Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Gozer The Fondler

Gozer the Fondler!

He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms.

During the rectification of the Ed Hardy, the traveler came as a large and moving Choad!

Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant meatwank!

Many Herpster Librarian Hotts knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the club that day, I can tell you!

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# posted by douchebag1
Links n' stuff:
7:27 am January, 24 army (ret) douche said...

what is going on with their lips??? i hope that shit’s not contagious…
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i would also like to re arrange his face with a 1987 Buick Le Saber as a trash can to the head seems insufficient

7:31 am January, 24 Mr. White said...

I always wondered what Mrs. Potato Head would look like in human form. Now I have two examples.

7:33 am January, 24 Et Tu Douche? said...

Wow, just wow lots of signifier’s going on. We have the dreaded receding & thinning hairline augmented with gel. The tweezed eyebrows and the poo de grace the matching earrings. Just remember kids Roid’s are a hell of a drug and you could wind up looking like this meatwank.
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Herpster librarian on left looks very naughty and by very naughty I mean I bet she swallows.

7:33 am January, 24 CB Popped said...

Dildonic facial expression.

7:34 am January, 24 Dan said...

These Hotts are severely lacking and if anything are just ironic bleethed-out Librarian “Hott” not the real thing.

But I think we’ve already found our 2012 Doucheface of the Year.

7:41 am January, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

How I Met Your Father

7:42 am January, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Two Poke Girls

7:42 am January, 24 Vin Douchal said...

Chick on the left has a chain on her lens-less glasses. A trailblazing moment in HerpsterBleeth reckoning.
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Gonzer is too cool for photos, hence the “My shits smell like piss-coated dead Taliban corpses…”
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What,….. too soon?

7:42 am January, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Librarians At The Gate

7:43 am January, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The Bonfire Of The Sanities

7:43 am January, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Two Girls One Gozer

7:44 am January, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Two Girls. A Gozer, and an Optician

7:44 am January, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Horvas Smells A Poo

7:45 am January, 24 Wedgie said...

A banner day for the site. The Donkster’s heir-apparent has been identified.

7:45 am January, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Three Is The Homeliest Number

7:46 am January, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Two Girls, Liver Lips, and a Roofing Shovel

7:46 am January, 24 Nancy Dreuche said...

He looks like post surgery Micky Rourke done right. Damn right. Left librarian nott would would look better without the whole lip outlining thing. But what do I know I’m still wearing pants I wore from 2003. 2003!
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Update on my latest case: the email I provided to ask Tiny Dancer for free full frontal pics is still being tested. I’ve sent about four now. I’m hoping that four will get me two if you know what I’m implying. Two as in twoobies.

7:47 am January, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Matt?

8:02 am January, 24 Nancy Dreuche said...

^Jeff, you idiot. Learn to copy and paste and follow a simple story line.

8:09 am January, 24 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Walmart must be having a sale on botox enhanced blowjob lips. Libra-herpsterette #1 and Gozer Dad can go share a cocc, which I think is a father/daughter activity a lot of families miss out on, while Libra-herpsterette #2 learns that if you swallow the botox, it makes your tummy feel funny.

8:14 am January, 24 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Detective Dreuche: so I’m paying you to send random emails? No offense, but if “random typing” is the skill called for, Rev. Chad is like a bag full of coked-up monkeys. You would be a distant third, behind Jeff.

8:15 am January, 24 Nancy Dreuche said...

@McCrudeshoes, you’re right, I’m pretty close with my Pops but we sure never did that.

8:18 am January, 24 Nancy Dreuche said...

@McCrudeshoes, I don’t remember you ever paying me? I thought the deal was pics of front up front? I’m not gonna DarkSock you on this and not send you what we agreed upon. And yeah I totally agree, Jeff is a total dipshit.

8:19 am January, 24 Willie said...

Agreed – hots lacking…

However, I am more troubled by the increased occurrence of the middle aged gel monkey hitting the gym in an effort to capture something long gone…

It’s really embarrassing, please stop it, pleeeease!

8:20 am January, 24 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Left semi-Hott is giving Scarsdale Eye of Shoppus-Interruptus.

9:01 am January, 24 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Gozer would be under-dressed for collecting garbage, let alone clubbing. If I saw him pawing through my garbage, I’d assume he was looking for used tube socks to wear as mittens during the cold nights inside his box under the viaduct. His sweaty porterhouse of a meatface might look like it has just come from a gym, but I can’t think of a reputable gym that allows jeans, except for maybe somewhere in Jersey where the testosterdouche has turned back the tide of civilization.

9:08 am January, 24 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I have a radical idea. The door swings both ways, we could reverse the particle flow through the gate.
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How?
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We’ll cross the streams.
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‘Scuse me Egon? You said crossing the streams was bad! You’re gonna endanger us, you’re gonna endanger our client – the nice lady, who paid us in advance, before she became a bleeth…
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Not necessarily. There’s definitely a *very slim* chance we’ll survive.
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I love this plan! I’m excited to be a part of it! LET’S DO IT!

9:46 am January, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Bowser, say it ain’t so! I mean I know it must have been tough to find work after Sha Na Na broke up but whoring yourself out as a bouncer at Newt Gingrich’s place after he won in South Carolina is just awful.

9:49 am January, 24 diedouche said...

If you have big ears, by all means put earrings in them. If you’re going bald, thin out your hair. If you have big stupid lips, make a stupid face. If you have a knife, stab yourself

9:51 am January, 24 Hurl Scheibe said...

The one on the left looks like she’s glued two night crawlers to her face. Not a good place to keep your bait.

10:26 am January, 24 Findertweet said...

I suspect this new fake glasses look is to protect the eyes from flying splooge. Thoughts?

10:32 am January, 24 melvil_duchi said...

motherpusbucket

10:58 am January, 24 FlipFriddle said...

@DB1: damnit you beat me to the “roasted in the depths of the slor” quote. Your geek is faster than mine. :)

These are not the Librarian hots you are looking for. Move along. They are augmented vagina support bots.

Gozer needs to be hit in the face with a shovel.

11:33 am January, 24 Medusa Oblongata said...

Certainly this is one of the levels of hell. Good gravy, what happened to his face? To hers? Fat chick in a pink necktie is he most pleasant thing to look at here. Despite my failing eyesight and the fact that contacts don’t seem to help me all that much, I refuse to wear my glasses out anymore. I do not want to be lumped in with such asshattery from the female half of the species.
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Looking to the right, I see Cousin Itt made an appearance. But why the Pouf? Hasn’t that wretched hairstyle gone the way of The Rachel yet?
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11:41 am January, 24 tall guy said...

They’re three of the most disgusting things I’ve seen in a long time. Bleeth on left is particularly repellant. And whatever it is that I’m missing about the whole kissy lips thing gives further understanding to the old platitude ignorance is bliss. Hooped ear ring bleeth is a bit tubby as well. Hambeast!

12:37 pm January, 24 The Dude said...

Gozer looks like he already was hit in the head with a shovel. I like the ’87 Buick concept.

12:54 pm January, 24 Jacques Doucheteau said...

His expression says, “Erg. I pooped ‘em.”

1:01 pm January, 24 Jacques Doucheteau said...

@ tall guy,
“A bit tubby”? Fuck you. Fat chicks are awesome, and give the best blowjobs ’cause they’re always hungry. I think this music video may change your mind.
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http://www.metalinjection.net/tv/view/3687/steel-panther-fat-girl-thar-she-blows

1:04 pm January, 24 Jacques Doucheteau said...

And the best thing about fat chicks is the workout you get from them. You know how when you go down on a girl, sometimes you put your hands under her butt cheeks to lift her towards you? Well, try doing that with a girl who weighs over a buck ninety. It’s hard. And if you look at your biceps while doing so, you’ll see that they’re getting all pumped up. Are we on the same page yet? A meal and a workout all in one.

1:10 pm January, 24 Jacques Doucheteau said...

And what a little extra weight adds to the pear, results in a few extra “pounds”.
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If you know what I mean.

1:17 pm January, 24 Nancy Dreuche said...

@ tall guy, usually I side with my proteges, (how’s that Operation Get Some going, BTW?) but Jacques here makes an excellent point regarding the plumper ladies. A chick with an appetite is a chick with an appetite, if you know what I’m sayin. Now if youll excuse me there is a sandwich prepared by someone else awaiting my gullet.

1:47 pm January, 24 Wedgie said...

^Nibble Gobble Chew

3:21 pm January, 24 IL Douche' said...

I’m with Jacques: “The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin’”


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8yA2iLE15g

4:38 pm January, 24 Stephanie said...

Look at this sorry ass lot. And wipe that rim of shit off of your lips girl.

5:24 pm January, 24 Guid is Good said...

Fuck me that chick on the left is ugly. I think we can now say the Librarian Hott era is officially over.

6:33 pm January, 24 Nostradouchus said...

It’s looking like the black glasses are the new bleeth fashion trend.

Gozer even got his jowls in on the duckface.

9:08 pm January, 24 DarkSock said...

His lips look like a cautionary tale about sitting bare-assed on an unprotected swimming pool filter intake.

9:10 pm January, 24 tall guy said...

Well oddly enough, the German is slightly hefty. Not in a bad way (and I take it from your comments that there is no ‘bad way’ – to be hefty, Jacques). I’m digging what you say about the shock absorber functionality of a few extra pounds, too.

9:34 pm January, 24 Wedgie said...

Last.

2:50 am January, 25 Manny 'Bagquiao said...

To think, the least disgusting thing about this photo is how the plump girl on the right is rubbing what surely must be B-grade cocaine (cut with dollar store baking soda, YUCK) into her teeth.

1:06 am January, 26 Mr. Biggs said...

Gozer and co. have some big ass lips.
They lips so big, black people go up to them and say “you got some big ass lips!”
Big muufuggin’ lips.

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