Thursday, September 27, 2012

The Family that Taps Together Craps Together

We’re losing the war.

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# posted by douchebag1
Links n' stuff:
12:56 pm September, 27 Not Safe For Rest (NSFR) said...

Looks like he shoulda PULLED OUT instead. Boom-tish.

12:57 pm September, 27 Wheezer said...

Mommy needs to tap out of that constricting shirt and free those puppies.

12:58 pm September, 27 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Ah ! Love the expression on his face, like he just saw his reflection and realized what a total loser he looks like.

1:00 pm September, 27 Et Tu Douche? said...

This is almost in the Honey Boo-Boo category of why are country is failing and entities like TapOut & whoever green lighted Honey Boo-Boo are raking in the dough. No wonder we are laughed at and ridiculed abroad.
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On another note if you haven’t already done so please go back to last thread and check out vid that DSOck posted. The sneer on the chicks face along with her pert breast perfectly ensconced on her bass guitar as she adroitly runs her hands up and down the fret board is a momentous renob inducer.

1:00 pm September, 27 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

She won East-Tennessee Trailerpark Queen 2011. True fact.

1:04 pm September, 27 Baron Von Goolo said...

So much for ZPG. Oh well, there’s always drunk driving.

1:20 pm September, 27 Anonymous said...

BLeeTh lOOks LiKe ShE’S tAkEn MoRe ThAN 1000 MiLeS oF CoCk.

1:46 pm September, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Baron
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What is ZPG? First time I don’t understand you prose.
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***DarkSock***
Dammit, Rev; ZPG – Zero Population Growth; a condition of demographic balance where the number of people in a specified population neither grows nor declines. Duh. I knew that. After I Googled it. But I’m still moist-gay for Baron Von Goolo. Genuflect, you buzzed Canadian THC filter!

1:47 pm September, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

“Here Comes Honey Doo-Doo”?

1:48 pm September, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Somewhere a Wal-Mart portrait studio is $29.95 richer.

1:53 pm September, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

It all went down hill when the horseshoe she was using for an IUD fell out.

1:54 pm September, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Et Tu
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Are you picking the Giants or Eagles Son? I got to write it down so I don’t fo-get cause I’m starting the weekend now and gonna be all up in the bithness of eating and drinking and smokin’ fresh weed and tending the frost-bitten children.
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But first I must watch a Tracy Morgan video to remember how life can be so cruel as to make a man mullattoo (respect), diabetic (no respect), and a non-talent laughabout Hollywood dreg. My wife thinks he’s funny but she is RETARDED.

1:58 pm September, 27 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I know, I know what you’re thinking Ronnie. If only you’d gone out for the football team as a freshman instead of playing trombone in the marching band. If only you’d boughtt that home gym instead of the BlackNaga 2000 tower PC with the AckAck graphics card and 20-inch monitor. If only you’d listened to your dad, who said you should run far far away, instead of your mom, who said you should start school at the local community college and get all the general classes out of the way. If only you hadn’t hit the club with the other salesmen and flashed all that cash from your first quarter bonus payment for being Scion Peon of the Month at Schmidtweiser Scion and Subaru. If only you’d had maybe five beers instead of eight. If only you’d looked the other way when Jenna from billing and license plates smiled at you in her too-tight tank and her too short skirt with the oh my gawd holy white triangle flashing everytime she shifted in her seat. If only, dear God in heaven, if only you hadn’t given up on trying to open that condom wrapper as the two of you fumbled around in the backseat of your loaner Scion with the speakers thumping and visions of guinea pigs in matching track suits with bling and backwards hats giving you the thumbs up exploding in your head.
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I know Ronnie, I know. If only you’d made those choices. Because if you had, instead of wearing a Tap Out shirt and looking like you’ve clearly checked out, you’d be in the octagon, ripped and raging, wrapped in tats neck to nads making the other asshole tapout.

If only, Ronnie, if only. In the meantime, try to smile sincerely when Jenna tells you this time she’s really going to lose those last few pounds of pregnancy pooch. And for hell’s sake would it kill you to clean up after the dogs once in a while?

2:07 pm September, 27 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

DB1: I think you should have blocked out the kids faces, as they are too young to know the douchery that they are committing. Just sayin.

2:14 pm September, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Speaking of trailer parks, this bleeth reminds me of this cocktail waitress minx I was bedding back in the early ’70s who lived out in some shithole trailer park in Sparks. I used to give her the old glue shot right in the eye and then watch her ride the headboard on her bed. She was a real fun lay. Her husband was a real schlep rock like this strunzo.

2:40 pm September, 27 Not Safe For Rest (NSFR) said...

Magnum PI Douche brings up a good point.

2:42 pm September, 27 Vin Douchal said...

There is nothing more perfect for the eyes of the beholder than a fuccen BLAST from the cannon of Mr Scrotato(e) Head. Awesome
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Quayles

2:42 pm September, 27 UFO Destroyers said...

I thoght it was Eddie Kay Thomas and Carrie Underwood at first glance.
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Little one in Dad’s arm is thinking “Yep, can’t choose your family.”

2:54 pm September, 27 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Welcome to the 3rd world, America. Or should that read ‘turd’ world?

3:16 pm September, 27 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Funny how their children are ethnically white when she is so ethnically orange.

3:21 pm September, 27 Et Tu Douche? said...

I agree with Vin D, it been a long time coming too. The man has skills!!!.

6:37 pm September, 27 Troy Tempest said...

That woman has (basically) been pregnant for 4 years. Think about it 3 kids and the eldest looks like he barely qualifies for kindergarten. yikes.

7:21 pm September, 27 Guid is Good said...

They’d be dropping out of her like a deep fried Stackhouse turkey at Thanksgiving.

8:29 pm September, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I think it’s good to show the kids’ faces. Fuccen docuhebags are fuccen douchebags, whether they are 3 or 30.

8:31 pm September, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The bumper sticker on her mini van reads, “My vagina is bigger than your Prius.”

8:34 pm September, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Why couldn’t this guy and his family been at the Benghazi Embassy.
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Too soon?

8:35 pm September, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Oh, and how long before we get the de rigueur, “Take this photo down or I will sue,” email?

8:37 pm September, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The bumper sticker on her mini van reads, “Proud owner of an enormous twat and three retards.”

8:52 pm September, 27 Stephanie said...

Yeah,usually they like to block out children’s faces,on photos,but in this case,no one’s going to bother those ugly kids at school. And Mom’s spending all of the coin at the tanning salon.

1:16 am September, 28 Baron Von Goolo said...

Scrotato owns this thread. Move on.

1:49 pm September, 28 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

How in the name of all things Holy did this even happen. He says, “Lets wear out Tap out T’s for the family picture” She replies. “Great idea”? Really-between the two of them they could not stop this non-sense- Just think of sending this to the Grandparents. His dad slams back another boiler maker and moves on. This is just one more pothole on the road to destruction. His Mom weeps as she watch her husband fall asleep with Wheel of Fortune on knowing that his pain is only slightly numbed by the alcohol and that her grandchildren are destined to be douchebags. Her dad screams, “That no good asshole son of a bitch son0-in-law dressing my princess and grand kids in that god damn crap. I should have stopped them when I had a chance. If I would have ripped that little’s shit’s pecker off when he was on top of her in the rumpus room.” and storms off growling. Her mom knows if can’t be all the douchebags fault and mutters, “She is such a dumb cunt. It is one thing to fall in love with a retard, but to agree to all his stupid ideas. Christ in heaven you give those dipshits helmets and three wheelers so they don’t hurt themselves. Don’t let that retard make decisions. What’s next a keg stand for the baby at an ASU game?”

7:47 pm September, 28 FredN. said...

Blur out the kids’ faces for fucks sake.
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Even the fucks at Reddit realize it’s too much to shit on people like that.

8:47 pm September, 29 Guid is Good said...

Tatas Out?

11:36 pm April, 8 whiplash said...

You know I find it funny that yall want troll him because of a family pic I know this man personally and hes a really nice guy your just pissed he has a hotter chick then yall do

4:34 pm April, 9 Jodi said...

It takes a big Human to troll on babies. Good for you all. And he’s a douche for the shirt that his family is wearing? Yes, you’re all right. THAT is the problem with our country. Don’t wear a tapout shirt. Btw, he actually does fight. Lol but troll on you anonymous dicksucks. Keep trolling the babies and his wife. I hope that you ALL sleep better tonight because of it. YOU FUCKING COWARD SCUMBAGS.

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