Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

1:48 pm August, 11 DoucheyWallnuts said...

White Bros with blonde dreadlocks should suffer Penis and Anus Torture.

1:51 pm August, 11 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Also, Rev. Using kitchen appliances to coax sexual favors from your wife is a unique, yet expensive, approach. I have found that three Tanguaray and Tonics will result in anal, and two gin Martinis will bring you to the precipice of a threesome. Precipice, I says.

7:52 pm August, 11 Charles Douchewin said...

Diel Patterns of Female Host Seeking, Male Swarming, and Sugar Feeding in Fannia conspicua (Diptera: Muscidae) in Southern California

Journal of Medical Entomology 48(2):188-195. 2011

ABSTRACT:

Adult Fannia conspicua Malloch were captured by sweep net at a southern California coastal mountain community to determine diel flight activity and crop/gut sugar (gut sugar) concentration. Male swarming activity was monitored by visual estimation of swarm numbers. Gut sugar content of captured flies was determined by cold anthrone assay. Peak host seeking by female flies generally occurred in early morning (0700–0800) and early evening (1900–2000). Variation in female host-seeking activity was significantly explained by the time elapsed since sunrise or time remaining until sunset, with temperature, humidity, and wind speed having small, but significant effects on activity. Male swarming activity occurred more generally throughout the day, with peaks in midmorning and mid-afternoon and reduced swarming during periods of highest female host-seeking activity. Male swarming behaviors were only minimally explained by environmental variables. Flies of both sexes commonly fed on fructose sugars with 99.94% of host-seeking female flies (n = 1,647), and 98.93% of swarming male flies (n = 1,398) with gut sugar levels exceeding those of starved flies. Host-seeking female flies had significantly higher overall sugar content than swarming male flies. Male flies had peak gut sugar levels at 0800–0900 and 2000. Female flies had broad peaks in gut sugar level from 0700 to 1200 and 1600 to 1900. Stepwise regression showed that variation in gut sugar level was poorly explained by environmental variables for both sexes.

http://www.bioone.org/doi/abs/10.1603/ME10135

8:24 pm August, 11 Dickie Fingers said...

I would have to agree with all of the prior posts. A more appropriate appliance for anal would be a blender or waffle maker.

10:04 pm August, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The appliances are kind of old. And the recent demise of my troubled MacBook outweighs the cost. Never put a hot laptop in a slippery freezer stoned Son. Fuck you Robin Williams you selfish prick. Captain my Captains.

10:06 pm August, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

If those guys were near my sweet daughters they would be treated to Lenny’s brass knuckles.

11:58 pm August, 11 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“Stepwise regression showed that variation in gut sugar level was poorly explained by environmental variables for both sexes.”
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I have found this to be so, so it’s good to see my anecdotal evidence backed up by some hard science. And by hard science, I mean what the fuck are you talkin about, Paisano?

2:51 pm August, 12 Vin Douchal said...

At some point these imbeciles sobered up and had to face up to the harsh reality of being them. Another huff of the meth pipe kills those sobering disappointments and it’s right back to mugging
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The beauty of being a business owner is giving them a stern “No” when they ask if we’re hiring

3:57 pm August, 12 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Back off people! Krunk in the middle there is showing us that he’s made Walmart Employee of The Month. He was in the process of making the “E” when the pic was taken.
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BTW fuccen shoulder surgery sucks big fat veiny donkey cocck. Just got a level 4 SLAP tear repaired in my right shoulder (Google and youtube that shit) so won’t be posting much for next 6 weeks (typing one-handed blows too).

5:12 pm August, 12 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Doc,
I had a badly torn labrum resulting in chronic dislocation. I know have some scars, 3 pins and a relatively good quality of life after the surgery. Make sure you do your rehab you won’t regret it.

7:53 pm August, 12 Wheezer said...

After looking briefly at this photo and losing my lunch, my kitchen now looks like a Jackson Pollock painting.

4:34 am August, 13 DarkSock said...

@ Sir Charles Douchewin (respect):
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Sir – I must posit this diatribe,with all due respect; please disreciprocate all salient invectives with due interburation…
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Let me begin this letter with a few simple statements of fact. First fact: Fannia Conspicua should keep its half-baked, know-nothing opinions to itself.
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Second fact: In spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, many otherwise intelligent people continue to believe, thanks to Fannia, that everyone with a different set of beliefs from this conglubious entity is going to get a one-way ticket to Vascular Hell – in the most urvalian sense, as posited by none other than Percival J. Swivett, handmaiden to the estifariable Moon J. Brackett, swift of hand and third-cockk. Son.
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Third fact: Possession-obsessed, fro-ward undulating excerbatic analphabetics like this scourge against good people and honest cheese-crafters alikeare all alike.
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These three facts bear repeating over and over again. They are simple and self-evident, but it is easy to forget them in the blizzard of lies and obfuscation coming from Fannia and various apologist Von-Goolian lapdogs these days. What follows is a set of observations I have made about tyrannical politicasters, laid bare on the twin alters of Lesbianism and Dildonic Hedonisms:
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I am duly – and dually – concerned that Mr. Douchewin’s vague and overly broad definition of “mechanicocorpuscular” will cause the most obtrusive airheads you’ll ever see to deny citizens the ability to become informed about the destruction that he is capable of as soon as our backs are turned, so to speak.
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Sir Douchewin is – IF YOU WILL- *AHEM* – “allergic” to any idea that isn’t undiplomatic. If you’ll forgive my parrhesia, I’d like to add that this is a classic example of a zero-sum game. And I can say that with a clear conscience because I intend to look closely at such barbs to see what makes them so effectual at establishing rack-and-thumbscrew programs.
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I should expect to find—this is a guess that I currently lack sufficient knowledge to verify—that even the Reverend Chad “Hot Pants” Kroeger accuses me of being impolite in my responses to such unmannerly bromides. Let’s see: These argle-bargles disgorge disparaging and arrogant comments on a topic of which these incorrigible slurpers of The Doodi P are wholly ignorant, and they expect a polite reply? What are they, covinous?
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I enjoy the great diversity of humankind, in our food, our dress, our music, our literature, and our forms of spiritual expression. What I don’t enjoy are their bulbous tainted besotted criticisms, which make a mockery of the term “undiscriminatingness”. At the risk of repeating myself, I must reiterate that I decidedly have a hard time reasoning with people who remain calm when they see such flotsam standing in the way of progress. Their virtue and brains are inversely proportionate to vices and the size of various clamp-holes…AS IT WERE. And if that seems like a modest claim, I disagree. It’s the most radical claim of all. Some day, I want to expose false prophets who preach that coercion in the name of liberty is a valid use of state power.
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But you don’t have to wait for that. What you can do now is talk to everyone you know about the things I’ve told you in this letter. Use every medium available to you. Use the Internet. Use your telephone. Use radio and newspapers. And whatever you do, never be afraid to speak out against the evil that is RevChad/Douchewinian Conspicua.

4:35 am August, 13 DarkSock said...

Also, Ambien™