King D the IV
The King is very upset over his loss in the monthly. He’s been rending his garments and hanging his jesters all morning. So in the interests of restoring peace to his ‘bag kingdom, I’ve agreed to let King D drop by and voice his pleasure as only a Shakespearean ‘Bag can:
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King Douchuous IV: We few, we greased up few, we band of douchebags;
For he to-day that sheds his bodyshots with me
Shall be my fellow ‘bag; be he ne’er so stinky,
This day shall gentle his conditioner;
And ‘bags in the clubs now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here,
And hold their bling cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Douchebags’s day.
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Well said, King Douchuous. And congrats on those two Russian maiden girls of ignoble birth you’ve captured. And my condolences on your retarded prince brother.
