Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Carlos Grabs Some Sun Pear

Unlit cigarette doucheface in presence of bobble fondle spackle jump glute chew-toy schnoodle humpy hump is just no way to wake up in New York on a Wednesday.

Yup, your humb narrs is back in Gotham. Alcohol will be imbibed. East Village hotties will be stalked. Luke’s Lobster lobster rolls will be consumed.

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# posted by douchebag1
Links n' stuff:
6:30 am July, 25 FredN. said...

Worst Cameron Diaz impersonator ever. That face. Oy, that face.

6:44 am July, 25 Et Tu Douche? said...

Her face has shame, regret & alcohol abuse written all over it. Those thighs look great and are built for comfort & speed.

6:45 am July, 25 Capt. James T. Douche said...

She’s the extra-saturated fat of butter faces.

6:50 am July, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That girl has Ellenbarkinitis and Camerondiazosis. And by girl I mean I’d hit it hard and drunk and double-wrapped. Fuck off young Matt Dillon! Son.

7:37 am July, 25 The Dude said...

She’s worn so many bags on her head they’re charging for bags at the market.

7:37 am July, 25 DarkSock said...

Princess Layer

7:37 am July, 25 DarkSock said...

^Son

7:49 am July, 25 Douche Wayne said...

Tina Yothers looks fantastic!

7:50 am July, 25 Douche Wayne said...

“N” is for “Not a Chance”

7:50 am July, 25 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Princess Leia faux metal slave girl bikini… with Ewok face.

7:55 am July, 25 Douche Wayne said...

“N” s for “Nickel-plated crucifix”

8:01 am July, 25 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Douche Wayne at 7:49 FTW

8:03 am July, 25 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Nothing says ‘Jesus is my Lord and Savior’ than wearing the most recognizable symbol of faith while grinding next to a stripper’s crab-infested hoochie.

8:11 am July, 25 Douchble Helix said...

I worry about The Chief’s ever more frequent visits to NYC.
.
I’d hate to see him turn into one of them ‘fancy lads’.
.
I found a short video clip of his last trip.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3X8istCTeQE
.
Na mean?

8:23 am July, 25 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

huge sunglasses and messed hair ALMOST cover the rough face. She gets an “A” for effort. As does the body.
.
Carlos either has some really bad HMO with that hack appendectomy scar or he took a shank in the joint when he refused to play “wifey” with his cellmate.

8:51 am July, 25 Vin Douchal said...

Somewhere a dogfish is missing it’s mother

9:16 am July, 25 Vin Douchal said...

Not too too much rage at this tool. The amount of scorn he should endure should proportional to what team logo is on the front of that hat….
.
White Sox hat — Meh, the weather there can make anyone bonkers
.
Red Sox hat — Maybe it’s the correct official “B” cap and although on most occassions it shold be treated with the reverence normally reserved for a Yamulke let’s just say, “Turn that hat around and respect the uniform, Son”
.
Indians hat — See White Sox above
.
Miami Marlins hat — Those people are crazy-Douchey down there as the Cuban influence collides with the entrenched redneck culture then mix in wintering rich old people from New York with canes and walkers piling out of courtesy buses in slow motion while your stuck behind them as the street light you just wanna take a quick right on goes green-yellow-red over and over again….
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I mean LOOK what it did to THIS guy:

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Tampa Bay Rays — Kinda like Miami but with stories of pet snakes eating babies and passing the family business meth lab from generation to generation. Joe Maddon’s cool, go in peace, douchetwat
.
New York Yankees — First of all, anyone wearing this hat that does not hail from the 10400′s zip code or the (212) or (718) and wears this hat as a showing of dim intelligence , extreme front runner behaviour and general lack of sports sense.
.
None of this “I like them because they win B.S.” Support your local team and hope they find a way to beat this cheating, lying stealing, borderline illegal outfit with the most overrated live fan base in all of sports, NAY the history of all of sports.. The Roll Call? Ghey as the night is dark. Rooting for A-Rod and Texiera? The equivalent of having a gangrenous penis removal operation, you have to do it, you’ll probably feel better when it’s done but there’s little true satisfaction in your soul.
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So, Carlos… which douchebag are you? What hat are you defacing?

10:18 am July, 25 FredN. said...

Yah, Tina Yothers for the win.

10:53 am July, 25 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I ate Luke’s Lobster Rolls twice and when I crapped it looked like Carlos. The other time it looked like her face.

11:13 am July, 25 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Vin
.
Since he is wearing a baseball hat I would have to agree with your assessment totally. However in terms of “fans”, you have to look into Chelsea and Manchester City in the English Premiere league. In the off-season, they’ll spend more than the entire Yankmees payroll for just 2 players for their squad (look up Fernando Torres for example) and not even blink about it. Besides, when was the last time you heard of a baseball riot breaking out between the fans of opposing teams? Just sayin’…

11:15 am July, 25 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ Et Tu will back me up on that one. Sorry, premature post.
.
As for this pic, it looks like Carlos is using all the strength his meth muscles can handle in holding Tina up even though she’s being supported by a stage and my fuccen tax dollars.

11:32 am July, 25 Douchble Helix said...

I’m gonna nickname this chick “Shovel Face”.
.
Can any of youse guess why?

11:56 am July, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

He could switch out one of his upper-ab sets, or three for:

a) a set, or three, of lower ab exercises
b) a push-up or two, or twenty
c) a few hours of overtime to purchase sunglasses anywhere but at the local Walgreens

2:31 pm July, 25 Stephanie said...

I just hope they don’t mate and produce children.

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