Friday, December 4, 2009
Friday Haiku
Crowhawk eyebrow wax,
Velvet Rick James Superfreaks,
Asian Doll’s soul weeps.
Dong the Magic Pawn
Has ship anchor around neck
Keel haul douche pirates
— Crucial Head
Anyone for hoops?
Drop a trey through my ear hoop
for buzzer beater.
-noobbag
Dork flashes west-side,
Patrick Ewing grimaces.
Run away, Tia!
— Bag A
Golden clad tape worm
Hangs around, seeking some crumbs
Before heading home.
— Teddy Tendergrass
Hey Bro’ Cash For Gold
Would fund many Hennesey
And the cabfare home
— Vin Douchal
Dong the Magic Pawn
Has ship anchor around neck
Keel haul douche pirates
Hey Carson Faily
The next shot from my shotgun
Won't just clip your ear.
Carson Daly douche
Big pimpin' with Mr. T
"I pity the douche!"
Ass-hats grab the hott
Another one bites the dust
The whole world weeps
Brobag flares nostrils
Inhales large granule of crack
Should have cooked longer.
Pink is the new black
only for douchebag homos;
Evander shudders.
Dork flashes west-side,
Patrick Ewing grimaces.
Run away, Tia!
The pimp remains cool
Before he bitch slaps both his
Prized anal sex whores.
Painted fingernails
saps machismo from gesture
West Side hates your guts.
White folks on each side
Deep rich chocolatey center
Reverse Oreo
Quart-indian hott
Only likes dudes with big…clocks
What'cha think I meant?
Sweet lovely Rita
Douchebag brought her to the club
but won't bring her home.
Combine chin dribble
with Lamar's rounded goatee;
symbol for on/off.
Pink tie man joins gang
Slow to realize this means
Giving up his hott
BroGrimm has necklace
Spun from Repunzel's gold hair
Lock douche in tower.
Circle gets the square:
'Circle' is Lamar's chin pubes,
'Square' is Rita's poon.
Anyone for hoops?
Drop a trey through my ear hoop
for buzzer beater.
-noobbag
'Bag and hott pose with
Exhumed Wilt Chamberlain corpse
'Bag says, "I did him."
Brothabag looks short
He's really seven feet tall
Phat chains weigh him down.
Clean-cut emo douche
Mistakes Rick for gold dealer
"I'm Rick James, bee-yotch!"
With noose around neck
Leon says last words to crowd:
"White folks are douchie."
Rick James brothabag
about to pound Crowhawk's ass.
Just look at his eyes.
-noobbag
Pink tie on gaybag.
Hand gesture for gay shocker?
How does that one work?
-noobbag
Jud and Bootsy mack.
Bootsy gives Jud some pointers.
Powdered courage helps.
Sweet asian goodness.
Jud gains street cred from Bootsy.
Mai's somewhat impressed.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey
Jerome's wealth doubles
As gold sets record high price
He "Pities the Fool!"
Bro stares sullenly
Thinks emo 'bag has technique
For picking nose wrong.
Criss Angels' girlfriend
Has found another way to
Have her sex needs met
Yummy Asian hott.
Open her fortune cookie
to reveal your fate.
-noobbag
Brothabags are elusive
Their hotts are always hotter
with secret wide booties
Jimi Hendrix's ghost
Fondles the Foxy Lady
Douchebag's out of luck
Velvet & Douche Soup
Asian Dumpling Dipped
in Hot & Hot Soup
This fool throwin up West
Choke his cracker ass with donkeyrope
Asian doll stays for money
Cover band poses
After show at The Shammy's
Band: The Black Guy Pees.
United Nations
should never have accepted
douchie diplomats.
-noobbag
Unfortunately,
spike on head is way too short
to stab own temple.
-noobbag
They are stunt doubles
Named Carson Gayly, Dick Shames
And Bai Sexuling.
Lameass earhole fad
Frowned upon by Brothabag
Asian hott paid to pose
My last haiku may
Be dumbest ever written
On this site – need drink.
Douche wants a threesome.
What he doesn't know is that
his ass gets pounded.
-noobbag
Painted fingernails
are never found on straight guys
Rick James not amused
Bro 'bag contemplates
How much his two hos are worth
On the 'Frisco streets.
"Me ruv you rong time."
said the asian hott to douchebag.
Bag wants the blacksnake.
Rick James is thinking
"Get the fuck out of here, douche,
Asian hott is mine!"
-noobbag
I pity the fool
Who does that shit to his ear!
No jibber jabber!
Golden clad tape worm
Hangs around, seeking some crumbs
Before heading home.
@ Sir Crucial Head
You must not have read my post
underneath your post.
(sorry, @ 7:32AM)
Emo 'bag and hott
Take turns delivering their
Prized hand jobs to bro.
Brobag should attach
his neck anchor to douch ear.
Watch him sink slowly.
-noobbag
Flava Fellate knows
Pubic Enemy broke up
But still cashes in.
Soul brother's big clock
Says: "Time to kick douchebag's ass;
Hand, hair, chin offend."
(I can't remember my stupid Google account password! Agh!)
Purple shiny shirt
plus pink shiny douche neck tie.
They're gay, hott is mine!
-noobbag
Hung over from drink
Douchebag pics make me vomit
Damn you DB1
Lainie says aloud,
"I thought Shaft was a movie!"
Todd flashes Westside.
Tia Carrera
is a naughty little girl.
Dump these two douches.
-noobbag
Yes, this is Cody.
Tony Hardnipples wants to
check his cash balance.
Pink tie with lobe holes
Demonstrates to bro and hott
Three pears up his ass
I think I'm done now.
Creativity waning,
I shall retire.
-noobbag
Bro 'bag's pondering
BET Awards show has
Very nice waiters.
Anne, Parole Worker
Receives furlow approval
Quickly rescinded
When asked, "what the hell?"
Jerome quipped, "I love Flava
Flav and Zack Morris."
Guess what, teepee head?
It's Ol' Dirty Bastard's Ghost
Here to take yo' bitch
Hole in ear is a
representation of his
not hearing concerns.
Hey Bro' Cash For Gold
Would fund many Hennesey
And the cabfare home
Caught off guard by hott
asian mixed with black bag, I
almost missed mohawk.
Second-tier douches
for Criss Angel's hott's half-sis
thanks to lack of boobs.
"A Team" stunt doubles
Have been in one too many
Crashes in the van
Clearly no one works
too hard on Friday morning!
Priorities straight.
Pissed by his whiteness,
Tookie Williams steals girl and
grants Daly's "Last Call".
Pink tie makes the choad
Playdough Fun Factory made
BrothaBag's bad bling
His gang signs can't hide
This tool's true identity:
Douchey Ed Grimley