Thursday, October 14, 2010

HCwDB on Black Velvet

Now, for only three easy payments of $19.95, you can own your very own HCwDB oil painting!

Hanging beautifully over your fireplace, or in your den, this mass produced artwork is a surefire conversation starter. Now you can dazzle your guests with hottie/douchey artwork for years to come!

And, if you’re one of the next twenty callers, we’ll even through in a free crotch rash! That’s a $9.99 value, your for free, just pay shipping, handling and Valtrex subscription.

Order now!

1-888-BAG-ITCH.

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# posted by douchebag1
Links n' stuff:
3:42 pm October, 14 Bigphatnotadouche said...

I love Vegas porn conventions.

3:44 pm October, 14 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

I would ensconce myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable.

3:45 pm October, 14 massengill said...

The artist depicts Brad Pitt in the alternate future of Back To the Future II.

3:51 pm October, 14 Wedgie said...

I love hookers.

3:52 pm October, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

One of those dudes is Rick Sanchez in his new role as unemployed anti-semite douche. Baby Spice is a little chubby but all kinds of sploogetabulous. The guy Baby’s with is remarkably poorly dressed, he reminds me of somebody who would love my nuts. This may be Vince’s Slap Chop Pro reveal party at the Wynn. Fettucine, linguine, martini, bikini.

3:54 pm October, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The guy who is remarkably poorly dressed appears to have a Yeti morphing out of his, pants?

4:00 pm October, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

If you look very carefully at the photo you will find the reverse image of Massengill’s avatar. Hint: It is on an IPod or camera thingy. Spooky. I must drink.

4:07 pm October, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Douchey Lewis
.
SERENITY NOW!
.
.
Michael Imperioli’s career really went into the shitter after The Sopranos ended.

4:18 pm October, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Why is Donald Fagen next in line for the PTP almost-hott?

4:19 pm October, 14 Vin Douchal said...

@Db1
.
Get all these fuckers playing poker on velvet and I’ll buy one for the garage AND the man cave

4:22 pm October, 14 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche gets the prize for spotting the Seinfeld reference. Maybe I am a nerd…could Fenton be right?

4:42 pm October, 14 C. Alice Hardon said...

The photographer’s ghostly image will forever haunt my days, and fill my nights with tortured, demonic thoughts.
If my family is found hacked to death with a garden weasel, don’t blame me.

5:07 pm October, 14 Wedgie said...

D.Lewis & News
Fenton may be right about one thing. I would let you know what it is, but he hasn’t written it yet.

5:37 pm October, 14 Fenton Hardy said...

@ Wedgie

I knew someone was talking about me…my ears were burning! Don’t worry. I would never rip on someone for a Seinfeld conversation. Though, with your name, I would be worried about George’s high school gym teacher.

5:50 pm October, 14 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

@ Fenton “Cant-stand-ya, cant-stand-ya!” I believe that was an atomic-wedgie by the way.

5:54 pm October, 14 mr.reeve said...

Sum 41 and PTP hottness?

6:28 pm October, 14 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Fenton Hardy: You’re my dream/nightmare. You used to post on here awhile back but you were a lot less, to use the vernacular of this site ” douchier”. Is there a Mrs. Hardy, or is she still tied up in your basement?

7:01 pm October, 14 Fenton Hardy said...

@ Nancy

Once I severed her arms and legs there was really no need to keep her tied up. That’s a joke! I’m not really Dexter…or am I?

There is no Mrs. Hardy, but perhaps someday we will solve a case together. All I will say about my recent postings is that I can’t stand ad hominem attacks, which seem to be this site’s stock in trade.

7:19 pm October, 14 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Thanks, but no thanks.
I’ll just stay with my black velvet Elvis painting. I like his kind of cortch action.

7:19 pm October, 14 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Fenton To quote another great commentater on this site, CBS, “Tru dat.”

7:20 pm October, 14 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

damn… that’s CROTCH action.

Couch action.
Torch action.
Scorch action

7:43 pm October, 14 Fenton Hardy said...

@ Nancy
I like your style. You and my boys Frank and Joe should get together sometime.

8:11 pm October, 14 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Whoop—I knew I wasn’t the only one here with a velvet Elvis ;) Mr. White, wouldn’t you say this one would be smashing in The Playpen?

8:22 pm October, 14 Tom Choad said...

@Fenton, 7:01
.
Hilarious. You can’t stand ad hominem attacks on a site predicated on mocking people? You don’t seem to understand how this works.
.
Oh wait, sure you do– you have repeatedly attacked everyone here as pathetic losers, even though you can’t seem to get enough of interacting with us. When you’re totally desperate to hang out with people you think are nerds and losers, what does that make you?
.
I guess you just can’t stand ad hominem attacks unless you’re making them.

9:06 pm October, 14 Troy Tempest said...

^^^what tom said.

9:21 pm October, 14 Fenton Hardy said...

@ Tom

I like your hysterical reactions. I like the fact that I’ve disturbed your safe little world wherein you ridicule people based solely on their appearance and congratulate yourselves as being superior. You are pathetic losers, with a few exceptions. Just want to make sure you all know that.

And speaking of pathetic losers, how about the Giants? The great thing is, I could be talk about the San Francisco Giants or the New York Giants. I hate ‘em both!

A: I’m talking about the San Francisco Giants.

9:33 pm October, 14 Steve L. said...

$19.95? an HCwDB oil painting has to be worth more than an Ed Hardy shirt.
… on second thought, one should never complain about underpricing.

10:30 pm October, 14 Douchetacular said...

Does the painting come with a free Affliction t-shirt?

10:43 pm October, 14 Wheezer said...

Any black velvet “art” on my walls would be either “Dogs Playing Pool” or “Dogs Playing Poker.” ‘Cuz dat’s badazz, yo mo-fo’s!

1:17 am October, 15 Snowdouche's vegaterian brother said...

Or.. you could just vomit on a cardboard box and let it dry.

1:18 am October, 15 Snowdouche's vegaterian brother said...

Or you could just vomit on a cardboard box and let it dry.

1:18 am October, 15 Snowdouche's vegaterian brother said...

My bad. Fucking wordpress.

2:03 am October, 15 New Balance Shoes said...

my God, i thought you were going to chip in with some crucial insght at the end there, not leave it without an summary.

6:34 am October, 15 DarkSock said...

I’m gonna give Fenton a few more shots at being interesting, then he’s gettin’ the Spam button.

8:47 am October, 15 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Fenton
.
.
.Ummm, am I one of the exceptions? Not that I care or anything, because your opinion wouldn’t matter a hill of beans.
.
.
.
.
So. Anyways. You know, am I?

3:28 pm October, 15 Stephanie said...

So, wait, that’s black velvet painting from colors/pigment of douche bags? Then, I’d order several.

9:10 pm October, 15 Tom Choad said...

Damn, I hope Fenton tries again with another account and gets to read this. My comments on your twaddle are anything but hysterical. They’re the model of reasoned response. Even when I called you a stupid asshole. I gave reasons for it, remember? But you have not shown the best grasp of English, anyway, so “hysterical” is probably just another word you don’t understand.
.
You give yourself too much credit, which is to say, any at all. You haven’t disturbed anyone’s world. If anything, your insipid comments have only given us more opportunities to mock. We don’t have to see a douche to know one, after all.
.
Cling to your sports fandom, for it must be the only thing that gives your life meaning, considering the time you keep dedicating to a site you deem beneath you.

2:38 am October, 17 iDouche said...

Tom SHOW ME YOUR WAR FACE

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