Thursday, May 24, 2012
Grinny Vinnie Scores Sonya
The real question, of course, is what text did Background Jake just receive?
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Hall of Mock
- Pfah
- DarkSock
- Baron Von Goolo
- Troy Tempest
- Steve L
- Wheezer
- Medusa Oblongata
- creature
- Crucial Head
- Mr. White
- Archidoucheis
- Mr. Biggs
- Vin Douchal
- Sergeant Scrote Stain
- boatbutter
- Captain Bringdown
- Whoop-di-douche
- Jacques Doucheteau
- massengill
- Dr. Bunsen Honeydouche
- Mr. Scrotato Head
- Deltus
- The Reverend Chad Kroeger
- mr.reeve
- Wedgie
- Et Tu Douche?
- Eliza Douchcoo
- dbBen
- soy bomb
- DoucheyWallnuts
- I R A Darth Aggie
- jonezy
- Hermit
- Chris in ‘Baghdad
- Douchble Helix
- the douche is alright
- Choad the Douche Sprocket
- Stephanie
- The Dude
- Dude McCrudeshoes
- Sir David Douchenborough
- Il Douché
- Bag A
- douche equis
- Capt. James T. Douche
- Charles Nelson Douchely
- THEONETRUEDOUCHE
- Merle Baggard
- ehcuodouche
- Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
- Charles Douchewin
- FredN.
- Ol' Dirty Douchebag
- In memoriam: bcs
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Background Jake wears the plaid hat of fail.
From the bleeth he met and banged last night. “oh did I forget to tell you, I have herpes, clamydia and syphilis”
Fuck Background Jake and his text, Sonyas got some nice cans and that hair is made for pulling.
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Full Contact Pillow Biter?
Sonya is giving North Jersey eye of settling
Jake’s high cut, velcro wrap around kicks by the pool theme is sad.
Okay okay, since my interactive poon panel seems to be falling on gay er, deaf ears what about Teabag Thursdays?
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Jake is probably wading through a three screen text message. I know, who does that?
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If this chick doesn’t make it to the HOH, I will drink three instead of two beers at lunch. And you know I have a low tolerance!
Glad someone said it before I did. I also vote her for HoH.
Pooch, satire is best sprinkled like fresh ground cinnamon over a double cappuccino; not slathered like full fat mayo over John Largeman’s double cheeseburger. I will let you know when it’s time to bring up HOH.
We cannot postpone the invasion of D-Bag Beach anymore.
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This priceless morsel is what reminds us of why we keep our chin up. She reminds us of our self-determination to preserve our Crown and our liberty. She reminds us that we are free men. Free of spirit and counsel. Free of crabs. We will fight for her in the trenches. We will fight for her on the beach. We shall never surrender.
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I don’t often tell tall tales like the tales I tend to tell. But I tells ya, ya know when things are going good when you get to the day in your life when you start to enjoy the (e
) mail.
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^May it be many years from now for you my friends. Suffering is only sweet when it ends.
Jake , my credit card called me about a $600 bottle service bill from ReHab. Are you in rehab? Call your dad
“Congratulations, you’ve been accepted into the bakery opening at Brookdale Community College”
Jake sports the white Hanes T-Shirt of the dedicated couch potato. Together with flat-brimmed plaid hat and Velcro kicks, I assume he escaped from the group home just hours ago.
Sonya’s heading straight to the Hall. The more I look at her, the more I see a slutty Kate Beckinsale.
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– management
“I dropped your retainer down the disposal, oops! Sorry. Will order one Monday, love , mums”
May I assume that by “score” you mean “pollute”, “ruin”, “infest”, or perhaps “ravage”?
“Dude, shitz off da hoooook! Bitch just ate my azzz for $100 more. Tie’s still on doorknob, looozer. LOLZ !!! Roolet rulz …”
Was my name just invoked? or am I hearing things?. That Sonya chick looks hot and I wish I could be her upper necklace for an hour or so.
@McCrudedhoes, I’m sorry you were saying? Also subtlety has never been a strength of mine. Just FYI.
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@DB1, Great choice. Slutty Beckinsale FTW.
“Your order at Ameritrade has been accepted. 1 shares @ $ 41 for FB”
And damnit, now I can only have two beers. I really didn’t think that would work.
“this is the last time we warn you, Mr. Jake. No infrared cameras at the kiddie pool.”
Sonya for Hall of Hott, please…
With only 299 of my nearest acquaintances, I would fight Xerxes of the H.M.H. (Heathen Moslim Horde) and 500K of his goat blasters for the chance to be dragged 100 miles dehydrated in the Sahara sun to bleed on the glass her one female ancestor left as they fled from Old Jerusalem with no weapons but hair blowers and extension cords. For the chance only that I may hear a recording of her voice on Victrola with my Grandmother’s ghost whispering ” Please don’t listen.” As I listen on the phone to her sighs of ignorance as I take my dying breath sucking on a nipple.
Xerxes was Zoroastrian.
Sonya is smokin with an angelic quality that has not been seen in a while, but HOH is sacred ground. Ok, not really, but it should be. I think this pair is a real condender for a weekly, to start the process.
I bet Vinnie has opinions – even about important stuff, like How About Them Giants??? And he’ll debate endlessly about the merits of Godsmack vs Kid Rock. So don’t say he doesn’t have a defined aesthetic. He’s rockin’ it – at the end of the industrial world….
Yeah. Aesthetics….
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Background Jake’s text reads:
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Dood, just saw ur sis in Butt Blasters 27 with 7 coccks in her azz. Filmed in my room. She just left with douche in black Full Contact shorts. Man that bitch can scream. Wanna watch it later?? Peace out!
NIce fenders.
Sonya is the new Champagne Katie.
I wish I was a dentist and could get him into my chair.
I went booze shopping and to get some papers with my wife and children and I could not put this sweet angelic sex toy out of my mind. Ouch.
I’d cry salty fuccen tears of joy into her bosom if she would remove her top and mash my face into it, but I don’t think she’s HOH material.
Vinny’s tattoo of the sentinels from The Matrix is pretty sweet.
No, it isn’t.
Just as a PSA for those of you who like-a the bourbon/whiskey:
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http://chuckcowdery.blogspot.com/2012/05/ten-suggestions-for-bourbon-beginners.html
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Thank me later
I didn’t see the HOH potential, but the boss seemed pretty convinced. Champagne Katie will forever be enshrined in McCrude’s Hall of Furious Masturbation(r). And by enshrined I mean lots of sticky tube socks under the bed.
@ Dude, let Uncle Andy take it from here
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^that’s one way to get your potassium.
The Boss does like his brunettes. And by like I mean Using his right fist like a flesh pencil sharpener to grind his flesh toned Crayola crayon to a tiny stub of wax while all the shavings curdle under the hot L.A. sun like so much salty tapioca pudding without the raisons.
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She sure wears ’em high and tight. And by high and tight I mean hairclips.
Sonya is so delicious that Mrs. Kroeger saw her and demanded oral sex.
Sonya is so delicious that for the first time in modern history I lost a game of chess, to a nine-year old.
I love Sonya,,,HOH,,,nuff said. Good Call DB1.
No makeup, naturals, etc, etc.
Total non bleeth.
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