Friday, December 4, 2009

Friday Haiku


Crowhawk eyebrow wax,
Velvet Rick James Superfreaks,
Asian Doll’s soul weeps.

Dong the Magic Pawn
Has ship anchor around neck
Keel haul douche pirates

— Crucial Head

Anyone for hoops?
Drop a trey through my ear hoop
for buzzer beater.

-noobbag

Dork flashes west-side,
Patrick Ewing grimaces.
Run away, Tia!

— Bag A

Golden clad tape worm
Hangs around, seeking some crumbs
Before heading home.

— Teddy Tendergrass

Hey Bro’ Cash For Gold
Would fund many Hennesey
And the cabfare home

— Vin Douchal

# posted by douchebag1
3:05 pm December, 4 Crucial Head said...

Dong the Magic Pawn
Has ship anchor around neck
Keel haul douche pirates

3:06 pm December, 4 Crucial Head said...

Hey Carson Faily
The next shot from my shotgun
Won't just clip your ear.

3:08 pm December, 4 Bagnonymous said...

Carson Daly douche
Big pimpin' with Mr. T
"I pity the douche!"

3:09 pm December, 4 The Desert Douchehunter said...

Ass-hats grab the hott
Another one bites the dust
The whole world weeps

3:09 pm December, 4 Crucial Head said...

Brobag flares nostrils
Inhales large granule of crack
Should have cooked longer.

3:10 pm December, 4 Douche Wayne said...

Pink is the new black
only for douchebag homos;
Evander shudders.

3:10 pm December, 4 Bag A said...

Dork flashes west-side,
Patrick Ewing grimaces.
Run away, Tia!

3:11 pm December, 4 Crucial Head said...

The pimp remains cool
Before he bitch slaps both his
Prized anal sex whores.

3:11 pm December, 4 Douche Wayne said...

Painted fingernails
saps machismo from gesture
West Side hates your guts.

3:12 pm December, 4 scrotum pole said...

White folks on each side
Deep rich chocolatey center
Reverse Oreo

3:12 pm December, 4 Bagnonymous said...

Quart-indian hott
Only likes dudes with big…clocks
What'cha think I meant?

3:12 pm December, 4 Douche Wayne said...

Sweet lovely Rita
Douchebag brought her to the club
but won't bring her home.

3:13 pm December, 4 Douche Wayne said...

Combine chin dribble
with Lamar's rounded goatee;
symbol for on/off.

3:15 pm December, 4 saulgoode42 said...

Pink tie man joins gang
Slow to realize this means
Giving up his hott

3:15 pm December, 4 Crucial Head said...

BroGrimm has necklace
Spun from Repunzel's gold hair
Lock douche in tower.

3:15 pm December, 4 Douche Wayne said...

Circle gets the square:
'Circle' is Lamar's chin pubes,
'Square' is Rita's poon.

3:16 pm December, 4 Anonymous said...

Anyone for hoops?
Drop a trey through my ear hoop
for buzzer beater.

-noobbag

3:17 pm December, 4 Crucial Head said...

'Bag and hott pose with
Exhumed Wilt Chamberlain corpse
'Bag says, "I did him."

3:17 pm December, 4 Douche Wayne said...

Brothabag looks short
He's really seven feet tall
Phat chains weigh him down.

3:17 pm December, 4 Bagnonymous said...

Clean-cut emo douche
Mistakes Rick for gold dealer
"I'm Rick James, bee-yotch!"

3:19 pm December, 4 Crucial Head said...

With noose around neck
Leon says last words to crowd:
"White folks are douchie."

3:19 pm December, 4 Anonymous said...

Rick James brothabag
about to pound Crowhawk's ass.
Just look at his eyes.

-noobbag

3:21 pm December, 4 Anonymous said...

Pink tie on gaybag.
Hand gesture for gay shocker?
How does that one work?

-noobbag

3:22 pm December, 4 Anonymous said...

Jud and Bootsy mack.
Bootsy gives Jud some pointers.
Powdered courage helps.

Sweet asian goodness.
Jud gains street cred from Bootsy.
Mai's somewhat impressed.

-Amerigo Vesdouchey

3:22 pm December, 4 jonezy said...

Jerome's wealth doubles
As gold sets record high price
He "Pities the Fool!"

3:22 pm December, 4 Crucial Head said...

Bro stares sullenly
Thinks emo 'bag has technique
For picking nose wrong.

3:23 pm December, 4 saulgoode42 said...

Criss Angels' girlfriend
Has found another way to
Have her sex needs met

3:23 pm December, 4 Anonymous said...

Yummy Asian hott.
Open her fortune cookie
to reveal your fate.

-noobbag

3:24 pm December, 4 Scrotal Body Workout said...

Brothabags are elusive
Their hotts are always hotter
with secret wide booties

3:25 pm December, 4 scrotum pole said...

Jimi Hendrix's ghost
Fondles the Foxy Lady
Douchebag's out of luck

3:26 pm December, 4 MoeDouche said...

Velvet & Douche Soup
Asian Dumpling Dipped
in Hot & Hot Soup

3:26 pm December, 4 E-blos last thought said...

This fool throwin up West
Choke his cracker ass with donkeyrope
Asian doll stays for money

3:27 pm December, 4 Crucial Head said...

Cover band poses
After show at The Shammy's
Band: The Black Guy Pees.

3:27 pm December, 4 Anonymous said...

United Nations
should never have accepted
douchie diplomats.

-noobbag

3:30 pm December, 4 Anonymous said...

Unfortunately,
spike on head is way too short
to stab own temple.

-noobbag

3:32 pm December, 4 Crucial Head said...

They are stunt doubles
Named Carson Gayly, Dick Shames
And Bai Sexuling.

3:32 pm December, 4 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Lameass earhole fad
Frowned upon by Brothabag
Asian hott paid to pose

3:32 pm December, 4 Crucial Head said...

My last haiku may
Be dumbest ever written
On this site – need drink.

3:33 pm December, 4 Anonymous said...

Douche wants a threesome.
What he doesn't know is that
his ass gets pounded.

-noobbag

3:34 pm December, 4 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Painted fingernails
are never found on straight guys
Rick James not amused

3:35 pm December, 4 Crucial Head said...

Bro 'bag contemplates
How much his two hos are worth
On the 'Frisco streets.

3:36 pm December, 4 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

"Me ruv you rong time."
said the asian hott to douchebag.
Bag wants the blacksnake.

3:36 pm December, 4 Anonymous said...

Rick James is thinking
"Get the fuck out of here, douche,
Asian hott is mine!"

-noobbag

3:37 pm December, 4 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

I pity the fool
Who does that shit to his ear!
No jibber jabber!

3:38 pm December, 4 Teddy Tendergass said...

Golden clad tape worm
Hangs around, seeking some crumbs
Before heading home.

3:39 pm December, 4 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

@ Sir Crucial Head
You must not have read my post
underneath your post.

(sorry, @ 7:32AM)

3:39 pm December, 4 Crucial Head said...

Emo 'bag and hott
Take turns delivering their
Prized hand jobs to bro.

3:40 pm December, 4 Anonymous said...

Brobag should attach
his neck anchor to douch ear.
Watch him sink slowly.

-noobbag

3:44 pm December, 4 Crucial Head said...

Flava Fellate knows
Pubic Enemy broke up
But still cashes in.

3:44 pm December, 4 Summer's Eve said...

Soul brother's big clock
Says: "Time to kick douchebag's ass;
Hand, hair, chin offend."

(I can't remember my stupid Google account password! Agh!)

3:44 pm December, 4 Anonymous said...

Purple shiny shirt
plus pink shiny douche neck tie.
They're gay, hott is mine!

-noobbag

3:45 pm December, 4 Horace Dangleballs said...

Hung over from drink
Douchebag pics make me vomit
Damn you DB1

3:45 pm December, 4 "Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock said...

Lainie says aloud,
"I thought Shaft was a movie!"
Todd flashes Westside.

3:47 pm December, 4 Anonymous said...

Tia Carrera
is a naughty little girl.
Dump these two douches.

-noobbag

3:47 pm December, 4 "Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock said...

Yes, this is Cody.
Tony Hardnipples wants to
check his cash balance.

3:48 pm December, 4 Horace Dangleballs said...

Pink tie with lobe holes
Demonstrates to bro and hott
Three pears up his ass

3:48 pm December, 4 Anonymous said...

I think I'm done now.
Creativity waning,
I shall retire.

-noobbag

3:49 pm December, 4 Greta Van SusTurd said...

Bro 'bag's pondering
BET Awards show has
Very nice waiters.

3:50 pm December, 4 Vin Douchal said...

Anne, Parole Worker
Receives furlow approval
Quickly rescinded

3:50 pm December, 4 "Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock said...

When asked, "what the hell?"
Jerome quipped, "I love Flava
Flav and Zack Morris."

3:51 pm December, 4 Justin said...

Guess what, teepee head?
It's Ol' Dirty Bastard's Ghost
Here to take yo' bitch

3:52 pm December, 4 "Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock said...

Hole in ear is a
representation of his
not hearing concerns.

3:53 pm December, 4 Vin Douchal said...

Hey Bro' Cash For Gold
Would fund many Hennesey
And the cabfare home

3:54 pm December, 4 "Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock said...

Caught off guard by hott
asian mixed with black bag, I
almost missed mohawk.

3:55 pm December, 4 Bagnonymous said...

Second-tier douches
for Criss Angel's hott's half-sis
thanks to lack of boobs.

3:55 pm December, 4 Vin Douchal said...

"A Team" stunt doubles
Have been in one too many
Crashes in the van

3:56 pm December, 4 Bagnonymous said...

Clearly no one works
too hard on Friday morning!
Priorities straight.

3:57 pm December, 4 "Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock said...

Pissed by his whiteness,
Tookie Williams steals girl and
grants Daly's "Last Call".

3:57 pm December, 4 Vin Douchal said...

Pink tie makes the choad
Playdough Fun Factory made
BrothaBag's bad bling

3:59 pm December, 4 Justin said...

His gang signs can't hide
This tool's true identity:
Douchey Ed Grimley

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