Friday, July 27, 2012

Friday Haiku

Jules learns a lesson

About dating guys she meets

At Underpasses

 

Choking fantasy

Goes wrong, throw in the bath salts

Hell of a snuff film.

— Capt. James T. Douche

Bath Salts Magician

Finds his latest assistant.

Makes face disappear.

— The Reverend Chad Kroeger

Bath salts Jesus gives

Sermon on the Towel. Bleeth

sees burning bushes.

— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche

 

Occupy Wall Street

Was too mainstream for these two

Occupy Skid Row

— Douche Wayne

# posted by Bagnonymous
6:18 am July, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Choking fantasy

Goes wrong, throw in the bath salts

Hell of a snuff film.

6:19 am July, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

He doesn’t shower

Since the gyroscope was put

In her Monkey Hole

6:20 am July, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Whispering sweet

Nothings always gets her wet

So would a bathtub

6:20 am July, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Buffalo Bill from

Silence of the Lambs is back

Choke is the new tuck.

6:21 am July, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

They sway to the sweet

Music of their fave love song

“Drops of Poopiter”

6:21 am July, 27 jonezy said...

Vin picks his bands

Based on the cover art

Of their Albums

6:22 am July, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Meth heads rejoice in

One of thier own has made it

Onto this website.

6:22 am July, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Dirty castaway

Finds his own Wilson and brings

Her back to LA.

6:23 am July, 27 jonezy said...

Fake grass itches ass

So Chick lays down her towel

Dread Locks itch also

6:23 am July, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Extra discovers

Long lost Manson tapes. Squeaky

Was a dirty girl.

6:24 am July, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

In a few minutes

They will smell 10 times worse when

She pukes on his cock.

6:25 am July, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I finally have

Hope that he will be found. Come

Home Lenny the box.

6:25 am July, 27 jonezy said...

The Dread Lock Head Lock

Newest Douchal Maneuver

Now With More Choking!

6:26 am July, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

When the scene starts bats

Fly out when her panties drop

Whole crew gets rabies!

6:27 am July, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Bath Salts Magician

Finds his latest assistant.

Makes face disappear.

6:28 am July, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

There is only two

Things this couple fears, soap

And sobriety.

6:29 am July, 27 jonezy said...

Fearing the worst

Sally jerks her head, but

Still Velcroed to Dreads

6:29 am July, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

As the snuff film starts

Timmy Chong throttles cousin

Rae Dawn for practice.

6:30 am July, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

They missed putting in

The gyroscope, her clam ‘fro

Not shaved since ’86.

6:32 am July, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Baron Von Goolo’s

New exhibit “The Fall Of Man”

With bonus strangling!

6:32 am July, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Five minutes into

The scene out comes speculum

Bath salt felch is on!

6:34 am July, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

With no hits for ten

Years. The Counting Crow turns to

Cannibalism

6:35 am July, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Bath salts Jesus gives

Sermon on the Towel. Bleeth

sees burning bushes.

6:35 am July, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

The dreds match the rug

Peel off her panties to see

The merkin of death!

6:38 am July, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Meth and bath salts make

For quite an aphrodesiac

Soon the scat will fly!

6:41 am July, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Angelina Js

Latest adoption goes bad

House full of pube lice!

6:42 am July, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Zombie’s vacant stare

Ensnares the Mullatto Bleeth

For Bath Salt Orgy

6:45 am July, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Post bath salt orgy

Both of thier nethers burn and

Drip with tartar sauce.

6:47 am July, 27 Scrotewank Jones and the furry furry Douchetrots said...

Dreadlocks on white guys

Are douchey beyond belief

Stop choking her brah!

6:47 am July, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

A Zombie and a

Mullatto walk into a

bar. Everone runs

6:48 am July, 27 Douche Wayne said...

Pic so disturbing

Darksock can’t get ball rolling;

no haiku up top.

6:48 am July, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Hobo douchebag shows

Bleeth ventriloquist act chokes

Her out for spare change.

6:51 am July, 27 Douche Wayne said...

Occupy Wall Street

Was too mainstream for these two

Occupy Skid Row

6:52 am July, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I’m betting her snatch

Smells like old cigarette butts

From the show she did.

6:55 am July, 27 Douche Wayne said...

Next DC franchise

The Dark Blight Compromises

Filmed all on cell phone.

6:55 am July, 27 Jo Jo the Douche Faced Boy said...

Rob Zombie goes to

Burning Man and hooks up with

chick from Cosby Show.

6:56 am July, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Crazy eyed dredbag

Pimps her out of putt-putt course

They are squatting at.

6:59 am July, 27 Douche Wayne said...

DB1’s new site:

Hot Chicks with Criminally

Insane Homeless Guys

7:04 am July, 27 Cmak said...

http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2012/01/13/no-more-doctor-douchebag/

Heather is lookin kinda rough.

7:04 am July, 27 Douche Wayne said...

Mel Gibson gears up

for next Mad Max installment

Beyond Sphincterdome

7:06 am July, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

They break all the rules

Including the one about

Crapping where you eat.

7:12 am July, 27 Douche Wayne said...

Cock too small for her

to choke on; takes matters in-

to own grimy hands.

7:23 am July, 27 douchebag1 said...

Darksock’s poetics,
Negative critique of words,
That, or Ambien.
.
– management
.
XXXXXX
.
‘Sock went out drinking
With band after rehearsal;
Woke up outdoors. Son.
.
– D.S.

7:29 am July, 27 Et Tu Douche? said...

Grover McPocalypse

Back to his choking ways

He needs to be deloused

.

http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2012/01/13/no-more-doctor-douchebag/

7:34 am July, 27 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

So Crazy Eyed Joe

Goes for the babe’s jugular

It’s Love at First Psych!

7:36 am July, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

OG Mack Zombie

Says “This is we do it.”

Then eats off her face

7:47 am July, 27 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

I could get Pink Eye

Viewing this atrocity

And that’s just shitty!

8:01 am July, 27 Douche Wayne said...

If Three Little Birds

were on his doorstep, he would

f*cking eat their heads.

8:03 am July, 27 Douche Wayne said...

If by “Stir it Up”

you mean her blood in a hot

cauldron, he’s on it.

8:06 am July, 27 Douche Wayne said...

He’s Jammin’ using

her femur bones as drumsticks,

her skull as a snare.

8:11 am July, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This is a scene from

Jersey Shore Zombie Attack

Filmed in Seaside Frights

8:13 am July, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The attack took place

On Mini-Golf putting green

Zombie Hole-in-One

8:16 am July, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The photographer

Takes a picture but doesn’t

Stop Zombie Attack

8:18 am July, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Crushing her larynx

Then eating her bloody flesh

Is Zombie Foreplay

8:20 am July, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The Techno Viking

Would defeat the Dread Zombie

While keeping the beat

8:22 am July, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Mullatto snapper

Is Zombie delicacy

Best eaten when raw

8:24 am July, 27 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Deer photographer,

it would be nice to have,

kept your shadow out of her vajayjay,

Burma Shave!

8:24 am July, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It puts on the soap

And washes. Put on the soap

And wash you herpster!

8:28 am July, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I can’t imagine

Why any woman would touch

This fuccen douchebag

8:29 am July, 27 Douche Wayne said...

She’s Waiting in Vain

for him to stop crushing her

throat and jugular.

8:33 am July, 27 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Dreadlocks so dirty

population of head lice

sprouted this whole girl

8:36 am July, 27 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Some beach bum or Al

Jourgenson, can’t really tell

A new douche order

8:37 am July, 27 Douche Wayne said...

No Woman, No Cry!

Stop it right now or I swear

I’ll choke you to death!

8:38 am July, 27 Douche Wayne said...

Hey, Get Up, Stand Up

beach closes after sundown

move along, you two.

8:55 am July, 27 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Douchenamic Duo

Sharing Food Stamps And Needles

Diseases Galore!

8:56 am July, 27 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Grover ain’t super

But inspires new toy to sell:

Throttle me Elmo

9:00 am July, 27 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Rastafaridouche

Like Reanimated Corpse

Holding Chick Captive

9:00 am July, 27 Douche Wayne said...

Kudos on quick front page turnaround!

9:08 am July, 27 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Throttle me Elmo FTW!!!!!

HA HA HA HAW

9:09 am July, 27 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

This is Frank Zappa’s

LIVING Mexican Portrait !

That, or just a bum.

9:10 am July, 27 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

HA HA HA HAW!

Throttle me Elmo FTW!!!!!

1:44 pm July, 27 Anonymous said...

HC with DB?

Or’s this a crime scene photo?

Call Caruso? Yeaaaaah!!!

•••

“… Safety word is … *Gak*!”

“The safety word is … *GakGak* …”

Oh shit. Time to run.

1:45 pm July, 27 Morbo said...

HC with DB?

Or’s this a crime scene photo?

Call Caruso? Yeaaaaah!!!

•••

“… Safety word is … *Gak*!”

“The safety word is … *GakGak* …”

Oh shit. Time to run.

2:08 am July, 28 CB Popped said...

Iggy Pop is still

pullin’ the hotts on Fridays

Somewhere in Vegas

10:55 pm July, 29 Little Willie said...

Later her dismembered body parts were found strewn along Rt. 66 over a seven mile stretch. The methed up psychopath remains at large and is a suspect in 9 other dismemberment murders.

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