Boobies

    Tuesday, January 28, 2014

    Narm

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    Narm.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Saturday, December 28, 2013

    The Golden Globes are Out!

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    Hoverbag Mike agrees, if anyone deserves Golden Globes it’s Her. No Gravity here. Just American Hustle.

    EDIT: In the comments thread, Douchey Wallnuts Jacques Doucheteau hands out the 2013 Douchie Award:

    ———–
    2013 Douchies: Best Golden Globes

    Sophie. Even though she’s a flying bitch.

    Runners up:
    Snoop Ferret’s Kaylee. Because DAMN gurl.
    Kim. Again, DAMN gurl.
    Hottie Jewss Rachel. She can latkes my potatoes anytime.
    Stingray wants boobies!
    The Holy Clevite of Titicaca
    Kyra
    Benizio’s Bottle Blonde Blue.
    Veronica, for the epic cleavage AND sideboob combo.
    Six. Boobs.
    Special celebrity award goes to Mariah Carey. Thanks for that one DW.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, December 16, 2013

    Joe Has Arm Fungus And A Shirt That Doesn’t Fit

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    Bethany’s bosoms are reacting to Joe in the only way they know how.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, November 18, 2013

    Some Guy With Glasses Boobs

    BugEyedBag

    Large sunglasses.

    The tool by which those who cannot face the truth of their dearth of spiritual depth are able to hide in plain sight.

    Too depressing for a Monday?

    Don’t make me post the Zapped fart again.

    No universe is totally devoid of meaning if it contains a Willie Aames.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, November 4, 2013

    Scarfy Pete Finds the Holy Cleavite of Titicaca

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    When I was nine years old, “Titicaca” was the funniest word I’d ever heard.

    It still is.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, October 24, 2013

    Ties McJohnson and Amazon Kelly Vote for Gynochin

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    After deep consideration, and extensive use of Boolean field mathematics, Ties McJohnson and Amazon Kelly cast their votes.

    And whaddaya know?

    It was a tie.

    Thank you.

    I will be here all week.

    Sample the meat specialty on the menu.

    And be sure to leave a gratuity for your servant class assistant.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, October 15, 2013

    The Slovakian Boob Meld

    TheArmenianBoobMeld

    I read about this in my sociology class.

    It’s an ancient ritual that has something to do with honoring those who brought forth the fruit of the vine on this the day of hairtonement.

    Joan Largeman is having nothing to do with this strange ritual. To the appletinimobile!

    Yup. Got nuthin’.

    Hey, whaddaya want. It’s Tuesday morning and my shirt smells of pee.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, September 26, 2013

    Boobs Or Midget Twins With Shaved Heads?

    Just for the boobies

    Okay kids, time to play another round of the game that’s sweeping the nation… Boobs or Midget Twins With Shaved Heads?

    Somewhere in this pic of Vegas professional party semi-employment and lack of long term career prospects, I’ve carefully hidden what are either boobs or midget twins with shaved heads.

    Look closely.

    Can you understand Ambiguously Pregnant Sophie’s mild sense of shame and disgust?

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, July 24, 2013

    You Might Be a Doucheneck if…

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    …you’re this guy.

    Jeff Foxworthy, ladies and gentlemen!! How about a hand for Jeff Foxworthy!!

    See, I like to mock comedians who rely on one joke premises for their entire careers. Because, uh… oh… wait… dammit.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, July 16, 2013

    Sophie Disappoints Me

    Yes, It's Love

    Oh Sophie.

    Last night you had me at “hello.” And by hello, I mean “Woooooo!! Letssss doooo shotttssss!!”

    But now I see that you cohabit with the worst of beachdouche detritus.

    And so I am crestfallen.

    Not enough to stop staring.

    But enough to stop overstaring. And by overstaring I mean burning your cleavite with the heat of Hebraic lust.

    Boobs.

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    # posted by douchebag1
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