGRY ?.
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This site is too angry? Says who?
Boss, you just insulted whale piss.
Please. Everybody knows you garnish whale piss with lemons, not limes.
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Philistines.
I’m with Boatbutter, “Don’t fruit the beer.” I always hate it when I’m served lime with Corona or orange with Blue Moon. The only fruit I want at a bar had better be soaked in everclear for three days to a year.
v0dka!
I like to put slices of orange in mine while eating blueberries…OH Bud Light Lime, yeah that shit is nasty.
This site is so angry, it kicks kittens when nobody’s commenting.
This site is so angry, it makes the activities in the Playpen seem appropriate for toddlers.
I sometimes fruit my beer, I’ll say it, Blue Moon, Hefeweizen’s, Corona’s, whatever. I mostly drink IPA’s (no fruit obviously) but I’ll fruit it down if the beer calls for it.
If you’re slightly interested in any type of fruit flavor in your beer drink a Belgian Lambic even then you’ll still get mocked by someone enjoying a real beer such as a Piraat or a Troegs Nugget Nectar (that’s if you can find one).
Edgar ain’t got shite on me!!
Amen, Boatbutter. It has been thirteen short years since a beer cleared my lips, but I know there are some things you just do not do to beer, and that is put fruit in it. I once worked in a microbrewery. The owner was a brewer from Dusseldorf and we had a very Germanic brew selection. We made this Weiss beer, it was incredibly cloudy and very malty. You put a dash of something red in it, some kind of very acidic raspberry syrup. People loved it, but I thought it was absolute ass. Just me. Now, you take some nasty-ass pisswater and put lime in it? Beeracolada, indeed. Beer is beer and fruity drinks are fruity drinks. Never cross the streams. And if you do, you’re a pussy-ass pantywaist fruitcake, and you deserve to get a spleen punch from John Wayne’s skeleton.
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Yeah, this site is pretty angry and I don’t help the problem.
( In Leeroyyy Jenkins voice) MEDUSAAAAAAAA OBLONGATAAAAAA! Fuck you, Budweiser, you’re just making date rapes on the campus near my house all the more frequent.
The only thing I like about Bud is the the “Real Men Of Genius” radio commercials.
BLL ain’t got nothin on this
http://images.travelpod.com/users/exploreamerica/usvisits.1175026860.beerx–tequiza.jpg
A guy walks into a bar. The bartender asks,”What’ll ya have?” The guy says,”I’ll take a Bud Light Lime.” The bartender says,”Get the fuck out of my bar.” *rim shot* Hello? Is this thing on? *crickets* That joke KILLED when I did it in Belgium.
The only beer I drink is whiskey; the only fruit I put in it is chipped ice. I may garnish with a booger if I’m trippin’ balls.
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For those of you keeping score, this is the best fuccen booze I’ve e’er poured into my gullet. Notes of vanilla, cinnamon, pepper, and inexplicably, watermelon and freshly mown grass. Outfuccenstanding:
I suspect Bud Lime was invented when one of the custodial staff at the brewery accidentally dropped a green urinal mint into Vat No. 73 and management decided “Fuck it; get the art department on the line for a new bottle design”.
The only beer I drink is Gibsons; the only fruit I put in it is a wee little onion. I never garnish because , well, I ‘m a little shy
True enough, putting some chemically- fabricated- yellow-dyed-monosodium glutamate-lime flavor #24 in a beer sucks. But let’s face it, light beers suck! If you’re going to drink beer, DRINK BEER!
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Don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re somehow being responsible by pounding a twelve pack of “light” beer every night. Drink the real shit, slobber it down your chin, stagger off to bed, and tommorow show the world you ain’t afraid to wear that beer gut with pride.
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It’s like the three-hundred pound woman in front of you at MacDonald’s whose order consists of two Big Mac’s, jumbo fries, a large chocolate shake and oh, a diet Coke, ’cause she’s health concious like that.
This tall glass of liquid awesome makes Bud taste like an elderly clydesdale’s urine.
Bud Lite Lime presents “Real American Heros”
Today we salute you Mr. Really Really Really Angry Website Creator,
While every other guy is hitting the interwebs with his hand wrapped around his weiner,
You hit the interwebs literally, with your hand wrapped around a 10 lb. ballpeen Hammer,
Who knew there were so many people out there who blow off work, family, friends, and personal hygiene to post memorable anonymous screed like “She’s a tranny!”, “I like AssPear”, and “F*ck Fishslap”?
You and your rage management group knew, that’s who.
So open a HoHo and pour your Bud Lite Lime down the toilet Mr. Really Really Really Angry Website Creator,
And pop another Ritalin with the hand that isn’t carressing the orange boobies on your monitor screen
The only beer I drink is warm because I am a tough fuccker like that. For my breakfast beer I add low-sodium V-8 juice, Frank’s Hot Sauce, and Raw Apple Cider Vinegar for my gout. If I am conscious after supper the only beer I drink is single malt or Bombay Sapphire with lots of olive water. That is the way the Kroeger’s roll. The kids only get BLL.Pussies.
I like orange boobies and agree with S.Pole about the diet drink. There is no use eating at McDonald’s unless you have 20 items off the dollar menu and puke it up with cheap beer.
I tried Bud Light Lime once, when it first came out. I couldnt even finish it, and I will drink just about anything containing alcohol. It doesnt taste like bere or lime.
I thought Clydesdale piss would have been the more obvious comparison.
The only beer I drink is Jack Daniels. The only fruit I put in it is sour mix squeezed from the contraceptive sponges hidden deep in the fiery and shrubby vaginas of Latin American cocoa processors. Because I’m sensitive like that.
Bud will never be as awesome as this:
http://image2.onlineauction.com/auctions//39586/vkfr-951349-1.jpg
The only alcohol I drink is whiskey, whisky, vodka, gin, tequila, wine, sake, beer and moon shine. I also make my own beer. IPAs mainly. And hopefully soon I will make my own moon shine/whiskey. Because I am a drunk like that.
I pissed on a lime wedge once. Countdown to liquor time and I’m fuccking mad cause I can’t find my olive water.
The Mrs. and the Mrs. and the Mrs. beer of choice:
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@the Reverend
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It’s on the keg where you left it.
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Lush.
Mr. Reeve can have my moonshine recipes and educational resources as my pancreatitis and cirrhotic liver have ended my hobby of acute alcoholism. I have levelled off to chronic at the request of the interventionists. Dollar a bottle 95% booze is the bomb. Fuck Fish Slap. I miss my still.
@Mr. Scrotato Head
You are correct sir. Kroeger out.
To make the night extra douchey have some of these with your bud light lime….
^Try again dude.
Rev, I will gladly take them off your hands.
Damn cheetoh fingers…
I don’t care about beer. I write only to protest against the posting of any photo on this site which does not contain, at the very least, a somewhat attractive female, and preferably, boobies/cleavage/pear/nipplage/holy blue triangle.
We now return to our regular programming.
Christ, I haven’t tasted such shit in supposed “beer” form since, well, I don’t even know when I’ve tasted “beer” that shitty.
Every time I see a pizza, sausage, or cheesesteak I see that fat fucker Guy Fieri’s face. Am I gay or do I hate the fuccker.
I’m a big fan of Northern Dark Ales. My fave – Theakston’s Old Peculier.
http://www.theakstons.co.uk/ales/classics/oldpeculier.html
Budweiser? I just don’t drink it. I don’t care WHAT version it is – regular, lite, lime – wut-evaaaah. The stuff is crap. And a huge amount of it is made in Newark NJ out of the bilge they scoop up out of the Rahway River. don’t believe this piss in made in Newark NJ, armpit of the nation? Here:
http://www.anheuser-busch.com/images/Newark_a.JPG
Someone offers me Budweiser, I usually decline and ask for juice. The weak crappy head splitting buzz you get from that bleary swill isn’t worth it.
Bud Light Lime will crush Old Milwaukee in the yearly.
Unfortunately, they don’t import Theakston’s into Ontario. So I can only get it in the States. We do get a good selection of imports:
http://www.thebeerstore.ca/Beers/brandsearch_results.asp?category=Imported+Brands
It’s not a GREAT selection, but adequate.
Toronto the Good. Ugh. Then again, the crime rate is practically nil, so it does have its benefits.
@ Troy.
Have you ever tried Mackeson’s Triple XXX Stout? That is my second favorite beer (Chimay rules!). I once actually lost count of how many I had one night (I affectionately refer to it as my “night of a 1000 beers”) because they are so tasty. Lately I’ve become partial to Samuel Adams Double Bock and their Imperial White. Fuccen grocery store has a million shit beers and these are the only “good” ones I can find.
The only beer I drink is lumber. The only fruit I put in it is 12 penny nails, and I stir it with my shotgun nipples. Because I’m sensitive like that.
Ha! That’s not a beer its a Tranny! Fags!
Since that Whitney bitch kicked me out the only beer I snort is Bolivian. She is one whiney cougar yo. Cobwebs and shit in her ayasss. When da drool starts going down my troat like Diddy’s spunk after I shit my draws I chus a few Colt 45 forties ayiight. My pergagative yo you angry mutha fuckers.
For strictly scientific reasons I bought a twelve pack of Bud Light Lime, and I’m starting to have a change of heart.
Evidently there is enough medical waste, raw sewage, road salt, crack, heroine and LSD in the Rahway River to cause my wife to look like yesterday’s library hott after my seventh.
That’s really some pretty good shit.
I was once given a personal tour – as opposed to a group tour – over a large brewery. The beer was 4XXXX and the brewery was in the state of Queensland. What surprised me the most wasn’t the massive scale of the operation, which is fairly common for mainstream beer brands, it was more the fact that the brewery sold practicallly ever residual product used in the production of beer. Gas, used hops, malt, barely etc were all sold on afterwards and, so I was told, there was a ready market for each one. The place was a goldmine. It’s little wonder that so much money can be made available for marketing ghastly new ideas. For the record, 4XXXX is your bog standard insipid swill-style of beer. Local varients of the douche suck the stuff down like there’s no tomorrow. And after sucking down a shedload of it they usually find their tomorrows are vague and cloudy todays.
@ Dark Sock
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A word of advice; follow your heart, never trust your shotgun nipples. They’ll lead you down the path of destruction.
Soul Cleansing Dept.
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Once, on our way to a college break ski trip in New Hampshire , I with a bunch of friends peed in the Merrimack River upstream from the Busch Beer plant.
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Sick thing is Busch beer was all we drank from that point forward because we KNEW our piss had made that beer better. And it did. Still does.
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Don’t tell anyone. M’kay?
Beer is good. Especially a good microw brew. California and Oregon have tons. This beer is like drinking Jebus’ piss, chicken ovaries and cow sphincter all in one cup. Do not ask me how I know.
I prefer Maker’s Mark. It gets me where I need to be……asleep.
Beer is 95% water; ergo beer drinkers are who-bag jump-offs. Beer is only good for filling the pan while smoking gross quantities of turkeys and other various poultries.
my god u know your a bunch of losers right? this site alone is sad enough but now you losertards r sittin round talkin bout how beer is “douchey” wtf c’mon thts jus pathetic beer is beer drink it down n shut up unless u aint man enough to commit to the fact ur so insecure u dont think youd hav the confidence to order a beer with lime in at a bar hah i believe that!
^Spell check next time fucktard!
I drink Mexican beer and every time they ask me if i want a Lime in it, I ask them ” Do i look like a fucking yuppie”
no give it to me NFL
No Fucking Lime
damn forgot my name
its still NFL
by the way, the Mexicans never ask
Man them fuckers are smart
The only beer I drink is Ny-Quil, and the only fruit I put in it is when I allow Perez Hilton to stir it with his finger.
@ Poultry Turd
lol
That Pudgy former fat bastard is the Douchebag of the decade
As an award winning homebrewer and great beer lover I am offended by marketing shit beer to morons.
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“Ohhhhh, look the hole in the can is a little bigger!”
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“Wow! This bottle has some ridges to make the beer swirl around as it comes out!”
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One problem here… it’s the SAME SHITTY PRODUCT!!!!
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How can people not want to drink something that TASTES better than the shit they’ve been inundated with via marketing? I will never get it.
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I say all this as I sip my homemade Belgian Dubbel. Life is good… life is good. Except when douchebags are around.
@ mc 900 foot
What about the can that changes colors?
or the new cool ways to get the 12 pk open and lets not forget the one thats made to hold ice like a cooler, shit we were throwing ice in 12pks the way they were back in the 70’s, beer didnt last long enough for the cardboard to get soggy, course we drank shit then too.
I brewed for awhile, i just hated all the time i put in and fucked up a batch because i didnt clean something well enough, Stupid sterilization issues.
that reminds me, i have a beer in the freezer, 15mins makes it just right and no color can…wow!
This beer is not whale piss, it is OWL piss.
The only beer I drink is motor oil. The only fruit I put in it is my own piss after eating 37 tangerines in one sitting.
It might just be a Canadian thing, but I must inquire anyway. Sometimes when I am really fucken drunk, which is by noon except on Sundays when my ministerial obligations delay my catatonic state until the end of the first NFL game, I put on my chef outfit and run around the house chasing kids with a knife yelling “..That isn’t fucking lobster, it’s crab you idiot, get the fuck out of my restaurant you asshole this is Hell’s Kitchen.”
Is this a common problem and where the hell is my olive water. Sorry for the run-on sentence but I roll like that.
I gotta go with the good old standby. Leinenkugel’s…the pride of Chippewa Falls.
eau de urea is what i would call it.
i’d rather drink a fat man’s swill actually
also…while we are on it. i own the domain bumweiser.com and have no idea what to do with it. mighty db1…perhaps you and your illustrious cohorts can enlighten me or inspire me in time.
I tried BLL. Once. When asked by the bartender what I thought of it, I said that was hideous.
The only beer I drink is tampon squeezin’. The only fruit I put in it is the menstruations of Kevin’s Mom. I am full on Kevin’s Mom.
the only beer i drink is Colt 45. because it’s 8% in Canada (i heard it’s 5% in the US) and it has a wholesome malty flavor.
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okay okay when i sat down with Mr. Scrotato Head i had 2 pints of Kokanee. who the fuck is gonna carry Colt in cans / bottles / draft at a bar?!
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Kokanee is probably a douchey beer too, but the waitress recommended it to me, so i didn’t want to be too much of a prick, and went along with it.
@Mr.Reeve
The first thing you need is high quality high alcohol turbo yeast, a 30L pail, and 8 kg of white sugar.After you perfect your first good batch of clear gas line antifreeze you can try more complex fuels. You will need a still of some sort unless you want to make 40 proof sugary booze. Mine was a Dukes of Hazzard type which I was forced to destroy to prevent a costly divorce because Mrs. Kroeger’s car was too fast.
This website and the Reverend Chad do not endorse the making of ethanol for purposes other than transportation and vehicle maintenance in colder climates.
wait that’s not right at all!
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*AHEM*
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the only beer i drink is Jameson Irish Whiskey. or Everclear 190 when i can get my hands on a bottle. but that stuff isn’t legal in most of Canada.
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i just sip Jameson from the bottle. i’m too cheap for mixers or garnishes. however, i always pour Everclear 190 into a shot glass to make sure i don’t drink too much of it at a time. because college students have lost their lives drinking this stuff.
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and yeah i also occasionally try out the fancy scotch / bourbon stuff. crucify me.
Fuck a bunch of buttwiper beer not even for free is it drinkable.
i remember a buddy came over for a football game once, brought budweiser, sat in my fridge for a year until miss turdacious used it in some sort of beer batter shit.
Of course i did not tell her it taste shitty, even hammered drunk , i know better then that
Fellas, the best beer in the world is Innis & Gunn from Scotland…it’s the #1 specialty beer in Canada, and it’s making it’s way in more US states.
It’s oak aged beer. Beer aged in whiskey barrels to give a whiskey taste…it tastes even better when you have a shot of whiskey right before tasting the beer..
Check em out:
http://www.innisandgunn.com/
I am a full-on hypocrite, because Bud Lime bugs me, but I think nothing of squeezing a lime into a Corona to chase my tequila with. So I must disqualify myself from this discussion. But not before I say that Bud Lime is completely gay.
Good night.
^And by good night, I mean my next action will be to take my anger out on my neighbors with a few well-placed bullets. Gosh, I am so angry. Even my anger has anger.
Shooting things seems to help.
Situation says, :
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The only beer I drink is Jersey Shore Lite Lime . The only fruit I put in it is Snooki’s popped labia zits
Vin Scully says:
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The only beer I drink is fermented Dodger Dog water . The only fruit I put in it is Charlie Steiner’s discarded Depends
Arthur Kade says:
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The only beer I drink comes with a little umbrella in the glass . The only fruit I put in it is a cumload from anyone that says he’s a Hollywood producer
Stackhouse says:
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The only beer I drink isMichaelob Ultra . The only fruit I put in it is my own distorted , bloated, myopic fucking crazy ego
Going to the archives for this one…
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SpursFan says:
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The only beer I drink is Cosmos . The only fruit I put in it is discarded jock straps from large, sweaty black men
@musicman. yes innis and gunn is getting big here with non dbags. my buddy and I always have a couple when dropping by the lcbo…i’ll add in guinness, kilkenny, creemore, or sometimes boris organic. innis and gunn has a new flavour soon also. i’m hyped to try it
I like Mr. White’s Amber Bock, myself. Like all good euro brews, it’s better served warm.
Fuck Fish Slap. That’s all i gots tonight!
Whale Piss, and Whale Piss Lite – The Taste of Krill That Thrills.
135 trillion anchovies can’t be wrong.™
I drank out of a bus tub once. If I splurge it’s Real Ale’e Phoenix Double ESB from Blanco, Texas. 9%.
The only beer I drink is Thunderbird and the only fruit I put in it is grape peels.
Personal favorite, Unibroue Terrible
Strong Dark Ale 10.5%
I like Olympia
its the water and alot more
Bear Whiz Beer is better than Budweiser.
It’s Billy Beer for me, ’cause I’m nostalgic that way.
Thank you Rev.
I read this entire damn log and couldn’t find a single one of you that drink Fat Tire. Does no one on here drink Fat Tire? I like other other beers too, but I thought surely some stand up muthafuckas like you guys drink Fat Tire.
Fat Tire is beloved.
Fat Tire is good. Stone IPA and Arrogant Basterd are even better. Ruination is a great double IPA.
@Musicman^
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Being a lover of all things whiskey I will have to seek and out and enjoy those beers.
@ Mr. Scrotato Head…
Do it…it’s a little more expensive per bottle (its about $2.45 per bottle here in Canada – $4.95 for a limited edition – Example: Rum cask at Christmas time)
It’s the best damn money to ever spend..Beer can be very expensive, and shitty beer is expensive too…so this is a wise choice.
There is an Innis & Gunn fan page, as well as a group on Facebook…the admins are the owners, and they give updates on new releases and things.
For other Canadians in here (or some Americans who get some Canadian beer)…Mill Street brewery makes fantastic beer, as well as Whistler Brewing Co. based out of Whistler, B.C….they make a fine lager beer.
I don’t like most beers, either because it’s too gassy, too much hops, and too strong of an aftertaste…while a strong beer is good (I love Guinness with BBQ Chicken wings), Innis & Gunn is super smooth, allowing for a more pleasant tasting experience.
I like Turtles
Mmmmm… Arrogant Bastard!
I also enjoy Stone IPA, Guinness (if I can find any around here on tap don’t enjoy the bottled as much), la fin du monde 🙂
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Ah shit who am I kidding, I drink Bud Light, steel reserve, Joose, I’m pretty much like John Candy in “Going Berserk” where they keep offering him drinks while he’s driving the limo. He says no, but he takes what’s handed to him. You can hand me a bud light lime and I’d say no this is douche beer and sucks, while I pour that thing down my gullet. Let the mock of me begin I don’t care I’m an alcoholic, but I’m an honest alcoholic…
I’m too classy for BLL
[IMG]http://www.thebarleyblog.com/images/label-thirstydog-leghumper.jpg[/IMG]
There’s a little brewery in Eugene, Oregon called Ninkasi (named for the ancient Sumerian goddess of beer) that makes the absolute best IPA outside of England. Nice and hoppy at 65 IBUs, they call it “Total Domination”, and it does at that.
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If libatious_dude calls anything piss-yellow and under 5% “beer”, he may as well go back to drinking Mike’s with the rest of the sorority girls. I gave up drinking Bud by the time I was six and had already moved up to Guinness. Two words for this guy: “Yer” and “gay”.
^I have had that IPA. It is good. I prefer West Coast style IPAs over the original English style IPAs.
IPA’d in a horse once.
I’m s’prised Scrotato Head hasn’t quaffed on potato beer. It has a mighty fine head on it.
Bad beer is fine when thrown into beer bread batter, where the yeasty contents do their part in getting a rise outta the ensuing loaves.
LaBatts Blue gets me going batty. but I really miss the days of easily purchased Stroh’s. And these days, what with so many microbrews available, who isn’t content with the local color?
And if you’re not, then PISS ON IT!
I hope Jacques Doucheteau realizes that Guinness is about 4% alcohol. Irish stout is a fine example of light beer.
@ Douchebo Baggins…
That’s very true..I think Guinness only has 125 calories per pint…largely due to little or no sugar.
I dont think so guiness is quite different in appearance, taste and formation to light beer such as coors or bud light.
In conclusion…
Thank you DB1. This type of flavoured crap should be mocked for what it is.