Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Most Annoying ‘Bagling: Little Skippy

There will never be another He Just Bangs Bitches and Drinks. But we can dream. Nancy Dreuche hands out the award:

—————

Dear T. Mills,

Your music is horrible and here is why you suck.

First off, who brags about f#@king a white girl? News flash guy, everybodys done that. In fact as I type this at least 10 white girls are seeing the business end of schling schlong. So no, I give you no street cred points for that. And who cares if she’s got a neck tattoo? You’ve got a neck tattoo. Is anyone singing about banging you? No, because they keep their shame to themselves. Rap about pounding some nun meat and I might buy your album.

Which brings me to my second point. According to Wikipedia (damn you for making me do extra outside research on you, you little douchebag.) Mills second album was released for free under Colombia Records. Damn right it was released FOR FREE. At least you have your finger on the pulse of your fans. Noones willing to pay you for your ear garbage you caucasian schtooping white boy from the “mean streets” of Riverside, California. Ooh Riverside, I heard they had a Dairy Queen that got robbed pretty bad awhile back.

And finally, what do you think you’re gonna end up doing once your “music” career doesn’t take off. My prediction? You’re gonna end up selling yourself and shitty weed to anybody that will pay for it. Because who would hire an entitled, no talent freak whose self confidence is purely chemically generated and not derived from actual accomplishments or any real artistic talent?

Word to your poor single mother,

Nancy Dreuche

P.S. Leave a dimebag for me at the usual pick up spot. Thanks in advance.
——–

# posted by douchebag1
4:13 pm December, 13 Wedgie said...

Little Skippy…..creamy or chunky style? Cellblock D wants to know.

4:26 pm December, 13 Melvil_Duchi said...

“nun meat” for the win

4:28 pm December, 13 Douche Springsteen said...

Q. What kind of meat does a priest eat on Friday?

A. Nun.

4:34 pm December, 13 Vin Douchal said...

Nice. It’s not bad enough I have to see tools like this everywhere I go here in the I.E., now we’re letting them use up valuable studio time?
.
BTW, it’s not like there’s a raging river in Riverside like there is in say, Laughlin , NV. The only water you see there is in concrete pathways draining off the mountains in springtime. It’s a great place for the local gangs to dump bodies, needles, car parts and used nun meat wrappers

4:36 pm December, 13 Nancy Dreuche said...

Im in the middle of a pretty shitty day. And then I read this. That dime bag better be there this time if that little douche knows anything about good customer service. If anyone needs me to holler at your kids for you give me a holla. Just wait, our Lil Skippy is gonna turn his life around based on this. Oh and DB1 didn’t post my runners up, two of them were other lil video douchebags and the last one was me.

4:38 pm December, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Amazon keywords are jumping at the comments section so pretty soon I am going to be re-directed before I can comment on Nancy Dreuche and her excellent choice of this little piece of trash. I have never seen a pink Range but I have done the others things .
.
Beat you Amazon keywords attack. In honor of Nancy’s proper use of the word “Noones”. I present to you live from the MTV awards in somebody’s pants. The lady that Noones would bang without a welder’s mask, a snorkle, a hook and ladder company and the CDC on high alert. Noones fool, ND’s favorite douchebag whores from parts unnoones, Courtney Love and Hole.
.
This is just depressing. Metal day was more fun and may continue.
.

4:44 pm December, 13 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ @ Rev
.
I’ll see you that and raise you this:
.

.
What the fucck are they doing in your part of the world Tall guy? I know the outback is pretty sparse mate but jeez….

4:46 pm December, 13 Wheezer said...

Is anyone singing about banging you? No, because they keep their shame to themselves.
.
Salty.
Fuccen.
Tears.

4:53 pm December, 13 Stephanie said...

Large dime bag with no sticks and stones for Dreusche.
Good take down.

4:59 pm December, 13 Et Tu Douche? said...

That a girl Nancy Dreuche, a very good choice indeed!!!.

4:59 pm December, 13 Wedgie said...

Nun meat will now be permanently enshrined in the HCwDB lexicon. I squirted a few salties myself when I read that. Fuccen funny Nancy D. I have seen a pink range, and it scarred me for life.
But at least all her clothes are new.

5:20 pm December, 13 Mr. Biggs said...

“Is anyone singing about banging you? No, because they keep their shame to themselves.” Well put. Apply this rule more often.
You know, usually I can’t watch these train wrecks longer than 30 seconds. This one I couldn’t avert my eyes. Maybe it just makes me happy that all the douchebag fuck-monstrosities of my generation spawned this new generation of baglings. And the righteous shall rejoice at the awesome karmic justice of the cosmos.

5:25 pm December, 13 Douche of Hazard said...

You think you’re the only one who fucked a Mary Kay salesperson? Nice job Druece.

5:26 pm December, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Another song for Nancy from Dicy’s secret layer in the Reichstag, The Scorpions. Maybe not douchebags but still way too Euro for me, playing their smash Breakout hit….”Noones Like You.”
.
Hit it Thoren, Max, and Adolf you nazi fuckers!.
.

.
And that was some bad metal Dr. Bunsen.
.
Nunmeats
.

5:44 pm December, 13 hermit said...

Sally Fields=Flying Nunmeat
.
Plinky’s mom= Noone’s Meat

6:11 pm December, 13 Medusa Oblongata said...

Fists Rabbis Badger, now Nun Meat. I see a pattern emerging here. A stunning job, Dreuche. “Word to your poor single mother” voided the warranty on this computer via a swig of water.

6:18 pm December, 13 CB Popped said...

Couldn’t wouldn’t and can’t make it past 14 seconds of this guys vid – buy love the Dreuche Dissection.

It’s all so surreal.

6:27 pm December, 13 troy tempest said...

Autotuned monotone rap music by a loser suburban white boy. FML.

6:29 pm December, 13 Wheezer said...

I say someone should cull this site for all of the little lexiconical (It’s a word; ask Mr. White) goodies and start up our own reference page. What a list:
.
nun meat
porch beef
hatter
fuccen
John Largeman
weepsterbate
.
Now I know we have more than that, so you guys gotta help a Wheezer out. And then we gotta think of something cool to call that reference page. But something such as “Hilarious Commentary with Dictionary Backing” may tread on some copyrights…..

7:15 pm December, 13 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Rev, finally some music we can agree on. Nun fuckin’ Scorpions FTW. My new jam, No One Likes Me, I mean No One Like You.
.
@The rest a ya, thanks for putting up with me, I’m sort of incorageble sometimes, but it was an honor to write this thing off even though i tried to pass it off like a doobie to RevChad. Well I’ll stop honkey lipping this comments thread, bring on the rest of The Douchies!

7:24 pm December, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Stellar as usual ND.
.
Watching this video has the same effect on me as drinking too much egg nog, and by that I mean it gives me the craps.
.
How do you get a Nun pregnant?
You fucc her.
.
Sphenisciphobes

7:42 pm December, 13 Wedgie said...

Medusa:
I don’t know how to fist rabbis badger, but I will watch you try it. Just make sure it’s not the honey badger, ‘cuz honey badger just don’t give a shit.

9:34 pm December, 13 DarkSock said...

“Word to your poor single mother” FTW. It ain’t easy up in dis Riverside strip mall recording studio, y’all.
.
Free Columbia-released album = his uncle works in middle management at Columbia Records. Or used to.
.
schtoopers.

9:55 pm December, 13 Medusa Oblongata said...

I meant ‘First’. Derp. Although fisting a Rabbis Badger would be fit for the upcoming Hannukah, eh?

12:17 am December, 14 Nostradouchus said...

Dear T. Mills,

Bragging about sex is like bragging about your dick size: If you have to do it, it probably isn’t true.

With that in mind, please think your lyric out a little more carefully.

Sincerely,

The folks at HCwDB

12:22 am December, 14 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy needed a good mocking like he needs an anal fisting: it’s already what his life can be summed up as. Nice beat down N.D.

12:42 am December, 14 tall guy said...

Nice one, Dreuche! You must have got in there just before his roadies hit the stage… He’s got country and western dat boy!

3:33 am December, 14 Douchebag Appologist said...

Wow! And here I was thinking Fred Durst’s lyrics couldn’t be topped.

3:39 am December, 14 tall guy said...

@ Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche, sheesh, that dog! Good YouTube find, dude! Not sure where it might have been shot. Pretty sure it must be somewhere in Northern Territory mainly because Dingo’s are a protected species.

3:44 am December, 14 tall guy said...

Also, Dreuche, my haste to get out the door earlier on tonight. inhibited my effusiveness. Your work is priceless and I take it I should avoid Riverside, Cali when finally I make it over to your fair shores? Tough ‘hood, eh?

6:07 am December, 14 SonnyChibaChoad said...

quality application of brass verb-knuckles, ND.
.
.
.
porch nun meat-hitters

6:33 am December, 14 CB Popped said...

Mats Jabs is such a fuccen great lead guitarist.

7:35 am December, 14 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@ Nancy Dreuche
.
Salty. Fukken. Tears. Very well done.
.
@ T Mills. Even Quiet Riot read through their lyrics multiple times, whipped out the Bic ball point, and made changes before they finally went down on a microphone and laid tracks. Just because it’s vulgar, rhymes, and makes you seem like “Look yo, I’m like, I don’t care it’s all about me ‘n shit”, doesn’t make it catchy, memorable, or whatever word you kept using to describe it to the bored engineer behind the sound board who kept looking at his watch.
.
That’s not meant as coaching or to imply that I care. It’s meant to explain one of the key reasons why your cds are free and your career as an “artist” lasted only slightly longer than my last fwap session to Champagne Katie.
.
That and you have no talent.
.
And you suck swollen Alpaca polyps.
.
And your parents hate you.

7:37 am December, 14 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Medusa,
Rabbi’s Badger called from the hospital where they’re rebuilding his anus to say “Fuck you.”

7:55 am December, 14 Nancy Dreuche said...

What sucks is I heard people are paying this idiot for one of his songs on iTunes. Obviously they didn’t read my “review” first. Oh well fools and their money will soon be parted. Am I right 1% of America? Any rich people on this thing?

11:14 am December, 14 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I’d like to replay his screams though Autotune as a beat him about the head and shoulders with a monkey wrench.

3:07 pm December, 14 DarkSock said...

^that I would buy.

4:25 pm December, 14 douches Wild said...

This music represents a nadir of sonic DOGSHIT.

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