Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Douchiest Ruiner of Sapphic Love: Guy Who Ruins Pics of Hot Chicks Making Out Guy
From October.
This guy had to win an award for something other than Best Oyster Gobbler at the 2009 Provincetown CLam Bake. And yes. That is a euphemism. For something ambiguous.
To be quite honest, that guy could be covered in feces and I’d still have a raging renoB. A “Rager,” I says.
I’d like to roofie these two sapphic canoodlers and take them back to my cottage. And by cottage I mean Grandpappy’s ice cellar under the decrepit hunting shack he left me with in the deep woods. It’s been under renovations lately. And by renovations I mean bedrock- affixed shackles in size small. They will be left with rations of fetid jerky, moonshine, and the tiny groundwater stream which runs through it near the open- wired infloor electrical system in case they break free. Hillbillies
Redhead’s nips are fighting for freedom. They probably haven’t seen in the light of day since her last set on stage.
.
Why is Eric Idle photobomber wearing a Lakers jersey? Why does anybody where any jersey to any bar unless they are there to watch that team play? It’s like they think they are some near facsimile of a real athlete rather than an atrophied couch jockey.
Looks like his dreams are shattered.
Miss Manners has a chapter on this. The correct reaction is not exaggerated disgust. The correct reaction is to pull a Franklin out of your wallet and get those two to the champagne room where they can have some privacy. Just the three of you.
Fetid Jerky is the name of my next band.
Fezzik, tear his arms off
Oh, you mean this key….
Could it be that this guy deserves some charity-his hair, the jersey, that look on this face- do these signs not point to an inexperienced rube rather than a wet blanket tossed upon the hot, smoldering fire of a soon to burst into full on inferno of mutual lady part love licking? Does he need a guiding hand to gently show him how to stoke the fire. Or is he truly deserving of mock- I say MOCK AWAY
What “guy”? I see full lips intermingling and boobies about to do the same. That’s it. I swears, I says.
.
Should I see an optometrist and an ophthalmologist? I think my eyes are fine.
Sapphists!!
Red Sapphic deserves to be eternally enshrined. She is the reason my balls hog all the vitamin E in my body.
And quite frankly I concer with Photo-Bomber Eric Idle Clone Guy.
Sapphic is the new theme for my basement apartment. They cook and clean too, right?
1asbestos