Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

9:21 am July, 12 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

That one pretty attractive tranny. I’m ok with it.

9:29 am July, 12 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

That’s^^^

9:49 am July, 12 Vin Douchal said...

Gotta love bikini/high heels combo fashion sense. It screams “LOOK AT ME !!! WANNA FUCK?!?!”
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Slinging. It’s not just a job, it’s an adventure
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Child Cockks (that can not come to grasps with their actual cock sizes, and egos)

9:50 am July, 12 dbBen said...

Crystal, you’re better than this.

9:56 am July, 12 Mandouchian Candidate said...

I think dbBen just gave me a crystal clear revelation that may change the rest of my life, or at least until I go lay a corn-laden beef log in the women’s bathroom where I work. No one, in ANY of these pictures- is better than this. Think about how fucked your life has to be to be photographed in these situations, and than how much people must hate you to send photos of you in to sites like this for the righteous to mock. So no, Crystal, you’re not better than this, or you wouldn’t be here.

9:58 am July, 12 Mandouchian Candidate said...

and the girl in thepurple kini top and heels looks like she is about spray paint that couch cushion some variation of Olestra Green.

10:02 am July, 12 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

that Bruce Willis Jr. sure can pull some skanky tail.

10:04 am July, 12 ehcuodouche said...

Wasn’t she in The Crying Game?

10:07 am July, 12 smackdouche said...

I’m going to guess that he spent some jail time on meth charges. but someone should have told him that you scratch the number of days spent behind bars on THE WALL.

10:10 am July, 12 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Pretty sure that what that shit on his shoulder is the word “Faith,” tattooed by a 6 year old.

10:11 am July, 12 Wedgie said...

^Because he has faith in meth.
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Whereas, any thinking man only has faith in pussy.

10:40 am July, 12 DoucheyWallnuts said...

He opened the door to his hat closet and pondered his choices; the white fedora, the Ed Hardy trucker cap, the red mandanna, the LL Cool J Kangol bucket hat, the classic straw pork pie hat. “Nah, fuc those!” he thought, as he reached for the driving cap that made his head look like Donald Duck’s face. As he pulled it down over his gelled faux hawk he said to his reflection, “Now that’s the shit.”

10:44 am July, 12 Sir David Douchenborough said...

So when this gentleman gets old and his skin sags, what on Earth will that tattoo say? If it transforms into Mandarin, he might get shipped off to hand sewing that silly hat he is wearing at Hu’s special hat factory somewhere in the Chinese interior.
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Speaking of which, douches like these infect music festivals with their crappy Latin phrases poorly translated that would make a Benedictine Monk renounce his faith. This past week, ironically, what repelled them was older musical acts who would attract an older crowd, like Huey Lewis for example.

11:01 am July, 12 Mandouchian Candidate said...

And once again: Douchey Wallnuts @ 1040 FTW.

11:06 am July, 12 I R A Darth Aggie said...

No wonder she’s smiling closed-lipped. He’s already knocked her teeth out…

11:08 am July, 12 smackdouche said...

@Wedgie–In the past, I put my faith in pussy. It was an unsatisfying experience.

11:14 am July, 12 Vin Douchal said...

Any traction to adding Young Mom Carol to the HoH?
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I nominate.

11:29 am July, 12 Tyrannosaurus Douche said...

I think it’s “MITH”, which is douche-speak for “Meat In The Hole.” Which kinda screams gay-bag to me.

11:43 am July, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Elder Cocks.

11:56 am July, 12 Et Tu Douche? said...

Vin @11:14 am
I’ll vote for Young Mom Carol, she’s prime

12:13 pm July, 12 Troy Tempest said...

Young Mom Carol is pushing 40 and is only a mom because of a bukkake accident – everyone came on the wrong lips and she swallowed.

12:16 pm July, 12 Troy Tempest said...

and Crystal’s the kind of stupid bint who’ll turn 30, crap her pants, marry some dingaling with a pulse, get preggers, turn into a sofa and spend the rest of her adult life driving kids to soccer practice while her hubby gets drunk watching football on TV. When it all hits the fan, she’ll turn resentful and blame it on scapegoat du jour completely unaware of her own complicity in her own misery.

1:31 pm July, 12 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Troy 12:16p, That’s my biggest pet peeve, when people blame others for the poor choices they made. And agree “Young” is a bit of a stretch to describing Carol. I would still nominate her for the Hall O MILF. She looks good for late 30s early 40s.

1:51 pm July, 12 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

His tatt says “piss”. It’s just that his tattoo artist had a lisp.

1:55 pm July, 12 Anonymous said...

Is that a rabbit tail hanging ’round her neck?

2:23 pm July, 12 Mr. Biggs said...

Wow really? You get a tattoo on meth and it gets you laid? I hope the heavens are rethinking this whole fairer sex / moral animal thing.

2:27 pm July, 12 Mr. Biggs said...

Oh okay. I’ll grant that I says “faith” as done by a six year old. Medusa, throw that one on your hall of shame.
Also note that I wouldn’t put it past someone to have a tattoo on meth. And score poon for it.

4:56 pm July, 12 Douchebusters said...

you guys are tough – she is awesomely sexy. He on the other hand, is a waste of pixels…

7:50 pm July, 12 Medusa Oblongata said...

I was thinking the tattoo said “Meth”, too. Then I said, “Nah, it says “Faith””. Then I said, “But they all say “Burritos and kitchen gadgets for Medusa.” Cocckwashers. I put some latin on some dude the other day. I told him what it meant before he told me, and he about shit his pants, like I was the fucking Dalai Lama or something. Asshat. Like getting a latin phrase tattooed on you makes you smarter than everyone else. All I know is, he’s got some crap written on him in latin and I have a rifle scope on the way for me. Yay for other people’s stupidity. It’s made my life somewhat cushy.

9:07 pm July, 12 Stephanie said...

Does she still have the price tag ala Minnie Pearl on her bikini top?

10:24 pm July, 12 Baron Von Goolo said...

Actually, the gentlemen is a Professor of English Literature who, on an unfortunate bender, hired a tattoo a tattoo artist to ink him a sleeve of the douchiest of all Shakespearean lines (from Hamlet, Act III, as if I needed to tell you), “Methinks the lady doth protest too much” which is the old English way of saying “You know you want it, you tawdry, moistened hosegobbler.”
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Luckily, a fellow professor was there to stop the tattoo in time, pointing out that the line is actually “The lady doth protest too much, methinks” and saving our hero from a world of academic jibes and embarrassment.
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Dodged that bullet, eh Professor? wwwwwwWINK!!!

10:36 pm July, 12 Steve L. said...

okay Crystal i’m gonna explain to you what “life choice” means.
i think i’m gonna such at the explaining part, though. so let’s just get to the ogling and drooling. meh.