Saturday, June 5, 2010
The Jizz Singer
Sometimes, the douche is so strong, no hot chick is possible to save the vortex of suckage. Not even when doing the cel phone bathroom mirror portrait.
The Jizz Singer is just that moment.
We, as a society, have failed.
Closet of Poo, meet The Jizz Singer.
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Jizz Singer, meet The Closet of Poo.
I know this is called Hot Chicks with Douchebags and all, but when did we start posting pics of fecal logs being birthed from a Snow Leopard’s hoo-haw?
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I quit.
To the closet, asshat. I need another beer and an eyewash.
Because I find the Jizz Singer repulsive, and because there’s no hott in the picture, I’m thiiiis close to writing DB1 and falsely (yet anonymously) claiming “I’m in that picture–take it down.”
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But turning a blind eye to douche just becuase it is visually repulsive will not solve our problem. We must mock. And hope that next Friday brings more ass pear.
United Culos of Bendoverton
Most of the deceased I’ve autopsied have had skin of a more natural hue than this guy.
He’s begging for a vivisection.
dipping yourself in an Andy Gump to look tan is never a good idea… Jizz Singer hep C is in your future
“The Jizz Singer.” HA!!!!!!
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I can see him now.
“Mamm’reez! How I love ya, how I love ya, my dear ol’ mammreez!”
A purging is imminent. No douche will be spared.
Ladies and Gentlemen: MR. BEN VEREEN!
He was born a poor white child.
What fuccken colour is the dude in the mirror picture? Blue man group I think.
And the Jizz singer must go to the closet of poo. That colour is also inexplicable.
you’re doing it wrong.
Now I’m completely interested in what neighbourhood this poonis hangs out in, and how the locals of that neighbourhood allow such racism/race treason/delusion/smell to continue with out a shooting/lynching/gang rape/push into a septic system to occur.
Even mammy miami would look at him and be like “dude… that’s a little racist, don’t ya think?”
Michael Jackson’s ghost just shivered and said, “Damn, I coulda left the bleaching cream alone.”
Kill It!!!!!
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Kill it NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Huh that’s just…huh? Do you think he got up in the morning and thought “I think I’m going to paint myself shit brown today, the ladies will love it”? Or does including thought in the scenario make that impossible because, well come on.
I’m all for a healthy glow but damn! This is extra gross. We deserve an ass pear for this cruelty…
After bravely volunteering to act as the human plug for the Gulf oil leak, Johnny is undaunted by the failure, and spends the weekend recovering in his Baton Rouge apartment..
I used SPF 30 today out in the blazing SoCal sunshine. After seeing this I’m moving up to SPF 30,000
If you flushed a shit, a goldfish and a monkey fetus down the toilet and they miraculously melded together and came to life , this idiot is what would float out of the sewer tank
Ok…I was gonna suggest this fellow is a natural Black, but no, it has to be the fake-tan. Even I’m confused.
But when he goes so far as to imitateadorable li’l pickaninny hair with the spikes, I’m dumbfounded.
And then he rolls the dice with a die-tie shirt, well….pass me a Mai Tai. It;s hot and it’s humid and I need tropic splendor in a glass, not a jizz-master.
Even if it is a hoodie with blue and white dice all over it, I like the Japanese illusion and allusion he creates by wearing it.
So does Samurai Scrote.
haha the Jizz singer is hilarious! and i love how the dice top shows how he “rolls”, This reminds me of another pic on facebook i saw like this except with a skankette in the pic too,
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=38004&id=100000557786241
C’mon, this guy works at the zoo. No one else volunteered so they made him the head elephant rectal examiner. Why just last week he found three polyps in the biggest bull elephant’s colon. And then he excised them using only his teeth.
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Posting from home without avatar. Stoopid WordPress.
^ @ myself
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OK WordPress is smarter than me. Go figure.
Good lord. I haven’t seen a muck jumper like him in over 30 years.
Vin 5:26,
I tried it, and that damn monkey fetus plugged up my toilet.
Thanks a lot.
just clicked on the hall o’ mock links…. Peanut Fucking Ass Head! hilarious Boss!
^ cousin of Crucial Aloysius Head?
Can one photo qualify one to be in the Hall of Scrote? Wow, I’m gonna have bad dreams tonight.
This idiot is reason alone for the creation and subsequent development of an entirely new category of awfulness. HOS is too good for this guy, ditto Closet of Poo, nor could Hall of Mock possibly contain the input of comment from all the world’s right thinking men & women regarding his frightful appearance.
I propose something similar to The Douchie Award, except stand alone, where mere entry as a contender be restricted to the utmost example of douche. It’s getting so we’re going to need it soon enough anyway. I mean, the douche definitely isn’t backing down.
@Creatch,
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It would be more than an honor to have ‘The Great Bald One’ counted amongst the C.A. Head clan. Alas, The Pfah are far too pale and far too hairless to fool even the most juvenile bouncers that guard my kingdom’s gates.
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Instead, he hovers in the clouds like an emaciated, bespectacled Buddha – raising one eyebrow in unflinching response to each douche that is posted, and furrowing the other brow in an effort to glimpse ‘ghost nipples’ with each hott that is posted… all the while sharing mirthful guffaws with BCS, BMT, Ed, Plinky, Michelle Meats, and Wonky Donkey, while they watch Doc burn in Hell’s everlasting torment.
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Pfah was no ‘baghunter, mi amigo. Nay, Pfah was a ‘baghunter’s ‘baghunter.
@Tall Guy,
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I think the time has come for you to wear pull-ups like the rest of us and get a damn Gravitar. Get thee over to the Forum tab, look up Steve L’s thread where he provides the needed instruction, and adapt.
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Your comments are far too funny to lack the eye candy of a retarded Gravitar like mine.
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@Whoop-Di-Douche,
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You have been here waaaay too long for me to issue the same warning. You should know better by now…
I think we’ve gone into another category with this one. This dude wants to be black so much he actually tried to darken his skin… Instead he just looks like the ole douche standby of poo.
For future reference: No you cannot fucking do this shit!
@ Croosh
just miss Pfah, BCS, Plinky, Ed, Mitch Meats, etal…. but soldier on with the likes of DarkSock & the rest of y’all in the dregs of baghunting callouts… many stalwarts here, you know who y’all are… here’s to us & those like us… HURRRRRL!
@Creatch,
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Three walk-offs in a row by the Doyers… the Lake Show in command… Mike Watt ruling the internet airwaves… I love you man.
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Plutonically oft corse.
I think we need one of these:
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Surely this is so close to blackface that someone can be sued. I mean seriously…
My face hurts now and I smell burnt toast. Is that from this pic or am I just having a stroke.
I never thought I’d live to see The End. Funny…I’d always imagined nuclear holocaust or something. Wow. Just wow.
I learned not to rub my own feces all over myself after going number two in the big boy potty many years ago. His mother has utterly failed him. But shit man, can you blame her? Vodka and valium is one hell of a morning tonic.
the last pick in the last round of the last racial draft, the jizz singer is also the reigning “Mr. Irrelevant”
I’m starting to get tired of these “Sammy Sosa before the skin cream” pictures.
What. The. Fuck?
i don’t want to hear this turd sing, i can tell you that.
Did he dip himself in a barrel of s*t?
That is just plain repulsive, how can you look in the mirror and go ‘dayum I look hott’ .
And then go and inflict yourself on others.
MY EYES!!
OH, GOD, MY EYES!!!!
Excuse me while I lobotomize myself to erase this picture from my memory.
CLOSET OF POO. RIGHT NOW.
Wigger Please! That Poop Bag looks better than you.
thats two doods. one might say doo doo.
@Vin 5:26
Holy shit man! That’s good stuff.
pretty sure that “chick” in the bathroom mirror was a dude…
Okay, so he looks like a kid ready to throw a tantrum…you know why?
The girl taking the picture told him how unnatural he looks, and he says, “no I don’t, I look good bitch…I look GOOD.”
His little balled up fists say it all.
Must have been watching too many cowboy things recently. I read the post title as the Jizz Slinger. Thought that the pose was a cock cowboy about to draw.
Please, please, please someone Photoshop the color balance so my eyes hurt less.
Thank you.
There is no joy in Mudville.
Clyde Turner, sole survivor of the Deepwater Horizon explosion.
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Too Soon?
Giuseppe Palermo: First Italian Astronaut to return from the manned mission to land on the Sun.
“But…won’t you and the crew be burned alive?”
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“STUPIDO! We gonna go at night!”
“Whoever switched my baby oil with Hershey’s Syrup is going to be fuccen sorry”, Vinnie vowed silently to himself.
Presenting the Ambassador from the Planet Mercury.
Cut off the head, it’s the only way.
What’s brown looks like a toilet brush and smells like shit?
I am not a bum. I’m a jerk. I once had wealth, power, and the love of a beautiful woman. Now I only have two things: my friends and… uh… my thermos. Huh? My story? Okay. It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin’ on the porch with my family, singin’ and dancin’ down in Mississippi.
Rick James called; he said “DARKNESS!”.
I would suggest that it be killed with fire, but it looks like that’s already failed. Time to throw him out of a plane.
Sock,
Fuck yo’ couch!
He thinks he is going MMA. What a twat!
Douche, Well Done
Tar Booby
Black Sumbitch
Sambitch?
Char Baby
BuckWaste
Cockcausian
Douchebag. Minus the hot chick.
Which begs the question, why is he in here?
We’ve seen this peniswart before.
Somebody should photoshop someone interesting into this photo.
so how low can the gsr go before we see fishbelly white peaking through like a fruit of the loom waistband?
This one is going to be a Douchie contender. You can just smell it and it reeks of fresh, steaming, sick dog crap. And thus Haiku….
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The Jizz Singer, yo!
Biomass only value
It’s wood chipper time!
@ Crucial Head,
I added one, although it’s not showing here, but oddly, though unsurprisingly, it’s displayed elsewhere…
Anyway, i’ll persist. it’s an image of a cat: Tabitha. She’s in England. I was also there for a while.
mandingoombah!
fugayzi.
“Don’t make fun of my Halloween costume! No one else thought about going as Mr. T’s enema nozzle.”
Oh, man. Forget my eyes, I need some Soft Scrub applied directly to my brain. At least he’s in the Closet of Poo where he belongs.
I’ll just stand by this fence here, and launch these stones at that god forsaken creature. There are some people who just need an ass-whoopin!
Holy shit what is that thing and what sludge creek did it crawl out of? Perhaps its been in the gulf. Seared by the sun and oily like the crap pouring into it.
i don’t know wtf that is but i don’t trust it one bit
It’s almost as though he’s doing a modern version of “black face”. I’m vaguely insulted but lmfao~
You fucking cock head,what’s with that fucking stupid tan