Friday, April 30, 2010
Friday Haiku
Dorothy lost in
Grease Forest of Choadkinland,
smells like Toto’s poo.
Hallo. My name is Vlad.
I see you notice my tusk.
I rip from wild boar.
– End the Haberdouchery
Tiger claw necklace?
Dorothy, take Dad home now.
Collar epic fail.
– Bag A
A used-up old jelly dong
worn down to a nub
hangs from the neck of a douche
– Hot Buttered Poopcorn
No innocence lost
When enveloped around douche
Shark died for his gut
– Fyodor Dostedouchesky
Hey, it’s the villian
from the Beat It video!
He likes young girls, too.
– Bagnonymous
Their reinactment
Of flick, ‘The Professional’
Fell short in wardrobe
– Ex-Douche Machina
Douchebag castrato
Wearing his severed member
Can hit that note now
– Vin Douchal
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Hey, it’s George Michael.
Why is he not in restroom
jerking off for cops?
Saber-toothed Wankscrote
Holds Hott tight. He’s lost before:
Hair,Respect,Taste,ect.
Enormous shades can’t
hide all insecurities
from sweet Dorothy.
Hallo. My name is Vlad.
I see you notice my tusk.
I rip from wild boar.
Tiger claw necklace?
Dorothy, take Dad home now.
Collar epic fail.
Gi-normous watch, tooth
and belt buckle compensate
For tiny package
Hey there, mom and dad!
Here’s a pic of me and camp
counselor–he’s hott!
A used-up old jelly dong
worn down to a nub
hangs from the neck of a douche
No innocence lost
When enveloped around douche
Shark died for his gut
Dorothy fell fast.
Somewhere over the rainbow,
Flying monkeys weep.
He desires to
be newest Mr. T. She
hugs pitiful fool.
She will jump the shark
because he can buy her drinks.
She just looked eighteen.
Hey, it’s the villian
from the Beat It video!
He likes young girls, too.
Baby dinosaurs
tat cements this ‘bag as a
seven year-old douche.
Shark got off easy
by giving tooth away. Barfed
because too much AXE.
Lucky rabbit’s foot
Douche wishes he won’t get caught
With underage chick
Their reinactment
Of flick, ‘The Professional’
Fell short in wardrobe
Hey, bedazzler
Racoon penis-bone necklace
Does not bring good luck
These 80s parties…..
Come on glittery Eileen,
Can’t you play too shy?
Evgheny Eh.
His is wild and crazy cocck.
Good tan for slav chick.
“Look at these guns” says
douche by ripping off sleeves. Too
bad they shoot blanks.
Semitic douchebag
lights the menorah then macks
at her bat-mitzvah.
A nine-branch Menorah
Cannot bless or clense this scrote
Abomination!!
Sharp object on neck
Pleads to be used as weapon
Stab douche in his chest!
Shades at night mean that
douche is unaware he is
hitting on daughter.
Attention parents:
Your daugthers aren’t studying.
They’re out with this guy.
Hey, pud with stone face
Bedazzled collar…tough stare
These two do not mix
Sweet, sweet Connie, you
can do better than Mad Matt
Beyond Thunderdouche
Damn Bagnonymous
Your milliseconds beat me
For Jewish Haiku!
Huge belt buckle, shark
tooth, six-pound watch. Douche
checklist completed.
See my big watch girl.
Me Lada has an eight track.
Fleetwood Mick I lick.
Bridge and Tunnel Douche
Picks up girl on her class trip
from Oklahoma.
Douche has worst look since
Rufus Thomas in “Wattstax”
Go ahead, click link
Franklyn DealorNo:
You don’t want to race with me,
I always come first.
.
* cue sad trombone *
Dorothy’s silver
dress is really hazmat suit
Scrote stain melted arms.
DJ Jenny gives
platonic hug to her math
teacher Mr. White.
Mankind responds with
Universal sign : “Gag me”
Urp! Here comes breakfast
They’re not in Kansas?
Well, send him to Leavenworth.
There’s no place like home.
I am sorry for
low blow to Mr. White.
I deserve some mock.
Here’s the answer to
How far did you have to chase
The fag for that shirt
Jenny throws party
for dad just out of joint. No
more buggery now.
Toothy chain points down
For directions to his groin
His face looks like ass
What’s up with no sleeves?
This could cause a lot of heaves!
Even when with beaves.
Douchebag castrato
Wearing his severed member
Can hit that note now
Jenny collects some
evidence for pedophile
pornography ring.
Judy Garland Hott
Should stay off Yellowbrick Choad
This sure ain’t Kansas.
Too much wrong with pic.
Hott only thing stopping me
from scratching eyes out.
Give up the necklace
If gaudy chain grabs chest hair
Pecs shave burns our eyes
He has no heart, brain,
but courage enough to wear
glittery red heels.
Scruffy beard gives Pam
rashes on her cheeks. “Mom says
to act your age Dad.”
Shown here, Doc Bunsen
Gives his young niece Jennifer
the “bad touch.” Again.
In back may be a
menorah, but he’s more like
a scar of David.
Nik Richie’s wedding
Best Douche and Bleeth of Honor
Dance floor pool of grease
too many rhinestones
on this butt burglar’s person
just run lola, run
Necklace chain is flip
tops from seventies’ beer cans
Was cool last time Out.
Shady, smelly Karl.
Grabs next anal rape victim.
Dons dead gramma’s tooth.
.
Dorothy’s angry.
Bites off more than she can chew,
To lose sweet girl rep.
.
.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey
That damn tornado
Swept her to Wizard of Axe.
There’s no place like home
Kate has accepted
The stalking and stench of Axe
Creepy Uncle Bruce
Daddy/Daughter Dance -
“Sugar” and her coke daddy
didn’t understand.
Baby Dino’s on
arm tat shriek their horror at
Being tied to douche.
Good one Mr. White.
I deserve pointed haiku.
Let’s work for good now.
Growing out your beard
doesn’t make up for bald head.
You’re an aging douche!
Mr. White and Doc
can kid each other nicely
and still bring the mock.
Tin Man out of suit
No wonder they covered him
Get back in, dammit!
Those are not glasses,
Those are big fuccen goggles!
Herpes in eyeballs?
Can’t he melt under Axe?
I just ripped “flying monkey”
that smells much better.
Damn missing trash can!
I butchered the syllables
and must repair it:
.
Can’t he melt from Axe?
I just ripped “flying monkey”
that smells much better.
Don Johnson white coat
wannabe can’t afford coat
Tune in: Miami Lice
Cindi’s scat fetish
Draws her to his poo necklace
Sun-bleached ivory
He helped her remove
Her stuck tampon; now it hangs:
Symbol of their love.
Run, Dorothy, RUN!
Do NOT walk the path of the
Yellow Dick Choad
Auntie Em warned her
about leaving the farmhouse
with Uncle Henry.
Good witch or bad witch?
He’d rather ride her broomstick
or stuff a scarecrow.
Dorothy took wrong
turn. Ended up with Lizard
of Oz. Click Heels! Quick!!
Rhinocerous Horn
Douchebag’s chest completely shorn
Fair maiden forlorn
Turk Wendell’s necklace
Makes this douchebag as cool as
Timothy Treadwell.
Olfactory fail:
she couldn’t smell nor reason
his speckled butt plug.
Eurotrash Bling Tooth
Big Foreheaded Euro Not
Next Post Please
Now the the Haiku is ended may I add that I would like to grease her enchanted forest. And by forest I mean barely legal bush.
Get some.
The toxic power
of this scrote puts mark of the
douche on hot’s forehead.
Samurai Scrote’s hott
wore silver threads too; look what
a blog thread THAT wrought.
Give the scrote credit:
his white shirt matches his tusk,
and warm creamy jizz.
Tanned and tatted scrotes
who wear dark glasses at night
are douche cockkroaches.
If a scrote does a
spread shirt reveal, will a hott
spread her silken legs?
A close encounter
of the fourth kind is when Hott
hugs alien douche.
Dorothy is sweet
Douche Bag does not deserve her
Dad call the police
Back in the day, a
‘bag like this hugged his Hawg, not
the delicate hott.
my dream last night was
Anne Hathaway is my boss
ate cake off her ass!
needed a glass of milk this morning
She’s alright, but what’s with pops? Crazy Euro kiddyfiddler.
Choadwank dundee!
I just noticed the transferable power of the mark of the ‘bag on the hotts forehead. She’s scarred for life.
“He’s…Too sexy for this page,”
Only if that means
Anal cum receptacle
oops got meter backwards
Jason Statham’s dad
Douchier than his gay son
Semen-soaked nightmare
Plaster cast of dick
Hangs around the hairy neck
Of aforementioned
Sleeveless studded shirt
Nutless Armenian fag
Perestroika, hell!
Douche loves baby corn
So much, he has a necklace
With one round his neck
Lost in the jungle
Prisoner of the douche tribe
Got Stockholm Syndrome
He could have another tusk if he shaved off his nose. image how big that bone is
THAT MUTHUFUCKA
He dun blown numba hundred
an I got it – YO!
the tooth fairy needs
to come by and stab him with
lots of walrus tusks.
i’m usually late for the haikus, but this time i almost forgot about it. damn.