Monday, July 29, 2013

Wallnuts After Dark: Who Gives a F@&$ About This Royal Baby?

GENERAL: Miss Bikini World Australia winner Ema Masters.

Management apologia: This edition of Wallnuts After Dark should’ve run over the weekend, but I simply didn’t see it. Because I got drunk and downed a sixpack of HoHos while watching DVRd Jeopardy. That Alex Trebeck is a wily minx.

But since the DB1 is about to have his own Jewish Princess, let us celebrate the virgin birth with a lil’ Wallnuts After Dark:

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Madonna Mia! All over the CNN and the TV this week was this story about the kid that prince and princess had over there in England. But as my barber Frankie the Wop says, “Who gives a Fucc?”

I mean this whole Royalty Family thing to me is a scam. After all, they do nothin’ but live off a the money a them Brits that work, and they live like Kings in palaces and castles. And shit. I guess because they is Kings. What kinda tripe is that?

If their last name was “Gambino,” they’d all be sittin’ in jail somewheres wit a Racketeering charge hangin’ over their heads. Things are goin’ in the shitter over there, an yet people is all gaga over these lazy royalty mooks livin’ high on the hog. An over here people are so nuts about these Brittunculi you’d think these cavones is part of somthin’ to do wit us when they ain’t got nothin’ to do wit us. Na mean?

I never could figure out why everyone was so over the moon about that Princess Diane broad who was married to the prince that looks the back side a my balls wit them big ears and a horse face. I mean, I’d hit it, but she weren’t no Connie Stevens. Back side a my balls, I says.

Then there’s that one prince kid a hers who looks like the guy she was bangin’ behind her prince husband’s back, and not like the prince hisself. Yet I ain’t never hear anyone say anything ’bout that, how that one prince is too sharp lookin’ to be the son a that other ugly prince.

An another thing, ain’t these current princes and queens the relatives a other kings and queens an those Sars who ran Russia an Germany, or some fuccen thing? I mean this whole arrangement has got Mob written all over it. A bunch a families get together an divvy up territories an whatnot, and get a piece a the action all over the joint. Sounds like “Our Thing.” Am I right when I say that?

Now this new princess or duckess broad that had the kid, an the press an all a the women is droolin’ all over her. She looks like your run a the mill Stasch that sits around the house all day, gets her nails done and winds up bangin’ the Cabana Boy. Stasch, I says. Take away all a that make up an fancy threads an she’s just another plain Jane.

Again, I’d hit it, but I’m just sayin’.

If this dame was married to some CEO or some hot shit doctor all a everybody would be rippin’ into her for being too uppity an married to someone who is greedy or makes too much money. But for some reason I can’t figger out everyone loves this prince’s wife for doin’ nothin’ other than bein’ a rich princess. She must have a Golden One.

An one last thing. What if this new baby prince kid is a retard? What do they do? I bet if these fancy pants j’drool s had a tart kid they’d lock it up an you’d never see or hear anything about it.
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# posted by DoucheyWallnuts
Links n' stuff:
3:33 pm July, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I hear ya Douchey. I think the brotha with the cigar looks like a young Nipsey Russell. Am I right when I sat that? And I think that Kate is a cunt.

4:45 pm July, 29 Vin Douchal said...

Couldn’t have said it better. Who fucken cares?
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Well done, my salty friend

7:05 pm July, 29 Douchble Helix said...

You guys see that Shirley Jones wrote in a book something about a three-way?
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DW *had* to be one of them guys, na mean?

8:48 pm July, 29 The Dude (remote loc) said...

Nicely said, DW. In a related matter, I am visiting my mom, told her I was going to Wallnuts to get a razor. She says you mean Walgreens?”
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“That’s what I said.”
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Had to ‘splain my way thru that boo-boo.
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Withdrawals

6:42 am July, 30 DarkSock said...

run a the mill Stasch, he says…

6:46 am July, 30 DarkSock said...

Shirles had da gams, DH…
ewq
Gams, I says.

10:52 am July, 30 Jacques Doucheteau said...

That Middleton broad is a little scrawny for my taste.
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But yeah, I’d hit it like James Dean in a Spyder.

10:58 am July, 30 Jacques Doucheteau said...
10:59 am July, 30 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Girls were hawter back in the day when they were all thick, and shit.

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