Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Breaking: New Jersey Bleeth Arrested for Child Endorangement

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New Jersey: Where Bleeth Go to Burn.

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# posted by douchebag1
Links n' stuff:
11:19 am May, 2 creature said...

closet of poo with a bullet!

11:26 am May, 2 Douche Moore said...

Beyond Bleeth!

11:29 am May, 2 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

I do not believe you could get a fairer representation of ‘poo face’ if you replaced her cold cream with actual dog poo.

11:45 am May, 2 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I think, based on the video evidence, we can eliminate the charade of including the word, “allegedly” in this report.

11:46 am May, 2 Geoffrey said...

I can’t believe someone told me yesterday that I had seen it all.

11:47 am May, 2 creature said...

RIP Jr Seau!!!

11:53 am May, 2 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Craisin

11:54 am May, 2 DoucheyWallnuts said...

BTW, when did the newsbroads on the Today show go bleeth?

11:56 am May, 2 Sir Douche said...

Oh my goodness!

11:57 am May, 2 DoucheyWallnuts said...

BTW, there was a kid in the local middle school (NJ) who created an entire journal dedicated to the rape, murder and mutilation of a female classmate, and that was found by other kids in the class. They reported this to the school and the police, but they said nothing was done. Yet the police were called on this Dub T bleeth from Nutley and the story made the Today show. Something wicked this way has come…

11:57 am May, 2 DoucheyWallnuts said...

^Said nothing could be done…

12:08 pm May, 2 Wheezer said...

Judging by the video still, a heavenly crocodile just shat out Steve Irwin and he hasn’t bathed yet.

12:10 pm May, 2 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I wonder how the elite NJ police were able to crack this case open, what with the perp being so hard to identify and all?

12:10 pm May, 2 Wheezer said...

Or no, it’s a “tan” Tim Thomerson.
.
Yeah, who?

12:11 pm May, 2 Wheezer said...

I am the missing link. DUH.

12:19 pm May, 2 YA said...

Endoragement?

12:20 pm May, 2 CB Popped said...

Silly Dirty Jersey.

Derty Jerz.

12:23 pm May, 2 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

“Endorangement”
.
Snort! Gawd.

12:26 pm May, 2 Steve said...

Not mentioned in the video: That woman is only 24 years old.

12:28 pm May, 2 Ultra Bagnus said...

She’s a dude, playing a dude, disguised as another dude!

12:29 pm May, 2 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

“she’s been tanning her whole life” no fuckin shit, really ? Do the math, the the kid is what 6 ? so mom is like 40 – 45 max ? yet looks 70. How the hell can she watch this broadcast and think she looks like anything else but the cryptkeeper.

12:35 pm May, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“She was in the room with me.”
“She got a little sunburn playing in the yard.”
“She wasn’t even there.” (Place of business)
.
Wow. Just wow. These people SERIOUSLY need to get their shit together. Either this kid’s wave function is so diffuse she has a probability of being detected at multiple locations at the same time or she’s figured out the secret to time shifting and I need to have a serious chat with her. Yeah, I went with the geek jokes. Sue me. Where’s Mr. White when I need him?

12:36 pm May, 2 Vin Douchal said...

All I could think about during that entire thing was a nasty threesome with Savanah Guthrie and Natalie Morales with one, possibly two of us ending up in a hospital with bandages on our genitals…..
.
…. so what was that deal with that brown surfer dude?

12:59 pm May, 2 jonezy said...

this reminds me of the moment when I bend over to take the trash can liner out of the bathroom because it’s full of trash and my peripheral vision sees the brown molten chunks adhering to the crease under the toilet bowl rim due to either my bout of explosive diarrhea following Phil’s Tuesday night 5 cent wing special or the treasure trove left over from the love child spawn of the Oompaloompas and Ghoulies

1:02 pm May, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The 45 year old mother’s skin is as attractive as the leather seat on the 1960′s Harley Davidson that, after being Tsunami Raped and flotsaming and jetsoming across the Pacific washed up around Vancouver somewhere today. Bleck. My wife’s the same age and looks twenty or more years younger than this than addicted freak. Did she go every fucking hour or what!? I don’t care if she took the kid in but fuck what is with her face? She looks like a HD version of something on the early Star Trek.
.
Birkenstocks

1:23 pm May, 2 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

In other orange news, James Marker, the inventor of Cheezies, has passed away at the age of 90.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/yourcommunity/2012/05/canadian-inventor-of-cheezies-snacks-dies.html?cmp=rss

1:27 pm May, 2 Stephanie said...

I smell bacon!

1:33 pm May, 2 Charles Douchewin said...

Dear god. She’s a live, non-kid friendly version of H. R. Puffnstuff.
.
Behold:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obxfuFrUTzg

1:33 pm May, 2 The Yellow Dart said...

Kill it! KILL IT!

1:33 pm May, 2 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Yeah, ummm, I just took a horrific stroll through the closet of poo and she should not only enter, she should probably preside over it. With a hat tip to Magnum Douche P.I./12:29, and creature/11:19, I says she goes in as poocryptkeeper, an’ then we throw away the fuccen key!

1:34 pm May, 2 The Dude said...

Sir Douche is a minimalist. Proven fact. The Andy Warhol of the straight crowd.

1:36 pm May, 2 The Dude said...

^ and by minimalism, I mean Oh My Goodness!

1:39 pm May, 2 The Dude said...

and Craisin™. Another proven fact.

1:43 pm May, 2 The Dude said...

I’d be willing to bang the Today Show Talking Babes until they STFU, and then some. I know it takes a while, but don’t worry I’ll pack a lunch.

2:16 pm May, 2 Medusa Oblongata said...

“Dear God, what is that THING”

2:19 pm May, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ “And then my ears, yes, yes, get on with it.”

2:44 pm May, 2 shaka zulu said...

i heard the mom was only 25 but had the skin of a 85 year old

3:15 pm May, 2 Steve said...

Over/under on when she’ll get her own reality show?

3:18 pm May, 2 troy tempest said...

This bleeth makes Donatella Versace look like Snow White.

3:50 pm May, 2 DarkSock said...

George Hamilton called; he said “Hey, Bebay…how you durin’???”

4:08 pm May, 2 Medusa Oblongata said...

I see you there, Dr. BHD.
.
I would love to see how this freakishly freakish freak looks under the UV Cam. Bet she looks like this.

4:09 pm May, 2 Medusa Oblongata said...

…By the way, I hear Al Jolson’s estate is suing her for infringement.

5:08 pm May, 2 Guid is Good said...

Never tan in the microwave people.

6:02 pm May, 2 troy tempest said...

I agree – Closet of Poo – the first solo female member of the Closet of Poo. It had to happen some day.

7:41 pm May, 2 T said...

She’s Magda from “There’s Something About Mary.

8:06 pm May, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Closet of Poo for sure man . Looking at her stoned is really cool. If you ever have an overweight elder Golden Retreiver with thyroid issues and a goiter. If said dog is a female spayed and never bred with a skin condition and yeast disorder. And this dog lies down a lot cause the hips aren’t what they used to be and all the saggy wrinkly parts in the ladyregions gets humid. Then you’re scratching her underbelly cause she’s your best friend and you lift your hand up and there’s a bunch of stinky gunk on your hand. That is what Magda looks like. POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

10:05 pm May, 2 Little Willie said...

Evidence of another alien humanoid replicant failure. Probably a variation of alien color blindness or the replicating machine needs recalibrating again. Check for the zipper down its back.

12:29 am May, 3 Whoop-di-douche said...

Good god, she actually made me and several oompa-loompas WHOOP!

5:24 am May, 3 skrag2112 said...

Dr Zera?
http://www.starstore.com/acatalog/Zira_figure_L.jpg

6:27 am May, 3 DarkSock said...

William H. Macey…? NOOOO!!!!!

8:22 am May, 3 Scroteophobic said...

“Yeah, I went with the geek jokes.”
They are still appreciated – even without Mr White gracing us with his presence.

My theory is that the woman was telling the truth – her daughter was in several places at once because she tried to run away so damn fast she diffracted on passing through the door.

10:53 am May, 3 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Jebus Effing Popsickle it looks one of those Ice mummies they find frozen in the Alps for like 600,000 years!

3:12 pm May, 3 Bret Easton Douchis said...

The Cryptkeeper!

9:06 pm May, 3 Stephanie said...

She was on the tube saying that everyone is just jealous of her. Yeah,I wish i had skin cancer too.

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