‘Splosionhead the Douchebag Got a Posse
Looks like Saturday’s Splosionhead brought in a whole posse of douchebags to mack on Kimmy and Kelly over summer vaca.
There’s enough gel in this group of clowns to freeze a hippo in agar.
As to the hotts, Kimmy’s body is glorious.
Feminine, yet strong enough to till the soil during harvest season. I would lick her hoop earrings with the angry butter churning motion of a young Amish goatherder who can’t find wife.
Suburban Pimp
It’s hard out here for a pimp.
And by out here, I mean suburbia.
And by pimp, I mean Timmy the Clown.
Morris
Oh Morris.
Your face is like a three day old loaf of pumpernickle rye after being urinated on by feral wolves and then masticated by a toothless billy goat.
Your limp, half-hearted sideways gang sign hand gesture just made a member of the Crips in Compton cry for the father he never knew.
Your kissy lips are a spectral guppy fish sucking the air of future progress out of the ether and converting it to carbon douchoxide.
Poor Caroline.
She just wanted a free drink.
Abstract Fartistry
What’s more fun than macking on a Brunette while sitting on a couch painted by Joan Miró?
Flipping off that bitch who prefers Modigliani.
Yup. Art jokes. On a Monday no less.
I blame too much dextrose.
Three Votes for #2
All three of the people in this pic voted for #2, as you can tell.
Have you voted in the Weekly yet?
HCwDB of the Week
Ali bomaye!! Ali bomaye!! It’s on.
Here’s your finalists:
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Bucky Got Mad Game (and Crazy Skillz)
What always adds a second layer of crapwaddery to an HCwDB pic is confirmation that the coupling is, indeed, real.
Later that week we learned that not only did Bucky have mad game, but he has crazy skillz.
And the painful pic #3 confirmed this taintball of poseur lick was actually with tanned Kathy Hott.
Kathy Hott has a smile that makes avacados shimmy and grapefruits burst forth with citrus seed.
Bucky needs to be run over by a steam train and then peed on by a titmouse.
Also note the giant welder’s gloves as Bucky “Runs with the Goose.” A new douche look for 2009? Perhaps.
And the pants? Hammertime.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: The Shmeg Warrior
This pic has grown on me like a fetid fungus for a number of reasons.
At first, Shmeg felt like your standard Party Choad. Then I looked closer.
The smug pout.
The dipshit hair with frosted tip bonus.
The hint of Vote for Pedro mustache.
The prominent neck bling.
And curling up with him is our Drunk Sorority Hottness, Amanda, with sexy shoulder suckle and dazed “do me” resignation.
She reminds me that we must also pay tribute to Farrah Fawcett, the originary H.C. of the 1970s. A bit before my time, but I hear that poster brought about many to want to Lee her Majors.
And if she is Farrah echo, he’s Michael’s chimp, Nubbles.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: The Scrotasaurus
This pic did not get the HCwDB props it deserved when it first appeared last week.
Note two of the hottest, purest, ivory snow ladies that I would salivate on like a drooling brain-addled oxy contin addicted lobotomy patient enraged after watching six straight hours of Mind of Mencia while strapped to a Clockwork Orange torture chair.
And do not let the grin forgive the Scrotasaurus his douchitude. For he is the worst of Vegas pustule.
Clearly this is HCwDB Weekly material. But is this coupling (tripoling?) rank enough to win?
(Dis)honorable mention to Steven King’s The Tongue and The Tongue Part 2, Luke Wilson’s Tumor, Follywood Squares and Suspenders of Disbelief, each of whom just missed the cut, for varying degress of hottness and douchitude.
So them’s your three.
Which rises to the top (bottom) of the scale? That’s up to you.
Vote, as always, in the comments thread.
Trust Massingill
The leader in Vinegar and Water solutions for 73 years!!
Or at least until this guy came along.
Predatorbag Saturday
If it gels, we can mock it.
Does this alien hunter of douche-prey ever wear a shirt?
